The Crappy Zero-Star Therapist in a Parallel Dimension

Meet the worst therapist on Earth. He drinks cheap whiskey, aggressively insults his patients, and boasts a bulletproof zero-star rating online. He doesn't want to heal you; he just wants your hourly rate so he can pay his rent. But when a routine session with a weeping middle-manager abruptly turns into a telekinetic meltdown, he realizes that he is in a parallel dimension that is basically a psychological hazard zone. Welcome to a world where unresolved trauma literally gives you superpowers. The citizens here are walking, superpowered powder kegs, relying on their fractured "Egos" to cast fire, bend gravity, and level city blocks. The catch? If their mental health deteriorates, they burn out, and become food for interdimensional monsters hungry for negative energy. In a society entirely populated by emotionally unstable, heavily armed psychopaths, a guy who actually understands the DSM-5 is the ultimate mechanic. But our protagonist didn't get a superpower. He got something infinitely better: absolute, soul-crushing apathy. Because he is so fundamentally cynical and completely dead inside, he leaves zero psychological footprint. Psychic detectives can't track him. The trauma-eating monsters think he has the nutritional value of a cardboard box. He is the ultimate anomaly—a ghost in a city of glowing targets. Well, a ghost with one massive headache. Because his transition to this world woke up his subconscious "Alter"—a sickeningly sweet, overly empathetic Beverly Hills life coach who now lives rent-free in his head and refuses to shut up. Stranded in a dystopia where nobody remembers him and a militarized anomaly task force is hunting his shadow, he has only one goal: find a decent cup of coffee and extort these superpowered lunatics for everything they’re worth. Heroes save the world. He just bills it out-of-network.