"There has to be some mistake." Fudge fretted, worrying at his bowler hat.
"There's no mistake." Amelia Bones said uncompromisingly. "Welch identified Dolores Umbridge as the one who hired him and his friends to kill Harry Potter, Fleur Delacour and both of their hostages during the second task."
"It had to be someone using Polyjuice, it just had to!" Fudge insisted stubbornly. If it got out that his Senior Undersecretary had plotted the murder of the Boy-Who-Lived, he'd be finished.
"It could be." Amelia allowed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Fudge's terror of bad publicity. "But then explain why Umbridge vanished for parts unknown three days ago."
"She's just taking some time off." Fudge blustered. "She's working two jobs you know!"
"Seems pretty strange for a woman with two jobs to take indefinite leave." Amelia said, struggling mightily to keep the sarcasm from her voice. "Especially with this tournament going on."
"Nonsense." Fudge blustered some more, sweat running down his neck as he tried to make excuses for Umbridge. "I can handle myself without my undersecretary for a while and young Percy shows a lot of promise."
"Percy Weasley is in charge of the DIMC?!" Amelia demanded, completely unable to hide her incredulity. "You put a wet behind the ears Hogwarts graduate in charge of one of our most important departments?!"
"No." Fudge denied indignantly. "Dolores did. He's her assistant and the natural choice to take over while she gets some rest on her vacation. It'll be a valuable learning experience for him."
Amelia had to resist the urge to throttle the fat lump of stupidity that was Cornelius Oswald Fudge. Percy Weasley was an eighteen-year-old brat with a far too generous opinion of himself and in no way qualified to be the head of any department, much less the DIMC. She wouldn't be surprised if he started a war with Bulgaria over cauldron bottom thickness or something equally stupid.
"Minister, you have to see that this is untenable." She tried a different tack. "Just recall Umbridge and we can get to the bottom of this."
"NO!" Fudge snapped. If he let Bones get to the bottom of anything that his Senior Undersecretary was involved with, she was sure to find some 'evidence' of wrongdoing. He was well aware of the hostility between the two women. "Dolores Umbridge is a valued member of the Ministry of Magic and would not have a hand in trying to kill Harry Potter! I don't want you digging into this any more, Amelia!"
The head of the DMLE left the Minister's office foul tempered and furious. Fudge could say whatever he wanted, but she was going to have aurors keeping an eye out for the pink clad bitch regardless. She'd been hoping for years to get something to pin on Umbridge and wasn't letting the chance pass her by so easily.
XXXXX
Somewhat to his own surprise, Harry did not feel terribly depressed after his break up with Dora. He had expected it to happen and there was no shock when it finally did. All told, his mood did not sink much lower than it had been since he had told her about the Joining. At the very least the situation was resolved and they were still friends, which was honestly more than he had been hoping for.
The means by which Dora had tested if it could still work between them had served to aleviate some of the tension he'd been feeling, but it crept back by the following week.
For the first time since he had carved them, Harry resented his runes. He was simply not in the mood to have sex and – admittedly somewhat petulantly – wanted to sulk for a while. A particular saying came to mind as a good description of the situation, namely 'the spirit is willing, but the flesh is not'. Except that in his case, it was inverted and became 'the spirit is unwilling, but the flesh didn't give a shit'.
Harry sometimes wondered if he hadn't inadvertently given himself a very mild form of Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. Most of the symptoms fit, except for the part where masturbation offered only minimal relief, which he put down to the fact that his problem was half physical and half magical.
Either way, he was not in the mood to do anything about it just yet. He decided to use the situation to perform a bit of an experiment instead.
He had noticed that his fangirls had become bolder with their offers in the lead up to his and Dora's break up and had eased off a bit right after. He hadn't paid too much attention to it at first, but it didn't take long for his curiousity to become piqued. If nothing else, it made for a good distraction.
He started randomly attending classes that he knew his fangirls to be in and sitting next to them, wanting to see what they would do.
As he had half suspected would happen, they got continually bolder as the days passed. At first, they would just smile widely, entirely too happy over the simple fact that he was sitting next to them. But as time went on and the slow boil of his own lust worsened, their behavior changed. Inviting smiles and smouldering looks turned to more physical expressions. They would lean in to him to ask a question or drop a hand on his thigh. It wasn't long before the first blatant offer of a good time in a broom cupboard came.
He didn't limit himself to just the Hogwarts girls either, but also deliberately sat next to some of the Beauxbatons ones during meals to see if they would be the same. They were, though it was rarer.
The changes were much less pronounced in the younger girls. Parvati and Lavender were still at the stage of lip biting and breathy longing looks by the time that most of the seventh years had progressed to the point of being physical whenever possible.
Harry had no choice but to conclude that he was indeed broadcasting a sort of magical 'need sex, looking for girl' signal. His own rising lust problem must have leaked into his aura and was attracting females in the same way that an animal might use pheromones.
Considering recent events, he might have been upset by this, but his testing had managed to conclude that it was only affecting the ones that were already interested and not planting any foreign desires into the girls. That was very good, because Harry really did not want to deal with the moral quandary that he'd be placed in if it was otherwise. That one Ravenclaw sixth year guy that had also been hinting at sexual interest had actually put him at ease. Harry was straight as a board and certainly would not have been soliciting gay sex, either consciously or subconsciously, which meant that he was only emboldening people that already wanted to get into his pants rather than anything more sinister.
There were only two outliers in his tests that he couldn't quite pin down: Luna and Fleur.
