Beneath the sizzling sun, four hazy figures trudged across a desolate stretch of scorched sand, their wavery outlines veiled in the shimmering mirage of hot air rising from the desert. Two of the figures— one tall and one noticeably shorter— walked with their hands buried in their pockets, bearing the sweltering heat with quiet resignation. The other two— roughly the same height as the short king mentioned in the previous sentence— yapped to each other without pause, trying to distract themselves from the overbearing heat…
"It's… so… hot…" whined Naruto, dragging his feet as he walked. "I'm… melting… ya know…"
"I know, right?" said Sakura plaintively, tugging at her collar to aerate her suffocating breasts. "I'm drowning in underboob sweat over here…"
That's right, the hottest season of the year had come back with a vengeance! When most people thought of summer, they would immediately think of summer vacations— camping in the mountains, frolicking on the beach by the sea, going to a waterpark or the pool, or even lounging around at home in underwear, going 'aaaaaaaah,' in front of an electric fan…
And yet, most infuriatingly, Sakura and company were doing none of those things. Instead, they were stuck trekking through the sun-blasted desert to meet some obscenely rich client for a bodyguard mission. Honestly, it would've taken more than a B-rank mission reward to drag Sakura out of the house in this kind of heat, but the request had come months ago, and Team Kakashi had been specifically named.
Which meant that Sakura had no choice in the matter!
"That outfit doesn't leave much to the imagination, does it?" said Kakashi, finally breaking his stoic silence. "Are you sure you want to wear that to meet a client, Sakura?"
"That's my line!" retorted Sakura. "Look at Sasuke— dressed in all black, you'd think he's going to a funeral! How is he not dying under this sun!?"
Summer also meant summer uniforms— which, for Naruto, Sasuke, and Kakashi, simply meant their usual outfits with the sleeves lopped off and a bit of ankle on display. For Sakura, it meant an even shorter skirt than usual and a midriff-exposing crop top… that also exposed a bit of underboob.
"Well," said Kakashi, shrugging, "it's your funeral."
"Look, I didn't think I'd grow this much when I bought this outfit in December," said Sakura innocently, palming her hefty bosom to emphasise her point. "I bought it with my own money, so I told myself it'd be a shame if I never got a chance to wear it…"
With the topic of Sakura's questionable wardrobe choice now thoroughly exhausted, Team Kakashi pressed on through the desert. And despite the heat and the gritty grains of sand continuously finding ways to sandwich themselves between the soles of their feet and their sandals, it didn't take them long after that to reach their predetermined rendezvous point…
Right on schedule, a horse-drawn stagecoach appeared on the horizon, kicking up a cloud of sand and dust as it crested a small hill… and then another, and another, and another… And before long, a seemingly endless procession of carriages stretched before Sakura's eyes, winding through the wasteland like one very hungry caterpillar.
Eventually, the convoy ground to a halt, and a very tall, morbidly obese man wearing extravagant robes and covered in enough jewellery to sink a small boat squirmed his way out of the closest carriage.
This, Sakura surmised, was their client.
"I am the prince of the Land of Moon, Tsuki Michiru," the rotund man introduced himself. "You must be…"
The Land of Moon…
Sakura remembered seeing a crescent moon-shaped island bearing that name on a map of the known world, when she had done her mission prep for the Kaima Capture Mission. It was even farther south than the Land of Sea Archipelago.
"We're shinobi from the Hidden Leaf Village," responded Kakashi. "I am the squad leader, Hatake Kakashi."
He then gestured to each member of Team 7 in turn.
"He's Uzumaki Naruto."
"'Sup," said Naruto casually.
"Haruno Sakura."
"Gokigenyō~," said Sakura sweetly, tugging primly at the hems of her skirt to perform a curtsy. "How do you do, Your Worshipfulness?"
Sakura had no idea what kind of etiquette she ought to use around royals, but she figured that the fancier, the better. She liked her head attached to her neck just the way it was, thank you very much.
"Did I seriously just hear you say Gokigenyō?" snorted Naruto. "You're not a princess, y'know?"
Sakura shot him a withering glare.
"And the gloomy fellow over there is Uchiha Sasuke."
"Mm," grunted Sasuke, nodding curtly.
Unfortunately for Sasuke, the moment Prince Michiru's eyes had drifted over Sakura's bountiful bosoms, he had stopped listening to a word Kakashi was saying.
"You're even cuter than the rumours said!" Prince Michiru purred, as he lowered his head to Sakura's level to stare into her eyes. "I can't believe such a beautiful woman is a ninja! Such a waste!"
He extended his hand for a handshake.
Unwilling to be rude, Sakura tentatively took the proffered hand… and immediately regretted it, because his hand was slick with sweat. But just before she could escape, Michiru went for his ultimate technique: the two-handed handshake. And just like that, Sakura was trapped.
"Ehehe," Michiru laughed dumbly, staring at Sakura's chest with a lecherous expression as he rubbed her hand.
'Ew, ew, ew, that's disgusting!' screamed Inner Sakura. 'Creep! Fatso! Ugly! NEET!'
Outraged by the way their beloved Sakura-chan was being manhandled, Naruto and Sasuke glowered at Prince Michiru, but unless either of them spontaneously learned to shoot beams from their eyes, any visual assault was doomed to critical failure.
"Why don't you give up playing ninja?" Prince Michiru proposed. "You should come live with me in the Land of Moon as my new wife!"
"I'm only fourteen!" said Sakura hastily.
Sakura had celebrated her fourteenth birthday a few days before departing for the Land of the Sea for the Kaima Capture Mission. Time was flying by, and in just another year and a half, Shippuden would begin…
"Oh good," said Prince Michiru happily, "that means we won't have to wait!"
'That's what you got from, "I'm only fourteen,"!?' shouted Inner Sakura. 'Someone overthrow this stupid royal family, they're just going to lead their country to ruin! Please, I beg you!'
Making a face as though he'd just remembered something important, Prince Michiru finally let go of Sakura's hand of his own accord, and he rummaged around in his pockets.
'It's so big…' said Inner Sakura dizzily.
"Here you go," he said, producing a wedding ring adorned with an enormous diamond. "I bought this especially for you!"
Now Sakura understood why Team Kakashi had been specifically requested for this bodyguard mission… it was to get to her!
Still… looking at his long convoy, it was clear as day that this bloke was loaded… If she agreed to marry him, she'd never have to work another day in her life, and she'd never again have to do the painful things shinobi did… and if she decided she couldn't take it any more, she'd always have the option of divorcing him and taking half of his net worth! Sakura was loath to admit it, but getting this filthy rich this quickly was kind of tempting.
Wait, why the hell was she even considering this seriously!?
"Khh, how fearsome!!" hissed Sakura, sliding backwards as if she'd just been struck by a formidable blow. "Is this the power of the rumoured Tycoon Style— Kinton no Jutsu?"
It's like the Typhoon Style Kekkei Genkai, except it produces piles of money instead of tornadoes!