I paused my thoughts for a couple of seconds, attempting to recognize him.
"Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce my—uh, I mean… The Curator for the first round: FullMetal, The Divine Slayer!"
She kissed him on the cheek—though I ignored the reaction that followed.
Didn't I just say he seemed familiar? No. Definitely way beyond that.
If memory serves it correctly, there was once a gamer with the exact same name.
Known across the Valve Scream platform for his razor-sharp critiques in game reviews section, especially when it came to game mechanics and monetization.
His insights were brutal, but his skills? Unquestionably top-tier.
That was insane, despite claiming he only got to play once a week. I'd heard him recount stories in Virtual Heroes open lobbies—balancing a soul-crushing day job, then rushing home to dive into the game world just to escape, away from reality.
But if I remember it well, that was eight months ago.
He vanished off the grid ever since a certain game studio... no many of them cancelled him on Tweeter for exposing their shady backend operations with their released games. Ironically, that only cemented his title—The Divine Slayer—as a legend.
And now… out of all places, he's here. Right here in this filthy twisted game.
Every player froze, like they'd just heard a long-dead franchise was getting a remake. The legend had returned to the stage—and with it, all the weight of his mythos.
"Okay, I'm sure most of you already know who he is! And of course, his incredible contributions will always be remembe—"
SMACK!
"OWWW~ That actually hurt, you know!" the mischievous little demon whined, rubbing her head where FullMetal had just flicked it.
But instead of speaking, a reply appeared on the screen in cold, blinking text. It was accompanied by the soft beep-beep-beep of someone typing on an old phone.
[I TOLD YOU—CUT THE DRAMATICS. I'M JUST SOME GUY. AND STOP SAYING IT AS IF I ALREADY DIED. NOT FUNNY.]
"Yes yes, my darling... You disappeared, so we all thought you were dead. Let's just say you resurrected—like a god you are, The Divine Slayer."
Akuma clung onto FullMetal like a cat wrapping itself around a warm laptop. I squinted. Was he seriously messaging her from the screen?
[UH, ARE YOU PLAYERS SURPRISED? SORRY GUYS. I GET A BIT ANXIOUS WHEN TALKING OUT LOUD LOL XD]
"Hey, what the heck? Messaging them instead of me? Priorities, babe."
Emojis. 'LOL.' That damn XD face.
Was he always this weird? But then again, maybe he always had been.
Oddly enough, the look suited him—a sleek, dark mafia-style suit that matched his cold digital presence. FullMetal didn't just wear mystery like a mask. He was the mask.
The flirty banter? It didn't feel random. Something told me this was all scripted—or maybe just second nature to them. The chemistry between Akuma and FullMetal was teasing, mischievous, and strangely... magnetic.
Or maybe I was daydreaming of what meant to be impossible again.
Who knows.
"Aww, come on. You better apologize, say sorry to me. You hit my head—what if I forget on how to be cute in front of you?" Akuma pouted.
FullMetal didn't respond with words. Just a gentle pat on her head.
"Kya~ now I'm double in love with you!" she squealed, kissing his mask right where his mouth would've been.
This was getting out of hand—like, terminal-level of cringe. But maybe that was the point. A parody of a romantic anime, scripted to be ridiculous. Velvet, one of the other players, stared at the ground like her soul had left the server. Her lips moved in silent prayer, though I had a sneaking suspicion she was just cursing under her breath.
Oh, and speaking of which... we were past the deadline for Round One.
But then—
All of a sudden, right on cue, a notification popped up:
[ROUND ONE WILL BEGIN SHORTLY. PLEASE BE PATIENT.]
…Spoke too soon, didn't ya?
So, what now? A delay?
Maybe. But wne thing was certain: the round hadn't started yet.
Meanwhile, Akuma was still busy being clingy, all wholesome and flirtatious—whether she was AI or not, her neediness for love was unmatched.
Questions kept buzzing in my head. None of this made sense.
This game—if you could even call it that—was built on absurdity.
"Okay, okay! Sorry to keep everyone waiting! I just got a little nervous, hehehe~"
[DON'T DO THAT AGAIN. I ALMOST BACKED OUT. BESIDES, I'M SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THE RULES AND THE THEME FOR ROUND ONE.]
"All right all right! I'm sorry, okay? But… aren't you going to explain your role as curator, too?"
[THAT'S YOUR JOB. I ONLY DESIGNED THE RULES AND THEME FOR THIS ROUND.]
"Fine, fine! Then I will explain your important role, thank you very much."
[AND PLEASE—STOP SAYING 'HIS CONTRIBUTIONS.' IT MAKES ME SOUND DEAD.]
"Okay, okay, just zip it for a sec—I need to finish this, shake my head."
FullMetal nodded quietly and ran his fingers through Akuma's hair. She leaned into it like a cat basking in sunlight.
"Right, where were we? Oh—yes. This man here is the one managing the entire game from behind the scenes. Cybersecurity. Operational stability. System integrity. All of it? It's his doings."
[AND THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU KEEP BREAKING STUFF.]
"Yes, I know, I break everything. You don't have to remind me, sweetheart. Now hush."
Another silent nod from FullMetal.
"Anyway! If you were wondering where he's been all this time—it's here. He's been here, working in the shadows. Securing the servers, fixing bugs, preparing this entire game for you. And as many of you probably know, FullMetal is a legendary curator: sharp, honest, no-nonsense. Honestly, that's why I fell for him~!"
[STOP GETTING EMOTIONAL. I PICKED YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TOLERATE ME. :)]
"OH, shut the fuck up! And stop using that creepy smile emoji! Are you trying to sound smug, huh?!"
The two of them bickered like they were the only ones in the room.
Annoying? Definitely. But kind of funny, too.
Like watching a romcom unfold in real-time—over-the-top flirting, sarcastic one-liners, questionable boundaries. The rest of the players just stood there, caught in a strange limbo. Some looked amused. Others… deeply, spiritually and viscerally confused.
And then, finally—
"Well, I guess that wraps up my part. Now I'll hand it over to my one and only, FullMetal. Take it away, darling. Explain the game mechanics and rules for Round One."
She tried to sound serious for once, though somehow… I liked this version of her better.
[THANK YOU, AKUMA. NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY—LET ME EXPLAIN THE RULES FOR ROUND ONE.]