He knew that Luna was sexually interested, she had flat out told him so. Curiously, her behavior didn't change just as it hadn't before. He didn't know if this was a consequence of the Joining or if it was because of the promise she had made to her father. He knew how much it meant to her, so it could be either one. That wasn't mentioning that she was quirky enough to throw off his tests even without that being factored in.
Fleur had already been pretty blatant in her interest, making it impossible to say if her lack of reaction was due to her veela heritage or if she simply couldn't get any more obvious without shoving her tongue down his throat. Once again, it could be either one.
It was an interesting experiment that told him he certainly wouldn't be lacking in girls willing to help him relieve stress when he inevitably stopped being stubborn and gave in. By the point that he figured all this out, he was refusing to take one of them or Fleur to bed more for the sake of curiousity than sadness from the break up. He wondered if it was similar to a veela's Allure and what it would push the girls to do over time.
So focused was he on this new project that the situation he currently found himself in had blindsided him completely.
He was in one of his bi-weekly Arithmancy lessons with Professor Vector, nothing unusual there. What was unusual was that her chair was so close to his that their legs were touching and she pressed her breasts into his arm whenever she needed to point something out on the paper they had on the desk between them.
He had vaguely noticed that the teacher he'd been having detention fantasies about for over a year now had been slightly more frazzled lately but hadn't paid it much mind. In this latest lesson though, she had slowly gravitated ever closer until she was pressed into him and her presence was now radiating a desire to jump his bones.
That was...unexpected. Vector hadn't been considered a test subject for this little project. He'd never had even a hint of an idea that she had any thoughts in that direction, she had always been the perfect picture of professionalism. His best guess was that she had been hiding it and his lust soaked aura had worn away her restraint over time.
"You're not paying attention, Harry." The professor in question chided gently, leaning in close and pointing at the equation he had written down. "This is all wrong, if you tried to set up a ward like this it would collapse within hours."
Well of course he wasn't paying attention. Not only was the teacher he'd wanted to boff for so long nearly draped over him, but he also hadn't had any sex in three weeks and was long past the point of being only slightly distracted.
Should he go for it though, that was the question. It was plainly obvious to him that he was going to need to pick a girl or three for the purposes of stress relief or else become unable to think of anything but sex, but he also didn't want to jump into another relationship. Breaking up with Dora may not have sent him spiralling into a depression worthy of a thrashy romance novel, but he wasn't eager to jump back into a commitment again either.
In that respect, Vector would be perfect. She was a sweet, quiet, demure woman and utterly uninteresting as anything other a MILF. He didn't see himself having a relationship with any woman so 'settled' in life even if she had been closer to his age and without the whole teacher-student thing getting in the way.
The reasons not to sleep with her essentially boiled down to potential awkwardness between them.
"I'm sorry, Professor." Harry said, deciding on a course of action by placing his hand on her thigh. He would only be in Hogwarts for a few more months anyway, so even the worst case scenario wasn't that bad and Septima Vector really was a very hot lady. "I've been a bit distracted lately."
Septima froze and then flushed as she felt his hand creeping up her leg. She was not proud of it, but she was terribly attracted to her young student. He had been a cute, if somewhat awkward kid when they had started with these private lessons, but had grown up far too quickly into a very handsome man. Getting invited to dance with him during the Yule Ball and seeing him in nothing but swim trunks for the second task hadn't helped at all. She was embarrassed by her own behavior lately, but touching him just felt so good. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to do anything more than that, so it was alright. He was almost like her apprentice anyway and it was a well known dirty little secret that masters or mistresses of their craft often took advantage of their apprentices. She was being quite decent really.
Then his hand gripped her thigh and Septima found herself feeling not very decent at all.
"Harry..." She tried to say, not even sure whether she was going to protest or encourage him. It was a moot point in any case because he cut her off with a kiss.
She knew that she really should protest where this was going, but it felt so good that she kept delaying for just a second longer and then for another when that second passed. Before she knew it, Septima found herself sitting in his lap.
Finally, he broke the kiss and moved on to paying attention to her neck. It didn't help improve her resistance any, but it did free up her mouth for talking.
"Harry...we should...stop." She breathed out with no conviction whatsoever. "The rules..."
"I won't tell anyone if you won't." Harry said and went back to nibbling on her neck. His hand slid upwards across her stomach to fondle a breast through her robe.
"But..." She tried again, for no other purpose than to appease the fading voice of reason. The libido was firmly in the lead and leaving reason in the dust.
"Fuck the rules." Harry growled and stood up, taking the professor with him. The chairs went clattering backwards and a negligent wave of his hand had the clutter on the desk following suit.
As she was pushed to bend over the desk and had her robes hiked up, Septima decided that rules were overrated. Here was a strong, handsome, powerful young man that could have any number of women but wanted an old woman like her and his assertive approach was much more appealing than rules. The life of a Hogwarts teacher could get very lonely what with living in the castle all the time and having only the holidays to dedicate to one's personal life. Not to mention that she had always been the quintessential Ravenclaw bookworm with poor social skills.
There had been other students that she had found attractive but had never worked up the nerve to act on it even in their last days of schooling when she could have gotten away with it. Having Harry take the decision out of her hands suited her just fine.
Harry noticed her acceptance of the situation and smiled in anticipation as he pulled down her panties. Her lower lips were already glistening wetly and he didn't hesitate to lean in and run his tongue across them. Her gasp encouraged him further and he was soon licking her vigourously. With her bent over the desk and him squatting behind her, his tongue couldn't quite reach her clitoris, so he applied his fingers to it. There was a particular spell he had developed during his time with Dora that had always proven to be a big hit with the sexy Metamorphmagus and he intended to make full use of it here as well.
