---
The sun hadn't even hit full strength yet, and Naruto was already stomping into Training Ground 7, stretching his arms and yawning like a wild animal.
"Alright, ice chakra! This time, you're gonna do what I say!"
He cracked his knuckles, grinned wide, and took his first step onto the field.
Snap.
POOF!
A puff of black ink exploded straight into his face.
"BLAGHH—MY EYES—WHAT THE—?!"
He stumbled back, tripping over himself, ink dripping from his hair and running down his cheeks.
Before he could wipe his face—
WHACK!
A spring-loaded log swung out and smacked him right in the shin.
"AGHH—MY LEG! WHY?!"
He collapsed to the ground, groaning.
"No way… who put a prank log in my training ground?! That's my move!"
---
He sat up, coughing and wiping his eyes. "Okay. Okay. That's fine. Just some dumb trap."
He stood, wobbled a step forward.
Ffft.
White powder sprayed into his face.
He froze. "...Wait. Was that—"
Then the itching started.
"NOOO—NOT ITCHING POWDER!!"
He dropped his pouch, screaming, rolling in the dirt and tearing at his jacket like it was on fire.
"WHY WOULD ANYONE USE THIS?! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS—RECENTLY!"
He staggered upright, twitching, red-faced, covered in ink and grass.
One more step—
Snap!
His ankle yanked into the air.
"OH, COME ON!!"
Naruto dangled upside down from a branch, flailing and spinning like a squeaky wind chime.
"I SWEAR—WHOEVER SET THIS, I'M GONNA—YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!"
---
When he finally got free (face-first into the dirt again), Naruto sat up, covered in mud, grass, and betrayal.
"I'm the prank master," he muttered. "No way I'm losing to a bunch of amateur traps."
He stomped to the middle of the field, arms flailing.
"HEY! WHO DID THIS?! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A—"
Thud.
Soft, but sharp. Behind him.
He spun.
A woman stood there.
Purple coat. Wild eyes. Big grin. Calm hands. She looked like someone who carried candy and knives in the same pocket.
"Well," she said, "you're more dramatic than I expected."
Naruto blinked. "Huh?! Who the heck are you?!"
She smiled. "Nobody important."
"You the one who set all these traps?!"
"I might've," she said, voice playful. "What, you didn't enjoy them?"
"ENJOY?! I got ink-bombed, log-smashed, itch-dusted, and TREE-LAUNCHED!"
She gave a small clap. "Wow. You really triggered all of them."
Naruto growled. "This is a training ground! Not a circus!"
She circled him, hands behind her back. "Didn't see you doing much training."
"I was about to!"
"Too slow, then."
He pointed a muddy finger at her. "You don't look like a teacher."
"Good," she said, stopping in front of him. "I'm not one."
He narrowed his eyes. "You some kind of weirdo?"
"Oh, absolutely."
---
That was it.
Naruto charged, yelling, chakra bursting in his legs. "YOU WANNA FIGHT, CRAZY LADY?!"
He threw a punch.
She didn't move.
She twisted aside, grabbed his wrist mid-swing, and flipped him into the dirt with perfect technique.
"WARGH—!"
Before he could recover, she lightly stepped on his back.
"Not bad," she said. "For a loud brat."
"GET OFF ME!"
He burst upward, puffing two clones into place.
"Alright, let's see you dodge this!"
One clone rushed her.
She yawned, flicked a wire—poof.
The other tried to flank.
She launched a kunai behind her back—poof.
Naruto stared.
She didn't even blink.
"Cute," she said. "Still bad."
---
He stood there panting, sore, muddy, and now extra angry.
"Who even are you?!"
"Anko."
"Anko… what?"
"Just Anko."
"Are you one of those weird ANBU people or something?"
She grinned. "Not telling."
He frowned. "You're super sketchy."
"I've been called worse."
---
She walked around him one more time, studying him like he was a strange bug on a leaf.
"You've got cold chakra," she said. "Unstable. Weird. Probably dangerous."
Naruto stiffened. "So what?"
She smiled wider. "So I figured I'd watch you."
"Watch me?! You spying on me?!"
"I prefer the term quality control."
He looked baffled. "Lady, are you just messing with me?"
"Oh yeah," she said cheerfully. "But also? You're interesting."
Naruto crossed his arms. "I'm not your science experiment."
She flicked a kunai over her shoulder—it landed upright in the dirt near his foot.
"I'll be back tomorrow."
"For what?!"
"To see if you dodge better."
"THAT'S NOT A REAL ANSWER!"
She vanished in a blur of movement.
Gone.
---
Naruto stood in the quiet field, covered in mud, scratches, and indignity.
He stared at the kunai. Then at the trees.
Then at his hands.
"…She's nuts."
But the smirk tugged at his lips anyway.
"Alright. You wanna play games, crazy snake lady?"
He tightened his headband.
"Tomorrow, I'm dodging everything."
He paused.
"…Probably."
---