Chapter 61: Physically Alive, Socially Dead
"Damn it!"
In a remote cave somewhere in the Land of Rain, the rain outside pattered steadily, but Uchiha Obito's heart was on fire.
Staring at the wanted poster in his hand — the one with his own face on it (although slightly inaccurate) — his mind buzzed.
He had long expected this to happen, but now that it actually did, he couldn't hold it together. Especially...
"Kakuzu is eyeing my bounty?!"
"There's actually been some internal discussion in the organization about whether we should just eliminate you."
Black Zetsu stood nearby, expressionless.
"Especially Uchiha Itachi. He was surprised to learn of your existence and has started to question your identity. Thankfully, Konoha didn't release too many details."
"Konoha probably didn't want to embarrass themselves — after all, I did kill the Fourth Hokage."
Obito sneered. And he wasn't wrong. Konoha had kept his list of 'accomplishments' quiet.
The notice only marked him as "Extremely Dangerous," with a powerful Sharingan, and a very generous bounty.
But that was enough to stir up bounty hunters from all over. And the Sharingan? That caught the attention of every major village.
"Hey, hey, hey, Obito—you're basically famous in the ninja world now!"
White Zetsu chuckled with one half of his face.
"That bounty is huge! You should've seen Kakuzu's eyes light up when he saw it — they were practically glowing green!"
"His eyes are already green, you idiot..." Black Zetsu cut in, annoyed.
"So, what now? Did you get rid of that Flying Thunder God mark?"
"I dealt with it."
Obito's tone was icy. "Didn't expect Minato to still cause me trouble after death... but that's over now."
When it came to Namikaze Minato, Obito's emotions were complicated.
Maybe he resented him for being late that night. Maybe he hated that Minato hadn't recognized him back then — mistaking him for Madara.
But all of that was in the past. Now, he was Madara.
"As for what's next — focus on strengthening the Akatsuki. We need more manpower. Also, send someone to Water Country. I want to know what's really going on over there."
"Agreed. We're short-handed," Black Zetsu nodded. "Besides, the Three-Tails and Six-Tails are still in that region. I'll assign Itachi's team. Kisame is familiar with Kirigakure."
Obito nodded. That also meant Itachi would be too busy to snoop around him — a win-win.
"Who's the new recruit?"
"Some cultist, from what I've heard. Not sure of the details, but apparently, they've got some... spiritual immortality going on. Can't die."
Black Zetsu didn't hide anything.
"A cult? Immortality?"
Obito raised a brow. This piqued his curiosity — he wanted to see what "can't die" really looked like. Then again, with the new world he planned to create, immortality wouldn't matter.
"I'll keep an eye on it."
"By the way — who went to recruit him?"
"Oh, I know!" White Zetsu cut in before Black Zetsu could reply. "It's the same guy whose eyes sparkled green at your bounty—Kakuzu!"
"Kakuzu..." Obito's gaze shifted, and Black Zetsu suddenly regretted sharing a body with a loudmouth.
---
Meanwhile, in Konoha...
"Hey hey hey, Sasuke, why are you still embarrassed?"
In the morning streets of Konoha, Naruto grinned smugly at Sasuke, while Kitagawa Gen trailed sleepily behind them.
"Shut up, you idiot!"
Sasuke shot Naruto a death glare. He couldn't believe how this guy wasn't even fazed after what happened last night — and was even proud of it?
If not for the fact that they'd been forced to share accommodations, Sasuke would've pretended not to know Naruto by now.
He winced remembering last night — when Naruto used his "Sexy Jutsu"... just as a group of shinobi walked in.
That awkward silence, that frozen moment — Sasuke wanted to smash his head into a wall.
"Alright, alright. It's not that big a deal. Besides, Jiraiya-sensei promised to train you guys now, didn't he?" Gen yawned as he spoke. Naruto nodded eagerly.
"Exactly! That jutsu was created to win the attention of that pervy sage."
"Senpai, I remember you laughing pretty hard last night," Sasuke muttered, teeth clenched. He might have gained a mentor, but Naruto's thick skin was unmatched.
Then again... so was this senior of theirs.
"You're mistaken," Gen replied solemnly. "I'm a trained ninja. Even if something's funny, I don't laugh."
His straight face looked totally convincing — except Naruto was now giving him the side-eye. He remembered hearing someone snickering in the corner...
Suddenly, Naruto didn't feel so triumphant either.
"Hey, Gen-senpai... have you ever experienced something super embarrassing?"
Sasuke asked the question half-seriously, trying to recover his pride.
"Hmm... not really."
Gen scratched his chin and thought for a moment...
Or had he?
His face suddenly stiffened.
He did remember something.
Thirteen or fourteen years ago, just before he died and reincarnated here — he definitely didn't have time to wipe his phone.
And his browser history... and that one very poorly hidden folder...
Yeah.
He now understood the phrase: "Can't die physically, but socially? Already dead."
If anyone had found that stuff... oh man.
He clenched his fist just thinking about it.
---
"Gen, there you are."
Just as he was considering whether to teach these two brats the meaning of "iron-fisted ninja discipline," a familiar voice called out.
It was Kakashi — casually reading Icha Icha Paradise as always, although he did glance at Naruto with a look that clearly recalled last night's trauma.
"Kakashi-sensei!"
Gen straightened up. "You two head to the academy — I've got other matters to handle."
"Another mission?"
The two younger boys looked at him with sparkling eyes. So much envy.
"Nope, just some small business. I'll see you guys later."
Gen waved and jogged over to Kakashi.
Not a mission. Something else entirely...
"Man, dragging me out this early just to pick up some paperwork... don't these people sleep?"
He muttered under his breath, but honestly, it was good to get this out of the way.
He had a lot on his plate — like mastering Ice Release, and finally diving into that Yin-Yang technique data he'd stolen from Obito.
Time to get serious.