My legs buckled as I slowly sat in that plastic blue chair, my hands ever shaking. I felt like I couldn't breathe. What they said couldn't be real. This must've been a dream because was it just me or was the room shaking? I felt water roll down my face and I tried to push it back, but it never worked. Why is this happening? Could their words have caused these waves? Is she really gone? Am I truly awake? The more I wondered, the more I yearned to cower in shame. I caused this, didn't I? I just wished it wasn't so. Soon enough, I heard that voice calling for me, a voice that pushed the knife deeper into my heart.
"Dad! Dad! Where's mommy?"
My breath was trapped, unable to escape my lungs, and the world around me twisted and turned. What do I tell her? What can I tell her? Am I supposed to say that her mother's dead? That I was the one that killed her? That she'll never see the smile that warms our hearts? That the most wonderful person in the world was gone? A part of me wished the world would swallow me whole and take me to her, but that could never happen. What type of father would I be if I left Evie alone? The entire world watched, or so it felt, but I had to tell her the truth.
"Um, Mommy's gone pumpkin."
My heart pulsed in pain. She doesn't understand the pain beneath these words, like a lion stalking its prey.
"What do you mean, mommy's gone? Didn't she go into that room?"
Her pudgy, little hands pointed towards **that** door. It was like the gate of hell to me. All I could see were her ghastly hands reaching towards me, eager to tear me apart. Something they had every right to do.
"Mommy, she- she had to go away and- and we won't ever see her again."
Finally, it struck, claiming the antelope that was her heart. A drizzle of rain began, a sort of calm before the storm. Those beautiful grey eyes, much like her mother's, seemed to be like storm clouds, patiently waiting to burst.
"I won't see mommy again? How is mommy gone? Where did she go? "
I always knew that one day she'd have to experience death, but I just never thought it'd come so soon.
"Remember how you were taught that when we are done having fun here, we will return to our true home if we are good, but if we are bad, we can never go home? Well, mommy's gone home, knowing her."
That was it. That was the final straw before those stormy orbs burst forth and the drizzle became a torrent of waves covering her face. My heart shattered to pieces. All I wanted to do was wipe away those tears and tell her it'll be alright but how could I do that? How could I ever tell her these words while knowing the truth? I just don't know how to live without her, my darling; Rose.
Crack!
My eyes darted down the hall and I saw a broken glass cup on the floor and a nurse nearby. That sound was chilling as my mind plunged deep into the ocean of the memories of that night.