Septima was perfectly happy to let him do whatever he wanted while she lay on the desk and enjoyed herself. A quiet whine of disappointment left her throat when his tongue and fingers retreated from her tingling groin, but the sound of a clinking belt buckle put an end to that. The realization that her fourteen-year-old student's member was in all likelihood being pointed at her dripping fanny at this very moment saw reason make a last ditch attempt to get her to protest, but it was quickly silenced when she felt the head of it being rubbed against her labia. No, the time for protesting was long past.
She felt herself being penetrated a moment later and couldn't hold back a gasp of pleasure as the large male member slowly slid into her, filling and stretching something that hadn't seen use in far too many years to think about. Her legs shook from the sensations wracking her body once he was sheathed all the way inside her.
Harry waited like that for a few more seconds, hiking her robes up even further over her rump so that he could grab hold of her thighs without it trying to slide back down. The spell he had placed over her clitoris that forged a sensation link between it and his member had turned out a bit too effective. He could tell that she was very close to orgasming already.
When she wiggled against him impatiently he knew that delaying any longer was not an option though. Screw it, so they wouldn't reach climax at the same time. He planned for both of them to have plenty anyway, so it was all good.
A ragged cry of pleasure escaped her throat as he pulled out almost completely and then hilted himself back into her. Her groin felt it was on fire and it got more intense with every thrust. By the fifth one she was crying out loudly as a powerful orgasm wracked her body, leaving her helpless to do anything but hold on to the desk and ride it out.
Harry paid no heed to her climax and only sped up his thrusting, his own lust getting the better of him. Not half a minute after her orgasm, he was groaning as his seed spurted up her vaginal tunnel.
Sweaty and satisfied, Septime confirmed her earlier thought about rules being overrated. Sure, she'd be in some trouble with the law if it got out that she'd had sex with a student, but it was very had to care about that when her legs felt like jelly and she had a handsome young wizard panting behind her with his cock and sperm filling her.
She let out a small groan as he leaned over her to whisper into her ear.
"Ready for round two?"
Septima's eyes widened. Round two?! What the hell did he mean round two? She could barely move after round one.
Then he pulled out and rammed himself back in and the Arithmancy professor belatedly realized that he hadn't gone soft and was apparently not finished with her.
XXXXX
Later.
Taking deep breaths, Harry pulled out of his favorite teacher with a groan. The sight of her shuddering backside, pubic hair matted with sweat and sperm with streams of both running down her legs to soil her shoes and the panties still around her ankles had him seriously contemplating having another go at her. The refusal of his equipment to get up again put an end to that idea though.
Instead he cast a light healing spell on Septima's groin to soothe any aches that might be present there, followed by the ever useful contraceptive charm. He left the mess where it was though, rather liking the sight of what he'd done to her.
She didn't move aside from taking deep, gasping breaths as he moved around the desk to stand in front of her. Septima was not a particularly powerful witch, either in magic or personality and with her soul laid bare to him her submissive bent was plainly obvious. She had enjoyed evey moment of his control over her. That in addition to the pretty picture of her exhausted satisfaction gave him a naughty idea.
He threaded his fingers through her sweat soaked black hair as he spoke. "You left quite a mess on me, Professor. You should clean it up."
To his delight, she didn't hesitate to shift forward a bit and take his wrung out member into her mouth, tiredly cleaning off the mess on it. Oh yes, they would definitely be having a lot of fun together for the next few months.
"I'll see you at our next lesson, Professor." He whispered into her ear once she was done, grinning at the shiver that passed through her body.
XXXXX
Luna was reading on the bed when Harry was finished bathing. She looked up at him when he exited the bathroom, blinked, cocked her head and asked a question.
"Who did you have sex with?"
"What makes you think I had sex with anyone?" Harry asked back, bemused.
"You haven't really relaxed since you broke up with Nymphadora, before that even, but you're relaxed now." She informed him factually.
Too damn perceptive. Luna always managed to see right through him.
"It was Professor Vector." If there was anyone that could be trusted to know that it was her.
Luna's smile widened. "I'm so happy for you. I know you've wanted to put your penis in her vagina for a long time now."
"Yes, It was very nice." Harry agreed with a nod. Not so much because Septima had been great in bed, as the Arithmancy prodessor had turned out to be surprisingly submissive and passive, but there was something to be said for fulfilling one's naughty teacher fantasies.
"Are you going to do it again?"
"Oh yes." The sense of power as he bent a woman nearly three decades his senior – a woman that supposedly had authority over him – over her own desk also had quite a bit of appeal, so there would definitely be repeat performances.
"Good, Nymphadora wouldn't have wanted you moping over her."
With their amicable break up, Harry figured that was true. On the other hand, if they had parted on bad terms, she would have wanted him to get buggered by a troll. Dora had a well hidden mean streak that didn't come out to play too often.
XXXXX
Septima Vector was a nervous wreck when the time came for her next Arithmancy lesson with Harry. She half expected him to tear her robes off and take her right there on the floor.
She was ashamed to admit to herself that she was disappointed when he didn't and instead listened attentively as she went over the finer points of setting up a ward properly. He was her student and only fourteen to boot...but the way he had taken her a few days ago and made her 'clean' him afterwards had given her a thrill like nothing she'd ever felt before. She'd never been the type to go for something like that, which was exactly what made it so exciting.
