"Mingyu told me everything," Jennie said, her voice laced with a teasing tone as she entered the kitchen. "But he failed to mention one critical detail. I figured it out when I noticed how you constantly stole glances at Jungkook."
You remained frozen in front of the electric oven, focus glued to the simple task of cooking. The rhythmic sounds of bubbling and sizzling momentarily occupied your mind as you prepared a meal for Jungkook. It had been nearly two weeks since you last laid eyes on him, and you couldn't shake off the gnawing concern that took root in your heart. You had observed his gradual weight loss, despite his commitment to daily workouts. In your eyes, an athlete like Jungkook deserved to look and feel his best. Yet, it seemed as though physical appearances were the least of his worries at the moment.
When sedated, his mind might have been shrouded in fog, drifting in a haze of sleepiness, but his body could still respond to your gentle guidance. He resembled a lost child—accessible yet distant—perhaps sensing your presence but unable to connect fully.
You tried to block out Jennie's incessant chatter, her voice cutting through the tranquil bubble of your thoughts. Each word dripped with a subtle aim to provoke you, laced with bitter remarks about Jungkook and the events that transpired during your absence. It was baffling to you why she acted this way, what satisfaction she derived from trying to incite your anger.
"So, you've got a thing for him, huh?" she smirked, leaning casually against the countertop, her confidence radiating like a bright light. "Such a shame it's a one-sided love. I mean, from the way Jungkook fucked me, it didn't seem like he had anyone else in mind or even cared about another soul."
Her words felt like daggers, piercing through your composure, and you clenched your fist tightly, biting your tongue to suppress the flood of emotions churning within. Jennie's smile remained unwavering as she observed your stoic expression while you deliberately set the dinner table, trying to keep your hands steady.
After your conversation with Mingyu the previous night, Jungkook had shut himself away in his room. Now, with the clock striking 8 PM, the silence in the house seemed to amplify.
Every lingering moment without him felt like a weighted blanket suffocating your heart. Each time you thought about him, a fresh wave of sorrow crashed over you. He avoided your gaze as if you were a ghost in his world, an unwanted specter.
Maybe he doesn't want me near him anymore, the thought echoed in your mind relentlessly, fattening your despair.
It was agony, filled with uncertainty and longing. You felt utterly lost, unsure of how to navigate the complicated web of your emotions, your instincts screaming at you to do something—anything—but all you could think of was escaping the oppressive atmosphere suffocating you.
And then there was Jennie, complicating everything tenfold. You couldn't deny her allure; she was young, stunning, and radiated confidence, which felt like an unbearable contrast to your own insecurities. As you pictured her alongside Jungkook, your stomach twisted painfully.
They were both so beautiful together, a perfect match that made your heart ache even more. What am I even doing here? A sense of alienation washed over you, making you feel like an unwelcome intruder in a space that should have felt like home. Why should I stay if he doesn't need me? The question echoed through your mind, pushing you closer to the edge of despair.
"You really have a talent for keeping your emotions in check, you know. It's honestly a bit exasperating. How do you manage to go on like this? I can tell that beneath that calm exterior, you're a whirlwind of feelings just waiting to burst out."
You placed your palms flat against the polished surface of the table, feeling its coolness seep into your skin, and closed your eyes for a brief moment, seeking a quiet center. Just as you were about to gather your thoughts and respond, a sudden sound near the door interrupted you. You turned your head to see Mingyu entering the room, a grin plastered on his face as he shoved Jungkook into the space behind him.
"I told you already, I'm not hungry," Jungkook snapped, his sharp gaze fixed on Mingyu, who merely rolled his eyes in response.
"I don't care what you said. This girl went to the trouble of cooking for you, so you're going to eat, whether you like it or not," Mingyu declared, pulling a chair out with a loud scrape against the floor and plopping down with an air of finality.
Jungkook's eyes fell to the table, where you had set out a beautifully arranged plate of his favorite food—a colorful array of dishes that you had spent hours preparing, hoping to coax a smile from him. But then, his gaze met yours, and for the first time, he found you devoid of your usual bright smile. You'd always made it a point to smile warmly at him, thinking that perhaps it would lighten his dark moods, but in this moment, you simply couldn't muster it, and the disappointment washed over you like cold water.
"This girl is really annoying. I hate her," he sighed dramatically, frustration lacing his words.
Mingyu groaned, obviously exasperated with Jungkook's attitude.
You made an effort to smile faintly, wanting to show that his words didn't cut as deeply as he might have hoped.
"Watch your mouth, Jungkook," Mingyu warned, his tone firm yet playful.
Caught up in the moment, you instinctively found yourself defending Jungkook despite your hurt feelings. "You misunderstood," you interjected, the words spilling out before you could stop them. It was as if you were compelled to stand up for him without consciously choosing to, your loyalty shining through even in this tense atmosphere.
Mingyu raised his eyebrows, confusion evident on his face.
"By hating me and calling me annoying," you whispered, your voice low and hesitant, "he was actually referring to my stubbornness and how I seem to be following him everywhere. He... doesn't hate me for real." Your gaze locked with his, searching for understanding. "Isn't that right? At least, I hope it's like that." A flicker of hope sparkled in your eyes, a small plea for reassurance.
