It has been a week, and today sis and I are taking the plane to the sea to scatter the ashes of those we have lost.
The journey to the airport is uneventful. But for me, it comes with a reconnection with the city where I grew up. That is more noteworthy than the absence of trauma with traveling in a car. Surely, that is because of all the mayhem my head and my heart have been through.
The sun is bright, a little harsh even, but that is how it is most of the time in Phoenix, at least nowadays. Previously, it was tamer, more comfortable. But global warming is apparently a thing for this planet too, like the one I remember in my past life.
I look at the people outside, and I wonder what it is like between life and death, and even after death.
The echoes that came back to me are only about life, a past one, not about death, not about what it has been like after, not about how the present came to be.
I lose myself in the well-planned urban setting, my mind wandering around. I don't actually notice when we arrive at the airport.
"Max, we are there."
Liz touches me, and I snap out of my thoughts. They produced no results. In the end, actually, my mind just wandered, and it is like a downtime for my brain after the rough period that has passed.
I wear a dress today. The past week has allowed me to regain touch with my life, this one, not the one that is already over with nothing that can be changed about it. I feel comfortable, even with my arms exposed and the wind caressing me.
I'm a girl, maybe an oversensitive one now, but I was born a girl, and Liz is a girl. With her I learn how to be a girl, and to grow up into a woman. I'm not uncomfortable anymore, at least.
Though I still have some things to work on, psychologically. So, yes, I can wear it without feeling weird now. It just can't be white, it really cannot.
The wind buffet my dress, and I use my hand to keep my hair from becoming messy, then look at Liz who is taking our luggage out after paying the fare.
The sea we are going to is called the Heart Sea. It is because it is at the center of the world. It is called a sea, but actually, it is more of an ocean, one that takes up half of the surface of the planet. It is called a sea only because it is surrounded by land all over.
I limped to Liz's side to help her but she shoos me away. I can only smile and walk into the airport empty-handed. Still, my leg is healing well.
We have arrived a little early, so it takes one hour for the call to come for us to prepare to embark. We walked with the crowd, and when the line has moved until it is our turn, sis put our valise onto the conveyor.
We only brought one for the both of us. It is big enough for the short time we will spend on the trip.
I frown slightly at the security guard, because it is a man. It is not the first time for me to take a plane, nor for the security guard that will check me to be a male, but this time, my distaste for the situation is greater than before.
I frown slightly, before I let go of my sister to have her pass the check first. However, my eyes widen when the portico beeps and my sister is stopped. Especially when the guard smiled, because I saw it clearly when he pushed his foot to the portico at the same time as my sister passed, and his leather shoe has a metallic buckle.
"Miss, please stop and raise your hand."
Liz doesn't protest, but I have to clench my fist to stop myself from making a scene when I see how hot the guard's eyes are when he looks at my sister.
"Hehe, look at that. Such a good body, and it looks flexible too. I bet she can bend in many directions. Hey, I wonder if she has already tried using all her holes, if not I can help her. I will take her to the interrogation room, and I will bend her. Look at those curves, they are so juicy. They might even produce something if I milk her. She must be so moist!"
My breath stops at that moment, and when I see him approach Liz the handheld detector and bring it close to her chest to the point of almost touching it, I see red, and my mind explodes.
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU PERVERT!!!"
This my first time shouting so loud. The fat, libidinous pervert freezes, before he starts to turn red with anger.
But I don't care. I hurry to Liz even as she looks at me with concern.
"Max, what is it?"
"Miss, this is the airport. Causing chaos and preventing the security from doing its job can land you in detention. Return in line now, and considering your age, I will pretend nothing happened."
I open my eyes wide. I can't believe the pervert was shameless enough to speak his thoughts in public, but he now wants to invert right and wrong.
"You– You–"
I feel like something is blocking my chest, that is how much I am feeling outraged. If not for my leg, I would have already jumped on that bastard.
Everyone is looking at me with confusion, but mostly curiosity and dissatisfaction, and that indifference hit me even harder.
Do women have no right? Are our vaginas for anyone to come and treat us like breeding mares? Or because we have breasts, anyone can come up and fondle us a bit?
Liz passed her hand over my chest.
"Max, calm down, and tell me what it is."
"Sis, he–"
The commotion is getting bigger. I turned to the only support I know will never disappoint me and I start speaking when I freeze.
The guard, I heard him loud and clear, to the point that I almost picture him licking his lips like a degenerate before a buffet meal. But he never spoke before I shouted.
His eyes, I remember, had no decency, but still, he never opened his mouth, he never spoke not out loud.
The shock I'm feeling, I can't stop it from making my eyes go wide.