The hours passed with no hint of what had happened between them and a strange feeling of loss grew inside her chest. Nothing so corny as unrequited love, because however good Harry might look, he was far too young for her. She was just...sad to go back to the dull routine of her life.
Their time was nearly up when his hand gripped her leg again and startled her.
"Why so jumpy, Professor?" He asked teasingly.
"Harry, I'm not sure we should be doing this." Septima nearly stammered. His hand was slowly kneading her thigh and thoroughly wrecking her composure.
"Doing what?"
"You know...sleeping together." The last was said in an embarrassed whisper, as if afraid that someone would hear even through the sound proof door.
"Why not?"
"Harry, I'm a teacher. I could be sacked if it got out that I'm sleeping with a student. Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of younger girls out there for you, you don't have to settle for an old woman." The protest felt hollow to her ears, but she felt that she had to make it for the sake of her job. The insecurity was real enough though.
"You're hardly old, I like to think of you as 'sexily mature'." Harry scoffed, still sounding amused.
Septima ducked her head in embarrassment, not really believing him but flattered nonetheless.
"As for you getting sacked...well, like I said the last time, I won't tell anyone if you won't. I thought we could have a bit of fun since we've got this time all to ourselves, but if you don't want to..." He trailed off and made to leave.
Septima grabbed his hand to stop him without even thinking about it. Damnit all, she had spent the past few days practicing how she would firmly tell him that it could never happen again but that had all gone out the window almost as soon as he walked through the door. It had been so long since she'd had anything in her life except teaching bratty and often ungrateful teenagers about Arithmancy and correcting the mistakes in their homework, with any kind of excitement seeming to become more distant with every year.
It was a terrible idea on paper but a naughty affair with her favorite student would break up the monotony and it was simply too tempting to pass up. And it wasn't as if she would be jeopardizing his education since he clearly meant for this to happen after the lessons. It could almost be considered a reward for his hard work really...and for hers.
"No..." She whispered, blood rushing to her face in embarrassment. "Please...I want to."
"That's what I thought." He said with a small smirk and pulled her out of the chair and into his arms. His hand went under her robes and gently cupped her pubic mound, where he discovered something that made his eyebrows shoot towards his hairline. "You shaved. Is that for me?"
Septima flushed even further. She had been embarrassed about how hairy and untended her groin had been the last time and had maybe kind of, sort of secretly been hoping that he wouldn't take no for an answer. She could only keep her eyes fixed on her feet and nod, face ablaze.
"I know just the way to show you how much I appreciate it..."
XXXXX
With his sexual equilibrium – and therefore his ability to think clearly – restored, Harry found that there were quite a few errands that needed to be done which he had been neglecting.
"Alright, we're here." Sirius announced as he, Penny and Harry arrived in front of the Black Vault in Gringotts. "Why are we here?"
"I need something from the vault obviously." Harry replied dryly, waiting as the doors slid open.
"What?" The Marauder asked.
"I'll know it when I see it."
"But you've gotta have some idea of what you're looking for?" Sirius pressed.
"I do." Harry replied.
Sirius waited for his godson to elaborate, but he didn't.
"Alright fine, be that way. Penny, why are you here?"
"Harry wants me along to check if there's anything worth selling down here." Penny explained.
"Ah." Sirius nodded. Who knew that his family's tacky garbage would be worth something to eccentric muggles? It took all kinds he supposed.
"How much have we made from that so far anyway?" Harry asked as they moved into the vault.
"Just under two hundred thousand pounds, but we haven't sold everything yet." She answered promptly.
"Very nice." Harry said admiringly. That was some serious money and it was well out of the reach of the greedy fingers of the goblins. It was currently sitting in a bank account that Penny had opened for exactly that purpose. of course, this meant that the money was technically completely under her control and he wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it if she decided to make off with it, but she had never given him any cause to doubt her integrity. Not to mention that he didn't think that Penny was anywhere near stupid enough to make an enemy out of him by pulling a stunt like that. It would be safe in her keeping until he was a legal adult in the mundane world. It was a better solution than getting his foster parents involved at least.
"Turns out that antique furniture kept in mint condition by spells is in high demand." Penny replied wryly. The people at Christie's had certainly been impressed by it. The original idea of selling it over eBay had turned out to be unworkable because of the figures involved, but furniture and the like was fortunately not scrutinized too closely. Her explanation of representing a noble family that had fallen on hard times and needed to sell things off but also wanted to remain anonymous had been easily accepted. "I'm actually kind of disturbed at how quickly that torture paraphelia we found in the basement sold."
"I hope it ends up in some nutjob's BDSM playroom." Sirius muttered.
"I should not have introduced you to the internet." Harry sighed.
"You shut your whore mouth." Sirius said with a scowl. "The internet is a magical place."
"Uh huh." Was the disinterested reply from his godson, who was already poking through the piles of gold and centuries worth of junk.
Penny and Sirius were left with little to do since it definitely wasn't safe to touch anything if you didn't know what it was and only Harry could tell whether an item was cursed or just enchanted. They busied themselves by casting various detection spells on random stuff, but neither were curse-breakers, so it was more to pass the time on the off chance that they encountered something interesting.
"Huh..." Harry said to himself holding up a thin rapier and squinting at the blade.
"Good choice, it suits your girlish figure." Sirius complimented.
"I was more interested in the spellwork on this thing..." Harry said absently, obviously not really paying attention. "Looks like some kind of Bloodletting Curse that prevents blood from clotting."
"Thinking about bleeding people to death?" Sirius asked.
"Nope, it was just an interesting enchantment." Not only was the blade on the damn thing too long, but it would also be a warm day in the eighth plane of Baator before Harry would use a weapon as emasculating as a rapier.
