Chapter 57: SPRING AUTUMN RIZZ WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!
🔥 TIE XUE LENG'S ULTIMATE MOVE (IT'S GIVING "ANIME FINAL BOSS TRANSFORMATION")
Oil Dragon + Fire Dragon Combo: "Get cooked, snake." (Blood River Python malding)
Giant Mountain Puppet Gu: 18-meter tall rock gigachad with dragon arm tattoos
Left Arm: Oil Dragon (Slippery rizz)
Right Arm: Fire Dragon (Sigma grindset)
Vibe: "I didn't come here to negotiate."
Blood River Python: "Fine. I'll just dive." (Heals in blood pond like a toxic player respawning)
🧛 FIRST GEN'S GRAND ENTRANCE (IT'S GIVING "VAMPIRE TWITTER CEO")
Blood Coffin: Rises from the whirlpool like a metal concert stage
First Gen's Reveal:
Skinless 💀
Red muscle strips 🩸
Voice from abdomen (No mouth? No problem.)
Dialogue: "Thou dare provoke me? Perish." (💀 Shakespearean demon vibes)
Fang Yuan: "Oh. So the clan founder is a zombie. Cool." (Immediately dips into tunnel)
🧟 BLOOD WIGHT GU LORE (IT'S GIVING "IMMORTALITY BUT MAKE IT CURSED")
Five Great Flying Zombies:
Blood Wight (First Gen's pick)
Asura Zombie (Warrior sigma)
Heavenly Demon Zombie (Cultivation hacker)
Nightmare Zombie (Sleep paralysis demon)
Plague Zombie (Walking Ohio outbreak)
First Gen's Grindset:
Couldn't find Lifespan Gu?
"Fine. I'll just become undead."
Sigma Rule #69420: "Death is a skill issue."
⚔️ BATTLE STATUS:
Tie Xue Leng:
Giant Mountain Puppet (Cracking under python squeeze)
Old injury acting up (💀 Timing worse than a Twitch streamer's internet)
First Gen:
Blood Wight buffs activated
Vibe: "I've waited 1000 years to clap a divine investigator."
Fang Yuan:
Escaped into tunnel (🚨 Plot armor engaged)
Current thought: "Hope this leads to loot and not more trauma."
SPRING AUTUMN RIZZ'S BETRAYAL ARC?
Blood Bat Swarm: "We ride at dawn." (1000+ Rank 3 bats)
Blood Guillotine Gu: "I'm just here to vibe check." (Rank 5, instant decapitation)
First Gen's Taunt: "Thou hast an injury. Cope."
Tie Xue Leng's Response:
Heaven Earth Magnificent Sound Gu: "SCREEEEEECH—" (💀 Earrape attack)
Effect:
Blood bats fall like flies
Blood lake turns into a bowl (Physics? Never heard of her.)
Fang Yuan's eardrums: "We're out."
Blood Bats Chasing Him: "Free meal! Free meal!"
Fang Yuan: "Spring Autumn Rizz, save me—"
Spring Autumn Rizz: "New update dropped. No. Fuck you." (🚨 Refuses to leave aperture)
Fang Yuan's Realization:
"Oh. It's like the Water Curtain Skyflower Gu—once refined, it never leaves."
"My trump card is now a permanent tenant??" (💀 Rent-free)
⚔️ BATTLE STATUS:
First Gen Gu Yue:
Blood Wight buffs active
Vibe: "I've waited 1000 years to clap a divine investigator."
Weakness: "No primeval recovery. Skill issue."
Tie Xue Leng:
Giant Mountain Puppet (Holding strong)
Heaven Earth Magnificent Sound Gu (Cooldown: 5 business days)
Injury: "It's just a flesh wound." (Copium)
Fang Yuan:
Running like a Roblox noob
Sky Canopy Gu at 10% durability
Thoughts: "If I die here, I'm respawning as a meme."
🌄 ABOVE GROUND: THREE-CLAN PRELIMINARIES (IT'S GIVING "HUNGER GAMES BUT WITH GU")
Xiong Clan: "We have numbers." (Most participants)
Bai Clan: "We have Bai Ning Bing." (Sigma carry)
Gu Yue Clan: "We have copium." (Fang Yuan missing)
Rules:
Collect 30 tokens (Battle royale style)
No life/death restrictions (💀 Ohio ruleset)
Bai Ning Bing's Energy: "Finally, worthy opponents."
