SARAH
What Rick had said has been very shocking for Sarah, as for everyone else. The fact that Rick kept it a secret was not right, not at all. She understood that he wanted to protect them, but keeping them in the dark was not the right solution for anyone.
"I can't believe it," Glenn muttered. Sarah knew what he felt, but now it was useless to talk about it; they had to make sure to build a safe camp.
"A'right," Daryl whispered, before looking at every one of them, "Imma take some wood for the fire. Sarah," he turned to her, "Do that thin' Rick asked you to," she nodded her head.
"Don't go alone," she said to him, who observed her for a moment, biting his lips before looking at Glenn.
"Ya come with me?" he asked and Glenn agreed after he took a deep breath.
"Me, Maggie, and T-Dog will keep the guard," Hershel said, holding his rifle closer.
"I'll look at the kids," Carol said, putting a hand on Carl's shoulder.
They were all divided to do what they were supposed to. As she walked towards the wall, Sarah observed her sister. She seemed deep in thought and nervous. She must have been very scared.
"Nicolette," she said, stopping by her sister, who looked at her quietly, "Do you wanna help me with the rope?"
"Alright," Nicki said almost whispering. She was really shaken up; her expression was almost impossible to see, but her fingers were moving, and her skin was paler. Something was bothering her mind more than usual.
"T, could you help me?" Sarah said catching the man's attention, who nodded, "I need to move the cars," she said, "I want to block the entrance facing the road. We stop them diagonally," she pointed, explaining her idea, "The backs attached to the walls, the fronts touching to each other. At least they don't jump."
"Gotcha," he said, "I take the red, you the green," Sarah nodded. They took little time. Beth had helped T-Dog with his car, and Nicki had helped Sarah. At least the front was secured. Then she brought Nicolette to the back. The roop that she had brought with her was long enough to touch it around different trees. She could not close the entrance, but she could create a sort of fence to defend a side. The other was open, but they needed an escape route if they needed to.
"You wanted to talk to me, right?" Nicki asked as Sarah was securing the rope around a tree most close to the little river they had at the back.
"It depends if you wanna talk," she answered, knowing perfectly well that if Nicki didn't wanted to speak, she wouldn't have.
As she was making a solid knot, Sarah glanced at her sister, noticing her eyes fixed on Carl. She was overthinking a lot; Sarah could almost see her brain at work, but she said nothing. She waited patiently for her sister to open up. And in the end, she did.
"There's something I keep thinking," Nicki said, making a step towards her sister, who looked up at her, giving her her full attention, "Why did Shane stage all of that? With Randall?"
That was a good question. A question that Sarah had thought too.
"Daryl said that Shane and Randall were together... where they found the body," Sarah said thinking back at what Daryl had said in the house.
"He didn't follow him?" Nicki asked and Sarah shook her head. Her sister's eyes were fixed on the ground. Sarah didn't blame her. She was sad that Shane had died, but what he did to Randall had been terrible and unjustified.
"Me and Carl saw Shane's body," at her sister's words, Sarah let the rope go to turn to look at Nicki, "When we got there, he turned..." she kept explaining, "Carl was the one who put him down," Sarah let out a shaky breath. Those poor children had seen something terrible, another friend died and then turned into a walker. Sarah's eyes moved briefly in Carl's direction. He was so young...
"He wasn't bit," Nicki kept saying after a moment of silence, "He was just dead, and Rick never told us how it happened..." Sarah observed her sister.
"What do you think?" Sarah asked getting closer to Nicki. The girl looked at her for a moment, before letting out a breath.
"What if he attacked Rick?" she asked finally. Sarah's breath stopped in her throat. Would he really do something like that? For what? The leadership? Lori?
But they were friends...
"Oh god," Sarah muttered.
"Why did he go crazy?" Nicolette asked after some moments of silence, making Sarah observe her with pain in her gaze, "He wasn't like that..."
"If he did," Sarah said trying to keep her voice stady, "Maybe... all of this, with all we are living..."
"Can someone change that much?" Nicki asked, her voice betraying her; for the first time, Sarah could hear them speak with worry, "He protected us, he was gentle, and then..." She was speaking the truth; everyone had noticed the change in his behavior, and the change had been quite abrupt and undeniable.
"Can someone else change?" Nicki asked.
"No, Nicki," Sarah said making a step towards her sister.
"That's a lie," she said looking at her sister, "You know it is..."
"These people are our friends, Nicki, you know that," Nicki nodded her head.
"I know," she said, her voice shaky, "But what if it happens? What should we do? What should I do?" Sarah pulled her sister into her arms. It broke her heart to see her like that, so scared, and some tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I couldn't even shoot an arrow at him," she kept saying as she hugged Sarah back.
"He was your friend, Nicki," she said rubbing her back, "Shooting him wasn't something easy to do."
" But I can't freeze if something like that happens," Nicki answered, breaking the hug, "I can't do that," and without waiting for an answer, her sister turned to move back towards the others.
That wasn't what Nicolette should have worried about, she was so young. She should have talked about TV series, music, or boys, not weapons and putting down friends who became walkers.
"Hey..." Daryl's voice made her turn, and as she saw him, Sarah quickly dried her tears.
"Hey," she said as she heard him walk closer. He had gone to search for some wood for the fire.
"Ya alright?" He asked. His eyes were on her. Sarah bit her lips, shaking her head.
"Nicki saw Shane turn," she explained, "She... felt bad because she couldn't put him down," Sarah dried more of her tears, "She is scared, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared too and I don't know..."