"So you're looking for dagger?" Sirius asked, seeing that Harry was now examining a collection of shiny implements of murder.
"Pretty much."
"Why didn't you just say so when I asked the first time?" Sirius demanded indignantly.
"Because you'd just blab it to the first pair of tits that asks." Harry shot back mercilessly.
"Are you never going to let that go?" Sirius asked in exasperation. You get seduced by a serial killer once and they never let you forget it.
"No." Harry said petulantly.
"Fine!" Sirius pouted. "So why'd you need a knife?"
"Because my fight with that assassin during the second task would have been a lot simpler if I could have simply stabbed him." Of course, he could have also tried to conjure something to stab him with, but conjuration was a difficult enough feat to pull off even when someone isn't trying to kill you. And he'd also forgotten.
"See anything you like?"
"Hrrrm, maybe..." Harry answered distractedly as he peered at the collection of knives.
A couple were ritual blades which was a big no-no. Those were designed to channel the magic of the stabbed or cut individual and could inadvertently have all sorts of unpredictable effects if used in combat. Certainly not something that could be used for a casual stabbing.
A few others looked promising though.
The wavy kris with some kind of weird animation enchantment that looked as if it was supposed to make the blade move like a serpent was a definite possibility, though it didn't look terribly practical. He didn't want the blade getting away from him.
The rest had more normal straight blades of varying lengths. One was cursed rather heavily and would turn against its wielder, another had the same Bloodletting Curse on it as the rapier, still another looked like it had a Rotting Curse attached to it, very Morgul Blade that one.
"Man, Sirius. Your family was into some nasty shit." Harry said with a shake of his head after he spied a dagger whose only purpose seemed to be drinking in blood through the blade and squirting it out through the eye sockets of the miniature human skull carved into the pommel. What the fuck would you even need that for?
"I know, why'd you think me and Andi ran away? The whole damn family was cracked."
"Andi and I." Harry corrected, knowing it would stick in his godfather's craw.
"Grammar Nazi." Sirius grumbled, using a phrase he had learned from his godson.
"Too bad there's no hammers in here." Harry smirked and turned back to the daggers. "Well hello. And what are you doing under there?"
"What?" Sirius asked, looking to see what had caught his godson's eye.
Harry carefully removed what seemed to be an iron buckler that was cursed to crush its user's forearm and grabbed the hilt of another exotic knife that had been under it.
"Now this, I like." Harry said admiringly, turning over the medium sized kukri.
"What's it do?" Sirius asked curiously.
"It's a knife Sirius, it makes people bleed when you stab or slice them with it." Harry said snidely.
"I know that, smartass." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I mean, what is it enchanted with?"
"Nothing." Harry chirped.
"Nothing?" Sirius repeated.
"Nothing." Harry confirmed.
"I thought you wanted a magical knife?"
"I did, but all the ones here are way over the top and could kill me, take off a finger or even a limb if I nick myself by accident. I'll just enchant this one by myself and be done with it. Nothing too fancy; durability, built in summoning, nasty electric shock or burn to unauthorised users. That kind of thing."
"That makes sense." Sirius had to admit that he hadn't thought of that. He was just glad that his godson was being careful for once.
"Hey, Penny. You done?" Harry called over to the other side of the vault where his steward had been doing her own thing.
"Almost." She yelled back.
"What in the name of Merlin's wrinkly nutsack is that?" Sirius asked, staring at a twisted black octopus looking thing that the former Head Girl had found somewhere.
"That is an antique chandelier."
"Are you sure anyone is going to want to buy that?" Harry asked, staring dubiously at the cast iron monstrosity. It only had a powerful durability enchantment on it, that would be simple enough to remove, but it also looked as if it would need an exorcism to purge the spirit of Cthulhu from it before they could sell it.
"I've noticed a trend that the freakier something looks, the faster it gets sold." Penny explained.
Both Harry and Sirius were still doubtful, but were later forced to put up with her smug looks as it was sold in less than a week.
XXXXX
The kukri thudded into the wood, quite a bit off target. A moment later it was pulled out and returned to Harry's hand.
He threw it again. It hit slightly closer to the target this time. It flew back to his hand and was thrown again, landing very close to the bull's eye this time.
"That was a good one." Luna complimented.
"More luck than skill I'm afraid." Harry said ruefully. Knife throwing wasn't something you picked up in a day. At least the enchantments on it prevented it from hitting hilt first though. "How are you doing?"
He was trying to teach Luna the basics of wandless magic, with limited results so far. He had some trouble figuring out where to start.
"Not good." She pouted. "I just can't get it to move."
"Show me." Harry ordered.
Luna nodded and sat down to stare at the quill she had on the table in front of her. A look of concentration came over her as she tried to make it budge, but it remained stubbornly still.
"See? It's not working."
"You're just trying to will it to move." Harry diagnosed.
Luna cocked her head at him quizzically, obviously asking what else she was supposed to do.
Harry scratched at his chin as he tried to find a way to explain things to his friend.
"Will is good, it's a start and might do something if you're desperate enough, but it'll be uncontrolled and unreliable. You have to make a sort of...mental construct of what you want to happen. I'm sorry, this isn't really helping you, is it?" He sighed.
"Not really." Luna admitted bluntly.
Harry chuckled at her directness, but was inwardly stumped at how to convey his meaning to her. Without an ability to feel magic, all his explanations were just so much hot air.
"Show me one again and walk me through it." She said, looking at him expectantly.
"Alright." He nodded.