WATER CURTAIN GYATT-FLOWER GU EXPLANATION
The Water Curtain Skyflower Gu was a Rank 4 Gu, and once activated, it turned into a giant water orb shield. It could tank Rank 5 attacks, but the catch? You're STUCK inside. No in, no out. Just you, all nonchalant, while the world outside malds.
Fang Yuan, however, was NOT familiar with the Spring Autumn Rizz's new glow-down.
In his past life, he got ratioed by the righteous path right after refining it—NO TIME TO TEST ITS NEW FEATURES. Plus, it wasn't even his main Gu back then, so its hidden passive (💀 perma-stay in aperture 💀) never popped up.
Now? BRO'S IN TROUBLE.
The Spring Autumn Rizz was TOO MYSTERIOUS—no guides, no Wiki, just vibes. And since Rank 6+ Gu are one-of-a-kind, if you wanna refine one, you gotta wait for the OG to die first (otherwise, 100% FAIL).
So Fang Yuan was just now finding out about this glitch.
REBIRTH = HARD MODE SPEEDRUN (NO SAVESCUMS ALLOWED)
Fang Yuan clenched his jaw. "Rebirth is LIT… but this Rizzler is CRACKED."
Having the Spring Autumn Rizz was like having half a Ten Extreme Aptitude—COOL, but your aperture is on a TIMER. The Cicada's recovery speed was OUTSCALING his cultivation, meaning SOONER OR LATER—BOOM.
"If I can't YEET this Rizzler out… do I HAVE to rebirth again?" Fang Yuan's frown deepened.
Rebirth = Reset.
Rizzler goes back to weak state.
Fang Yuan escapes danger.
SEEMS LIKE A W… BUT NAH.
PROBLEMS (TOO MANY TO COUNT):
Rebirth success rate? 🎲 Rolls dice "Prayge."
Last time, he only brought back his rizz (memories).
Current body? WEAK. Self-detonation force? MID.
Spring Autumn Rizz rn? LEAKY BOAT.
"If I try to rebirth now, my consciousness might get DELETED by the time river," Fang Yuan realized. "Gotta stall… let the Rizzler recover MORE, upgrade my cultivation for BIGGER BOOM."
STONE APERTURE GU ACTIVATE (FANG YUAN'S DESPERATE PLAY)
The blood bats were closing in, but Fang Yuan was locked in his aperture.
Yellow-green light flooded the space—Rizzler's aura was FLEXING too hard. The aperture walls? CRACKING. All other Gu? SUBMERGED in the primeval sea, COWERING.
Except ONE.
A gray dice-like Gu rose from the depths—Stone Aperture Gu.
"Time to COOK."
Fang Yuan WILLED IT— the Gu EXPLODED into gray smoke, coating his aperture walls. The light membrane thickened, turning STONE-COLD.
INSTANT UPGRADE:
Rank 3 Initial Stage → Rank 3 PEAK Stage.
Light Silver Primeval Essence → Snow Silver Primeval Essence.
Aperture durability? 📈📈📈
"Bai Ning Bing was gonna use this to cope with his Northern Dark Ice Soul… but Ten Extreme diff is TOO REAL."
BLOOD BAT RAID BOSS (FANG YUAN'S 1v100)
The bladewing blood bats SWARMED.
Fang Yuan pulled out the Chainsaw Golden Centipede and went "TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR" on their asses.
Narrow tunnel = NO SURROUND DIFF.
Sky Canopy Gu = IMMORTAL SHIELD.
Chainsaw Golden Centipede = MEAT GRINDER.
But primeval essence? DRAINING FAST.
Luckily, Fang Yuan had the HEAVENLY ESSENCE TREASURE LOTUS (aka "Portable Primeval Stone Printer").
This Grass Gu was cooked up by Immortal Venerable Genesis Lotus (the OG primeval recovery gigachad). It passively generated primeval essence, letting Fang Yuan FIGHT FOREVER.
"THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T SKIP SIDE QUESTS."
SIGMA MALE MOVE: ASSASSINATE THE SIMP BAT
Fang Yuan pretended to retreat, then SUDDENLY REVERSED, blitzing the male bat hiding in the back.
"NO HANDSHAKES, JUST HANDS OFF."
The Chainsaw Golden Centipede OBLITERATED the male bat.
EFFECT:
Whole bat group? SCATTERED.
Fang Yuan? STILL STANDING.
"NPCs when the MC outplays them:" 🤡🤡🤡