"Hey," he whispered getting closer to her, "It's gonna be alright," he said again, making her look up at him.
"This sounds like a promise," she said.
Daryl observed her for a moment, biting his lip, before nodding his head, "It is."
Sarah didn't know what to say, but she hoped that he knew that his words meant a lot to her.
She moved one of her hands to touch his, "Thank you," she said forcing a little smile. Daryl's eyes moved to their hands, before looking at her again.
"You need help?" She asked, but he shook his head.
"Nah, I'm good," he answered with a low voice before waiting for Sarah to set up the rope, and then they both went back to the others.
T-Dog was keeping guard while Carl and Lori sat near the fire that Daryl was staring at. Hershel was hugging Beth as Maggie and Glenn sat next to each other. Nicki was sitting a little further from them, her back laid against the wall, while Carol sat next to Daryl, on the other side from where Sarah was.
"We're not safe with him, keeping something like that from us," Carol said looking at Daryl. Sarah frowned as she listened, "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."
Sarah looked at Daryl as he spoke, "No. Rick's done all right by me."
"You're his henchmen and I'm a burden," Carol argued.
"Carol, with all due respect, but what the hell are you saying?" Sarah asked leaning forward, hoping that no one was listening to them.
"You're a burden too," Carol said, and Sarah felt taken aback by her words, "He deserves better, and you know it."
Sarah was about to answer, but Daryl spoke instead, glaring at Carol, "What do you want?"
"A man of honor," Carol answered and Sarah felt her eyes gone wide. What was she saying? Leaving Rick behind? What was her plan?
"Rick has honor," Daryl answered and Sarah looked at him. He was loyal and kind and she was glad he was with them and didn't want to leave.
"Maybe we should take our chance," Maggie said, looking at Glenn, and Sarah could not believe what they were saying.
"We have to stay together now," Sarah said with wide eyes. How could they not see it? Together they were stronger? They wouldn't have lasted two days all scattered around.
"Sarah is right," Hershel said, "There's no food, no fuel, no ammo-"
Suddenly the sound of leaves rustling made them all get up. Sarah turned to her sister, who had already come closer, an arrow already on her bow.
"What was that?" Beth asked.
"Could be anything," Daryl answered, Sarah was behind him, feeling the fear growing in her. If it was a walker, maybe they could take it down, but what if there were more, "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum-"
"A walker," Carol interrupted Daryl, "We need to leave."
"Going where?" Nicki said skeptically, "It's night."
"It's better than staying here," Carol answered, "I mean, what are we waiting for?"
"Calm down," Sarah said, hoping that Carol would not freak out and run off somewhere.
"Which way?" Glenn asked.
"It came from over there," Maggie said, bracing her rifle.
"Back from where we came," Beth whispered. And she was right.
"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark," Rick's voice made Sarah turn; she didn't even notice that he had gotten back, "We don't have the vehicles. No one is traveling on foot," Sarah agreed with him, even if she didn't miss the annoyed look he had looking at all of them.
"Don't panic," Hershel said trying to keep everyone calm.
"I'm not sitting here waiting for another herd to blow through," Maggie said anxiously.
"We don't know if it is a walker," Sarah insisted, trying to keep calm. She knew that the situation was fucked up. They were in the open and anything could pass by, but panic never helped anyone.
"We need to move now," Maggie insisted, but this time, it was Rick who talked.
"No one is going anywhere!" He exclaimed.
"Do something!" Carol said.
"I am doing something!" Rick argued back, "I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this!"
Rick had always tried; he had always done his best to help and protect them all since the first day they met. He didn't put himself in charge; they let him, and Sarah did not think it was fair for them to turn on him because they were in a difficult situation. Being divided meant death; how could they not see that?
"I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!" Sarah's eyes widened at his words as she turned towards her sister. Nicki was observing the man, but there was no expression on her face as she kept quiet. Nobody said anything.
"You saw what he was like," Rick kept saying, "How he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us," Sarah looked up at Daryl, and they both shared a look.
"He staged the whole Randall thing," Rick kept saying and Sarah could not help but observe her sister, "Led me out to put a bullet in my back," Nicki had been right. Shane had tried to kill Rick.
"He gave me no choice," he kept saying, "He was my friend but he came after me," as Carl started to cry in his mother's arms, it had been the only moment in which Nicki turned away. Still no emotion on her face.
"My hands are clean!" Rick kept saying, and nobody dared to answer anything. Among them fell an heavy silence, only Carl's whimpers could be heard.
"Maybe you people are better off without me," Rick said, "Go ahead!" Sarah looked at the others, trying to understand if someone was talking in consideration of actually leaving, but it was very difficult to catch; they were all too shocked, too scared.
"I say there's a place for us, but maybe it's just another pipe dream," Rick said and Sarah let out a shaky breath, glancing at her sister. She was hoping that there was a place, somewhere, where her sister could grow in peace and safety. There must have been one, somewhere.
"Maybe I'm fooling myself again," Rick kept saying, "Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard! Go ahead, that's the door!" Sarah and Daryl looked at each other once more, "You can do better? Let's see how far you get," Rick said, but nobody moved, "No takers? Fine! But get one thing straight: you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore," and then he walked away.
They all looked at each other in silence, knowing perfectly that they would not have made it on their own. They had to stay together. Now more than ever. Sarah looked at her sister; Nicki was her priority, and she would have done anything to keep her safe. Anything.