Bringing his hands together and focusing on the spell to manifest between them, he began talking her through the process. "First, you need to know what you want to do. The spell I'm casting right now is called Darkness, an Evocation of the Second Circle. It will create a sphere of supernatural shadow that no light can pierce. In order to create it, I have to specify its radius and point of origin or else it would just fizzle out and do nothing. I also need to have a good understanding of the concept of completely lightless dark before I can cast it. I spent over three hours sitting in the Room of Requirement sealed off from every source of light before I managed it. This mental construct of what you want to happen is essentially what a spell is before you put any magic into it. Of course, just willing the world to darken won't do anything. That's where the magic comes in, you have to infuse it into the spell so that you can then superimpose it over physical reality."
With his explanation finished, he cast the spell and the room went pitch black. Harry felt Luna nervously groping for his hand and dismissed it.
"Just throwing magic behind your willpower is more like controlled Accidental Magic." He went on with his explanation, neglecting to mention that he had spent years doing just that or that he still did it when he didn't have time to think. "Accidental Magic...well, it's like throwing a tantrum and having the Universe give in because it doesn't want to listen to your shit anymore. That's why it generally only happens to children or people under extreme emotional duress. It tends to be wild and unpredictable and controlling it is very hard. It will also give you a splitting headache more commonly known as magical exhaustion because you're essentially trying to bully the natural order of the world into submission instead of creating a temporary localized state of altered reality. To summon the quill, all you need to do is imagine a tether connecting it to your hand and triggering it. Remember that the tether itself is not like a rope, but more of a pathway of your own personal reality where the laws of physics do not exist, the only law that exists is that the quill must come to your hand."
Luna nodded thoughtfully and refocused on the quill. Five minutes later it still hadn't budged.
"You're still trying to move it with your will instead of your magic." Harry told her.
"But how am I supposed to use my magic without my wand? I can't feel it." Luna said plaintively.
"A wand is just a focus, a tool that allows you to draw on your magic without needing to really work for it. It is also a crutch that makes your thinking rigid and inflexible if you allow yourself to believe that it's necessary. With how refined they've become and all this wand motion shite that is being peddled these days, people barely need to think in order to cast spells. Overreliance on wands has made wizards dull, stupid and lazy." He lectured sternly.
Luna's face took on the look of a kicked puppy at the frustration that had leaked into his tone towards the end and he rushed to reassure her.
"Sorry, that wasn't aimed at you." He apologized, distantly aware that she had him wrapped around her little finger. "Look, how about we try something else. You form the spell and I'll try to pour magic into it."
"Okay." Luna chirped, happy again. She refocused on the quill and imaged a zig-zaggy path that the quill was supposed to take as it flew towards her hand while Harry settled himself behind her.
"Do you have it? Remember to keep in mind the rule, the quill must come to your hand. There is no gravity to hold it down or air resistance to hold it back, there is only your hand and the quill." Harry whispered into her ear, his chest pressed into her back.
She nodded, never taking her eyes off the piece of stationery.
Harry slowly overlaid his magic on her's, being careful to not think of summoning the quill. Nothing happened, so he continued to extend his magic deeper into her, well past the point where any normal person would have instinctively shut him out.
Luna relaxed against him.
"Keep your focus." He warned, making her jerk a bit as she realized that her concentration had slipped at the sudden wash of comfort. She re-established the zig-zaggy path that she wanted the quill to follow.
A few minutes later, the quill shivered and zipped into Luna's hand in a zig-zag pattern.
"I felt that!" She exclaimed happily.
"That's great, well done." Harry complimented.
"Maybe I'll be able to do the spell myself now." She beamed happily.
"Maybe, I want you to practice tomorrow while I take care of a few errands."
"What kind of errands?"
"Mostly just inviting extra people along for our summer holiday."
"Isn't it rude to invite people to Fleur's home without asking her first?"
"I've decided not to take her up on that, not yet anyway. Besides, she's in her final year in Beauxbatons and we're leaving Hogwarts once this tournament is finished, so nothing is stopping us from going to France after we get back from the Caribbean."
"Okay."
XXXXX
"Harry, I wasn't expecting you." Penny said in surprise when she saw him walk into the living room at Potter Manor.
"Of course not, I didn't tell you I'd be coming." He quipped.
She rolled her eyes at the lame attempt at humor and decided to get to the point. "So, what's up?"
"Three things. First, I need the address where Bryanna and Tiana are currently living." He'd never bothered to ask about that before.
"Planning to pay them a visit?" Penny asked as she wrote it down for him.
"Sort of." He shrugged. "Next, do you still have that list of businesses that are qualified to work with basilisk hide?"
"Of course, it's in my office." She answered, getting slightly confused now.
"Good, I'll probably need that someday soon. Finally, would you like to join Sirius, Luna and me on that private island that he keeps boasting about?"
"I'd love to, Harry, but I already promised my parents that I'd go with them." Penny said regretfully.
"You could invite them to the island instead." Harry shrugged. "I doubt we'll be short on space and I was planning on inviting the girls too in any case. Just don't tell them where the island is, I want to keep that a secret."
Penny's eyes widened at the offer and she quickly accepted. She already knew that her parents would jump on the offer. A free vacation on a private island in the Caribbean would certainly appeal to them a lot more than having to pay quite a lot to go somewhere in Britain, though the secrecy Harry wanted would take some convincing.
XXXXX
I'd never have expected them to be living in a place like this. Harry thought to himself as he walked at a leisurely pace through the town of Arundel in the South Downs of West Sussex, a name that sounded naggingly familiar for some reason. He let it go after ten minutes of fruitlessly trying to recall where he had heard the name before.