Jungkook's expression shifted, his eyes darkening as he held your gaze. They were usually warm and inviting, filled with a light that made you feel safe, but now they held a depth that sent a shiver down your spine. It felt as if he was weighing your words, calculating how to respond to the vulnerability you had inadvertently revealed.
Feeling your heart race, you dropped your gaze to the table, swallowed by an overwhelming sense of loneliness that clung to you like a second skin. Despite that emotional heaviness, your face remained unreadable—a carefully crafted mask that concealed your true feelings, a blank slate void of any expression.
Seated before your untouched plate, you stared at the food as if it held the answers to your unanswered questions. Jungkook shifted in his seat and moved to face you directly, but you didn't look up.
"I hope you like it," you said, forcing a bright tone into your voice, betraying none of the turmoil swirling within. "I did my best." With that, you picked up your fork and began to eat mechanically, each bite feeling like a weight on your chest.
Beside you, Mingyu remained silent, his eyes trained on you in a way that felt too observant. He understood you better than anyone else, having spent years unraveling the intricacies of your personality. He could tell you were battling something deep inside, yet the weight of your struggles left him speechless. For now, he opted for silence, not wanting to push you further into your own thoughts.
As the three of you continued to eat dinner in an almost oppressive quiet, your eyes kept drifting back to Jungkook. Each glance felt like a silent question that danced in the air between you. Eventually, your gaze fell to the mark on the side of his neck—one you couldn't help but find yourself drawn.
Jungkook noticed your wandering gaze and instinctively covered the spot with his hand, a frown creasing his brow as his attention sharpened. He watched you closely, an intensity in his gaze, trying to decipher what secrets lurked behind your uncertain expression. It unsettled you, the way he attempted to read you; you weren't sure if it was the gaze of concern or something more, but it churned your stomach.
Struggling to continue eating, you eventually surrendered, abandoning the facade. It was becoming increasingly impossible to conceal the ache that had taken residence in your heart. You knew that no one could dictate how another should feel, yet there was still a flicker of hope whispering that maybe, just maybe, he would say no—refuse to accept someone else's sexual advances.
The tension in the air heightened as Mingyu, sensing your turmoil, reached out and wrapped his fingers around your hand resting on the table, a gesture of solidarity.
Your eyes widened in surprise and dread, mirroring the shock that also crossed Jennie's face.
Did I mention that Jennie was sitting right next to Jungkook? Of course, she was. XD
It felt like fate had a cruel sense of humor, and you could almost hear it laughing in the background.
"So, Y/N…" Mingyu started, a teasing grin spreading across his face as if he had just stumbled upon the best-kept secret. "Did you tell Jungkook the big news? I'm sure he'd want to know. After all, you two have gotten so close these past few years."
Panic surged through you at his words, and you shot him a terrified look, your heart racing.
"What the heck are you trying to do?" you hissed through clenched teeth, the anxiety bubbling just beneath the surface.
As he interlocked your fingers, the action drew Jungkook's undivided attention, pulling his focus away from dinner and straight onto the two of you.
"Y/N accepted my proposal," Mingyu announced with an air of casual confidence that felt so out of place. "As you all know, I'm already 30, so… why not marry someone as incredible as this girl?"
Your heart was racing wildly, each beat echoing as the gravity of his statement sunk in. You quickly turned your gaze to Jungkook, hoping to gauge his reaction, and in that moment, your heart seemed to freeze.
Jungkook's face went pale. He was gripping his fork so tightly that his knuckles began to turn white, shock evident in his wide eyes. But then, almost imperceptibly, they began to shimmer, a flicker of something deeper swirling within them, something that sent a jolt of fear through you.
"Don't do this, Mingyu. I don't want this," you murmured under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear, desperation seeping into your otherwise steady voice.
"Wow. You move fast, alright," Jennie chimed in, laughter bubbling up as if she hadn't noticed the tension swirling around the table. "Who would have known that my lovely cousin would make such a huge leap in his life? I thought work was everything to you."
The words hung in the air, cutting through the silence and heightening the stakes of the already charged atmosphere. Your heart sank further, knowing you were standing on a precipice, watching everything you hoped for slip away.
Mingyu casually brushed off Jennie's presence, a warm smile stretching across his face as he turned his attention to you. "Sometimes, you really need to think about yourself as well," he remarked, his voice light but with an underlying seriousness that made you pause.
A wave of frustration washed over you. "I hate lies. They're just not for me," you replied sharply, pulling your hand away from his grasp, feeling an overwhelming need to clarify your stance on the mess that was unfolding.
Your gaze shifted towards Jungkook, who stood a few paces away, his expression a mix of hurt and disbelief.
"Jungkook… What Mingyu said was all a… " you began, but your voice faltered as Jungkook cut you off.
"I don't care," he replied, his voice cracking and barely above a whisper. "I really don't care. You can do whatever you want. You can be with whoever you want. Isn't this what you told me?"
With that, Jungkook stood abruptly and left the kitchen, the sound of his footsteps echoing in the silence that followed. You felt a swell of anger and disappointment swell up inside as you shot a glare at Mingyu before running after Jungkook.
