Negotiations with Google's two founders were a letdown.
I put my best foot forward, laying out my vision for future business plans to Larry Page and Sergey Brin. Sure, one's a tech company and the other's in entertainment, but they'd totally complement each other—perfect synergy, right? I even pulled some strings and invited all of Google's employees to a VIP screening of *Star Wars* at Twentieth Century Fox's private theater.
But genius is genius. Even though Larry's younger than me, he wouldn't budge an inch when it came to his own interests. The most he'd offer was 10% of Google's shares. The other 10%? They'd raise it from Wall Street investment banks.
You can imagine what happens next—once they pocket that $25 million, with Google's strength, they won't need another dime. They'll just coast straight to an IPO. Which means, until then, I'm stuck with just 10% of the company.
This was a far cry from what I'd learned about online. Real life's different—no one's the main character, and no one's a fool.
My push into the tech world wasn't going smoothly, but lucky for me, I'm a director. When it comes to movies… I'm untouchable.
My new film, *Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace*, hit North American theaters on May 19th. And then… it blew up!
May 19th was a Wednesday—a workday. According to *The Wall Street Journal*, over 2.2 million full-time employees across the U.S. called in sick with all sorts of excuses just to catch the movie. That little stunt cost the economy at least $300 million! Ticket scalpers were flipping seats for $100 a pop.
That day, 3,025 theaters across the U.S. screened the film, raking in a jaw-dropping $33.79 million in a single day—a workday record! The *Star Wars* fever spread like wildfire across North America.
Critics jumped on the hype train too, fanning the flames and sending the movie sky-high.
*The Chicago Sun-Times* gushed, "The director's wild imagination has pulled off something incredible in this film. It's jaw-dropping—podracing, lightsaber duels, space battles, armored car chases, and that epic showdown outside the city. These scenes stick with you!"
*TV Guide* kept it cool and said, "The first 90 minutes feel like a kids' movie for overgrown children. But the last 40 minutes? That's where the depth and humanity shine through. Strip away the dazzling visuals, and those final 40 minutes are Oscar-worthy."
*The Los Angeles Times* was a bit snarky: "The visuals are stunning, but dramatically? It's dull and boring. The last 40 minutes perk things up and catch your eye, but overall, it's a meh vibe."
*The New York Times* couldn't stop raving: "This movie keeps the series' signature awe factor alive. The director's personal flair in the cinematography adds such a cool touch. Natalie tearing through the streets in an armored car, racing robots—that's a scene future films will copy. And the epic robot-Gungan battle outside the city? Textbook historical filmmaking."
Even artsy mags like *The New Yorker*, *The New Republic*, and *The Village Voice* chimed in with their takes on this cinematic masterpiece.
Overall? The reviews were pretty darn solid!
Thursday's box office: $19.86 million.
Friday: $890,000.
Saturday: $30.73 million.
Sunday: $25.07 million.
The opening week crushed records, blowing past *Jurassic Park* and *Titanic* with a whopping $133 million! A new Hollywood benchmark!
Word of mouth from fans kept the momentum going, and even before summer officially kicked off, *Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace* had North America buzzing.
…
On a warm afternoon, I was lounging by the pool in the backyard, soaking up the sun on a comfy chair. Flanking me were two bikini-clad beauties—Jessica Alba and Naomi Watts.
Nicole Kidman, with her big name and high status, always pushed back against my wilder requests. But Jessica and Naomi? They're not famous yet, so they're happy to go along with whatever I say.
Truth is, the first day Jessica moved in, I scooped her up and carried her into Naomi's bedroom. Nicole flipped out, calling me reckless and threatening to move out. I smoothed things over by promising her a shot at an artsy, award-worthy film later this year once the cash rolls in. That shut her up, and she let my antics slide.
"Sweetie, Nicole and Jessica are both prepping for movies. What about me?" Naomi asked casually, peeling a grape and popping it into my mouth.
I'd been half-dozing in the sun, enjoying the moment, but her question snapped me awake. I mulled it over.
It's a tricky spot. My company doesn't have the funds to bankroll a film for Naomi right now, and I don't want to waste favors getting her some random, shaky role.
"No rush," I said. "How about a supporting part in *Spider-Man*? You could play Spider-Man's teacher."
I suddenly missed that "Contract Steal" skill from my old system. If I still had a spare use, I could just snag a lead role for Naomi, no sweat. Disney, Warner—any blockbuster part would be mine for the taking.
Back in the day, the newbie gift pack gave me two free "Contract Steal" uses. That's how I nabbed the director gigs for *Titanic* and *Star Wars: Episode I*. Those wins cemented me as a top-tier Hollywood director.
Problem is, unlocking that skill again is tough now. One Oscar equals one use. And my age? That's the biggest roadblock between me and an Oscar.
"What to do?" I muttered to myself, coming up blank. I've only got two skills—"Mirror Possession" and "Contract Steal"—and they're both clutch. I need to keep them in reserve to feel secure.
Just then, Nicole Kidman climbed out of the pool in a smoking-hot bikini. She flicked her golden hair, sending water droplets flying like shimmering pearls in the sunlight. She looked flawless.
I couldn't help but stare, swallowing hard.
She rolled her eyes at me, tossing her hair with pride and showing off her killer figure. "You said you're prepping an artsy film for me. Did you write the script?"
I was still distracted by her body, barely focusing. "No, why?"
"I want to check it out. Spend some time digging into the role. I can't afford another Oscar miss, right?"
"Yeah, fair point. Go take a look—it's adapted from a book, *A Beautiful Mind*. You're the lead."
"Cool, I'll read it a few times later," she said with a smirk, clearly pleased. She shot me a flirty look, but I could tell she was annoyed I'd zoned out.
"What, my body's not hot enough for you?" she huffed.
She strutted over, ready to pinch my side, but then she caught the spark in my eyes. I lit up, practically shouting, "Haha, yes! The script! I can write scripts! There's no age limit on a screenplay award, right?"
"Uh, what?"
All three women blinked at me, totally lost.
I burst out laughing, scooped Nicole up in my arms, and grinned. "Good job—you've earned a reward! Let's head inside!"
"Get lost! I don't need your 'reward'!" Nicole kicked her legs, half-protesting, half-teasing.
Jessica and Naomi exchanged looks, chuckling helplessly.
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