Bryanna and Tiana had always struck him as being more of a city-girl sort, so this quaint little place was a bit of a surprise. Still, it may not have been their first choice to live here since Penny had told him that any purchases of real estate had to be done through the Ministry of Magic because they had a list of places where wizards and witches could settle, the controlling bastards. Arundel was only forty-nine miles away from London, so maybe they'd just picked the closest place.
It was a nice looking house they were in though. Located on the outskirts and comfortably big without being overly lavish. The relative remoteness of it probably spawned all sorts of rumors about what four young women might be getting up to, having no apparent jobs and living all by themselves. Come to think of it, seeing a single man going into the house was probably not going to douse those rumors any.
To his mild shock, the house actually seemed to have electrical wiring if the doorbell was any indication. Apparently there were a few people in the Ministry that were actually capable of subtlety. Amazing, he'd been ready to believe that it was staffed almost entirely by inbred morons with drool dribbling from their chins.
"Coming!" Came the muffled yell from inside as he rang the bell.
"Harry?" Bryanna asked in near disbelief, clearly having not expected to see him. Her hair was a bit longer than he remembered it being and she was dressed in a perfectly ordinary hoodie and sweatpants combo. The casual look rather suited her actually.
"Hi." Harry said with a smile. "Mind if I come in?"
"Please." She smiled back and waved him in, taking a surreptitious look outside as she closed the door.
"Problem?" He asked, amused by her behavior.
"Not really." She replied, sounding a bit annoyed nonetheless. "Someone's been spreading weird rumors about us."
"Depraved lesbian group sex?" Harry guessed, biting his lip.
"You only just got here! How can you know about that already?" Bryanna demanded.
"I had a trio of grannies craning their necks after me so much I half expected them to topple from the terrace they were on." Harry explained, trying not to laugh. "I'm sorry, but I think you might become known as some kind of exclusive sex club before five o' clock."
"That's not funny, you arse." She huffed and slapped his arm.
"I could put an Aversion Ward on the house. It would make people think you were the most boring thing this town has seen since paint drying." He offered. That was the easiest ward of all to cast, not even requiring an anchor. It also wouldn't cause enough interference to mess up the electrical wiring of the house.
"Tone it down to just 'not worth spreading rumors about' and it would be perfect." She said with a relieved sigh. "We tried to do it ourselves but we're crap at those and accidentally ended up making it so powerful that people kept getting stuck in conversation loops about whether the house was always there or not and forgetting that we lived in it. But do tell what you're here for first, I get the feeling it isn't a social call."
"It's not." Harry confirmed. "I come bearing a request and an offer."
"Well color me interested." Bryana said flirtatiously. "Come on down to the basement, that's where we've got our workshop."
The stairs down were hidden behind a heavy oak door that was spelled up to the gills with Aversion Charms, both magical and muggle. The basement itself was much larger than the house above it, having dimensions more suitable for a warehouse. It was well lit however, with a set of skylights that illuminated it with faux sunlight. He could tell that it wasn't real sunlight, but it was a pretty good imitation. A specially modified Lumos if he wasn't mistaken.
"Very nice." Harry complimented as she led him through the half-filled space.
"Glad you like it. The skylights cost us almost as much as the space expansion, but it's made it less gloomy down here."
"You're making some interesting stuff." He noted, looking at a rather provocative corset.
"That one is a bit of a pet project of mine." She admitted sheepishly. "I've always liked what corsets do to a girl's figure, but the damn things tend to be either too loose or too tight. I'm trying to see if magic can turn them into something that will stay put but isn't a torture device at the same time."
Harry reached out to touch it and the laces in the back tightened so hard that he could hear the plastic mannequin it was sitting on cracking.
"Self-lacing charm." Bryanna explained lamely. "It's a work in progress."
"Maybe you'll model it for me one day." Harry suggested with a small grin.
"Maybe I will." She flirted.
"Bry, is that you?" Another familiar female voice yelled from in the distance.
"Yeah, it's me." Bryanna hollered back. "And guess what? Harry came to visit us."
Tiana walked into view, also looking far more casual than Harry had ever seen her with her brown curls in a sloppy ponytail.
"Harry, do what do we owe the pleasure?" She purred in greeting.
"I have a request and an offer for you girls." He repeated and then frowned. "But the other two should be here for this too. Where are they?"
"On dates actually. Isabel is still together with her Hogwarts sweetheart and Jade got suckered into going out with one of the local boys." Tiana explained.
"Probably hoping to get invited to the 'orgies'." Bryanna muttered sarcastically.
"And they left you two all alone?" He asked mournfully, secretly probing to see if his own meddling with their souls was to blame. "No dates for the prettier half of the group?"
Bryanna and Tiana laughed, obviously delighted by the compliment. "We work in shifts and they just happen to have this time off. And no, no dates for us. There just hasn't been anyone interesting enough to catch our attention, not that we've had time to look in the first place."
"And we have each other if we get frisky." Tiana added salaciously. "But you know that you're welcome to join us anytime, don't you, Harry?"
"That might actually be relevant for my offer." He admitted.
Their eyebrows shot towards their hairlines and they leaned in with great interest. "Do tell."
"The request first." Harry said. "Penny tells me that you've been dabbling with an attempt to make a sort of robe that can pass as muggle wear at need. I want you to design something like that for me made out of basilisk hide."
Bryanna and Tiana leaned back with stunned expressions. "Harry, we appreciate the vote of confidence but we're not qualified to work with basilisk hide! We'd just ruin it."
