"You? What the hell are you doing here?", Liv asked her brother through the slight crack of the door.
"None of your business."
"Shut up. What's going on? What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing. Oh, and he doesn't want to see you, so you go ahead and scram."
"Nothing my ass", she said through her teeth.
Just as Arvid was about to close the door in her face she nudged a leg inside and kicked him right below the knee.
"Ow! What the fuck!", he exclaimed and took a few steps back while rubbing his leg, making it easy for her to slip inside.
"Where is he?"
"Get out. He really doesn't want to see you."
"What have you told him? What's happened?"
Her distress was obvious as she moved quickly from room to room, eventually hurrying up the stairs.
"Liv, I'm not kidding", Arvid growled as he followed close behind and then she gasped and he figured she had found Thomas.
When he came after her into the bedroom she was already crouching next to Thomas, who sat leaning against the wall on the floor, whispering things in a voice which was very clearly trying to keep tears at bay. Arvid understood her. Thomas looked frightening and there was residue of throw-up on his shirt. As Thomas didn't answer her but just stared out into nothing, she turned back to her brother.
"Arvid, tell me what's going on."
"He's not mentally well, Liv, I thought you were aware", Arvid said dryly.
"I am. But... Fuck. You need to eat, idiot, now", she shook Thomas lightly by the shoulder.
"We tried that. Could've went better", Arvid nodded towards the trace of vomit.
"Get her out of here", Thomas suddenly spoke and cringed away from Liv's touch, "You said you'd keep her out."
"Well, mate, she kicked me and then got inside. Can't really argue with brute force."
Liv ignored her brother and stared, pale and shaken, at Thomas.
"Arvid, would you go to the store and get him something? He won't eat anything that's expired, which everything in the fridge probably is."
When Thomas didn't protest, Arvid muttered a word of agreement and left.
"A week ago you seemed okay, what happened?", Liv prodded Thomas as she went to find a clean shirt for him in the dresser.
"I realized Arvid was right. This is madness."
"Maybe. But it's worth it becau..."
"No see that's just it. It's not. Not even close."
The tears resurfaced and she looked down into the drawer, picked out a white college sweater.
"You can keep doing this. As many times as you like, Thomas. I'll be here."
"No you won't. Because the truth is Liv, right now, you are nothing but self harm to me. Quick, easy, and efficient self harm."
There was no way he had just said that, she thought as she flinched, dropping the shirt on the floor.
"You don't mean that."
"What if I strike you a deal? We take... say 6 months apart, I do therapy, medicine, whatever and if I get better we try again."
The floor had disappeared from under her feet.
"No way. No fucking way. I swear I'll go all Bella in New Moon on you if you're serious about that."
"What?"
"You never read the Twilight books?", she said, sinking down onto the bed.
"No. Might've watched one movie."
"Whatever. I don't... I don't want to waste any more time without you in my life. What, did you lie to my mom when you said you loved me?"
A part of her despised how needy and desperate she sounded.
"Doesn't matter. We're bad for each other, there's no way around that. Besides, it's the only way we'll know, isn't it?"
"Know what?"
"If we really do like each other or if we just got off on the pain and the sneaking around."
"Fuck you", she rasped, "I don't have to ask myself that. I know the answer."
Thomas didn't respond and she slowly got up from the bed.
"Fine. I'm gone. But you're gonna eat and you're gonna accept help and do whatever the doctors tell you to."
A stiff nod and now the tears were running down her face and she threw the shirt on him and left, bumping into a surprised Arvid in the hallway.
"You're leaving?", he asked incredulously.
"Yeah, a deal's a deal. Make sure he eats and makes a doctor's appointment. Remind him that he promised."