"Kookie, listen…" you pleaded as you reached for the door, but it was locked tight.
"Stop calling me that. Just go away. Leave," he said, his voice strained with emotion.
"It was a lie, okay? There's nothing between Mingyu and me. He was just joking. But… why would you care anyway, right? You left and... you've already found someone else… so easily." Your voice trembled, and you felt the sting of tears prick your eyes.
Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady yourself. "Tomorrow, I will leave. And I will never come back. I… I know when I'm not wanted," you murmured, pressing your palm against the door, feeling its cold surface against your skin. Despite your efforts to stay calm, your voice betrayed you, shaking with emotion.
"Why would it be a lie?" Jungkook's voice came from the other side, filled with confusion.
"What?" you responded, your heart racing at the sudden vulnerability in his tone.
"You're perfect. Mingyu is perfect. Of course, you two would…" His voice trailed off, leaving an uncomfortable silence.
"I am not perfect," you shot back, feeling a mix of annoyance and despair at the way he could perceive you.
"It doesn't matter how you see yourself. It matters how I see you. You're perfect. Everything you do is perfectly calculated. You don't make mistakes. Your actions don't cause pain to others."
"Then why do I feel like this 'perfect' version of me— as you call me— brings you pain? Doesn't that mean I'm not perfect?" Your heart ached with realization, every word pressing deeper.
"I'll always drag you down. No matter what I do, I'll never be able to reach your level. I'll always remain down here, beneath you," he whispered, raw vulnerability spilling over.
You leaned your forehead against the door, eyes shut tightly as you fought back the wave of emotion consuming you. "Is that why you ran away? Because you were scared you'd disappoint me? Because you think you haven't changed? But you have changed. Can't you see how far you've come? In your place, I would have given up long ago. You're stronger than you realize. Don't compare our journeys."
"Yes, I left because of that. But that wasn't my only reason. I did it because… I do care. Why would you think I don't?"
"So, I made a mistake after all. Leaving you with the TV on… that was a huge mistake," you said softly, guilt swirling within you.
You then heard the sound of keys rattling, followed by the unmistakable click of the door unlocking. When Jungkook swung it open, his head hung low, tears glistening on his cheeks. Instinctively, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him, wanting to comfort him in that moment of vulnerability.
"We'll talk about all of this later. Right now, you need rest. When was the last time you actually slept? Mingyu mentioned hearing you scream in the night. Those nightmares have returned, haven't they?"
Jungkook shook his head, burying his face deeper into the crook of your neck, inhaling your familiar scent as if it were a lifeline.
"Then what's changed?" you asked gently, brushing your fingers through his hair.
"You," he murmured against you.
"I'm in your nightmares?" you asked, your heart tightening at the thought.
"Yes. You always show up, trying to protect me, and every time… you get killed by the police. In each dream, I'm holding you, but you stop breathing. No matter how hard I try, I can't make you breathe again. It's the same nightmare every single night," he confessed, anguish lacing his words.
"You're leaving me, and there's nothing I can do to bring you back," he added, his voice filled with sorrow.
"It's only a dream," you soothed, caressing his head gently. "Nothing is real."
Jungkook squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around you tightly, unwilling to break free from your comforting embrace. The thought of you dying in those dreams ripped his heart apart like a jagged knife.
"Did I hurt you? You need to tell me. I find it difficult to understand you sometimes," he said earnestly, his voice trembling.
"No. Right now, I'm happy. If I can hold you like this, there's nothing more I could ever want," you whispered, fingers tangling in his hair as you pressed your nose against his neck, relishing the closeness.
"I saw how you looked at me earlier. Does this stupid mark bother you?" he queried. You stubbornly shook your head, denying any unease.
Jungkook tightened his grip around your waist, gently pulling back so your gazes could lock.
"I didn't touch her, Y/N. Nothing happened between that girl and me," he asserted, sincerity etched on his face.
"But I thought…"
"You thought wrong. But that doesn't mean I'm without fault. I… wanted to. I needed to. And I feel like absolute trash because of it."
"But you stopped. Why?" you asked, your fingers caressing his cheek softly. "Why do you feel guilty? Like I said... you can do whatever you want. You don't belong to anyone."
Jungkook offered a small, tentative smile before changing the subject. "Where's your lip piercing?" he asked, tracing the outline of your lower lip with his finger.
"I took it off a long time ago," you replied, a hint of nostalgia creeping into your voice.
"Bring it back. I liked it on you," he said, a playful glint returning to his eyes.
"Alright. Tomorrow, I'll buy one," you promised, your heart fluttering at the thought.
"Will you stay?" he asked suddenly, his eyes locking onto yours, brimming with hope.
Your heart surged, a powerful rush of emotion threatening to spill over.
"Do you want me to?" you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jungkook bit his lip, mulling over his response. "Stay with me tonight," he whispered, the way he looked at you making your whole being tingle with anticipation and nerves. You had almost forgotten how it felt to be so close, to be wrapped up in his warmth and the soft spoken words that lingered in the air between you.
"I... I feel safe knowing you next to me. I miss holding you. So, stay."