"I know, that's why I only want you to design it. I've looked over at the designs the various hide workers are offering and wasn't impressed. Basilisk hide is so rare that nobody has had any to work with in centuries and dragon hide behaves more like bloody iron plates than leather. They just don't have what I'm looking for, which is why I want you to sketch out a robe that could pass as a long coat but that can be closed by something more than buttons when I need it to act as armor."
"Alright, that we can do." They nodded thoughtfully and quickly developed identical devious grins. "You know what that means, Harry?"
"What?" He asked with mild apprehension.
"It means we need to get your measurements, so strip down to your undies and stand on that pedestal over there."
Harry strongly suspected that they didn't need him to be near naked to measure him for an outer garment like that. In fact, he strongly suspected that they didn't need to measure him at all since they wouldn't be the ones making the final product, but he went along with it anyway. Getting goosed for a while by two beautiful women really wasn't such a terrible thing.
"Oh my, Tonks sure is a lucky girl." Tiana muttered, taking in the changes to Harry since the last time she'd seen him naked. He had grown up quite a bit during their final year in Hogwarts, but the past few months had seen him move out of the stage of gangly teenagerhood and into the territory of yummy adult maleness. If he'd looked like this when the plan to seduce him had been hatched, they would've been fighting to jump into bed with him instead of using it as a last resort.
To their surprise, Harry sighed. "It didn't work out between me and Tonks I'm afraid."
"We're sorry to hear that." Bryanna said sympathetically, inwardly already plotting the best way to get him into bed. She and Tiana had a good arrangement going between them and toys could make up for the lack of male sex organs to a considerable extent with magic involved, but that line of hair leading to a tented pair of boxers was looking simply delicious.
"It happens." He shrugged philosophically. "Serves me right for declaring that I want to stay single and then jumping into a serious relationship right afterwards."
"What went wrong?" Tiana asked, writing down values as the enchanted tape measure hovered in the air over his right leg.
"Nothing specific, we just drifted apart." Harry lied.
"Why don't you tell us about this offer you had for us?" Bryanna suggested.
"Sirius' family apparently swiped a whole island for themselves a few hundred years back and we're going to spend at least part of the summer on it. Aside from me, Sirius and Luna, Penny and her folks are also going to be there and I figured that the four of you might enjoy a vacation on a tropical island." He explained, mood picking up quickly.
"A tropical island?" They nearly squeaked, the task of measuring him forgotten for the moment. "Where is this island?"
"That's a secret." He teased.
"Harry!" They whined in protest.
"Seriously though, it really is a secret. I'd be willing to let Isabel bring that boyfriend of hers, but Jade's muggle boytoy is out of the question. We'd get there by portkey and you wouldn't be allowed to go too far away from the island, but other than that it would be weeks or even a whole month of sun, sand and sea with house elf service included."
Harry frowned at the end of his explanation and looked at the mess around him thoughtfully. "Speaking of house elves, would you like to borrow mine? I've wanted to do something nice for them for a while and the only thing they ever seem to want is more work, so it would be perfect for everybody."
Both girls had just been thinking that the secrecy was a small price to pay in exchange for vacationing on a tropical island with Harry while being pampered by his house elves, but then he just had to offer to remove all need for cleaning and cooking from their home.
Tiana snapped the tape measure together with a note of finality. "I'm sorry if you were hoping to be done with this quickly, Harry, but you're not. Drop the underwear."
Harry looked at her with a raised eyebrow, seeing Bryanna nodding in agreement out of the corner of his eye. There was really only one thing to say to that.
"Well if you insist..."
XXXXX
Meanwhile in Hogwarts...
Fleur was a bit bemused as she was led by the hand towards Harry's personal quarters by Luna.
Harry had pulled another one of his disappearing acts today. She'd been keeping an eye out for him and hadn't seen hide nor hair of him. Even Luna had been notably absent all the way until lunch.
She was well aware that the rumor mill was of the opinion that the two of them were having sex and took these disappearances as 'proof', but Fleur knew better. Those two wouldn't be getting sticky together until the promise Luna made to her deceased father expired. She personally thought that it was stupid of the man to impose his worries on the girl, especially with the sort of liberal relationship he'd had with his wife, but would never say it out loud. It was rude to speak ill of the dead.
Still, even if Harry wasn't having sex with the quirky blond, he was cleary doing it with someone. The way that the tension was suddenly absent from him was proof enough of that. The problem was that this someone wasn't her and that seriously burned the veela's pride. She'd all but thrown her panties at him and then he went to someone else. Most men would kill to get this kind of attention from her, but no, not Harry Potter. If she wasn't sure that he would eventually be worth all this bother she would've written him off as either gay or stupid already.
She also had the feeling that he had been avoiding her lately and she didn't know why, but she was determined to get to the bottom of it.
Of course, that would require actually finding him, which had proved problematic. But Luna had showed up to eat lunch in the Great Hall and Fleur hadn't wasted any time in asking the smaller blonde for a private conversation, which was how she found herself being led by the hand.
When they finally reached the room on the sixth floor, it was not what Fleur expected. People tended to imprint their personality into their living space over time by means of various decorations or the clutter they left lying around. There were a few hints of Luna lying around, but it was otherwise completely bare. No artwork, no tapestries, no knick-knacks...even the bookshelves and desk were empty. It looked like Harry was living out of his luggage.
"What did you want to talk about?" Luna asked as she plopped herself on the bed, which was one of the few splashes of color in the room.
....