Over the past 3 days, I learned a few things about the hospital ward I was staying in. Fortunately, I was staying in a quieter part of the hospital. Asher was staying in a different ward which I hadn't heen told the name off or where it was. Not that I was to bothered by it.
However I did learn that the warden here, she is an elderly lady in her early sixties. She is due to retire in a couple of years. She treats me like her granddaughter. Its kind of confusing, she's kind and gentle like she knew me when I was younger. Actually I get that werid feeling about quite a few of the staff here, a few if the older doctors and a few caretakers. One thing they all have in common is that there age is a little older and have worked here for at least 8 years. Its not bad though.
"Do you have a brother?" The lady asks warmly. She has short curly hair that is a mixture of white and grey. She doesn't wear the awful uniform that the reat of the staff were, instead she always comes in, in a knitted jumpers. Tooday it's a pastel pink colour.
"Yeh, I do. Hes 6 years old."
"How about I bring some old toys from when my children were younger." I'm a little taken aback from the offer but I have no reason to refuse. My little brother doesn't have toys, its a luxury I couldn't afford and the strangers that roam the house I live under had not a single care about a little boy wanting a toy. They saw him as a burden, an annoyance. God I hate thinking about it.
"Actually, that. That would be nice." I can't help but fiddle with the cup of tea that the old lady had given me. A small gentle smile lights my face up.
"Honey, your smile is so pretty. Its shame you only smile when we talk about your brother. You must care about him."
"Ah. I guess so. He's been through alot. He deserves better than this, the least I can do is care for him."
"Don't you think you deserve better aswell." She doesn't understand that I'm not half as good as she thinks I am. Years of lies is what I am shrouded him, I don't deserve her care. It's my fault all this happened the least I can do is take a little responsibility.
The lady tooked my silence as a signal to change the subject.
"It's Saturday now so school is off, a young girl is waiting for you in the visitors lounge. She said her name is Claria." My eyes dart up, a speck of light flickering in my eyes.
***
"MESAI." I could hear the angered voice of Claria before I even turned the corner. She probably saw my shadow and shouted for me thinking I'd run away.
"A-ha, Hi Claria."
"Seriously, you didn't feel comfortable telling me anything? That 'trip' you had on the way home? That wasn't a little stumble was it. You barely speak about yourself or your interests, you never start a conversation. You know sometimes I wonder if you even see me as your friend. I could have helped, give you advice. Im here for you, you know. Your not alone." I don't feel much shame or embarrassment, but listening to her speak like she's on the verge of crying makes me feel guilty. I couldn't help but avoid her eyes.
In that moment I couldn't say anything, I couldn't force a sorry because I know if I had another chance I still wouldn't have spoken up. I know that I'm partially wrong but that doesn't mean my action are. I had my reasons too.
"You can only imagine the shock I felt as I was dragged from Class only to find out that I'm going to be investigated by police because my friend has and is being abused by her caretaker and that now she's in fucking hospital. Mesai are you even sorry you lied." Her voice trembled. This moment reminded me that even such an understanding persom can't understand me. What a stupid wish it was to think she was any different.
In a shallow voice I murmur and answer, "no." When Claria heard she just stood still unable to do anything, unable to say anything.
"I suppose there is no convincing you, is there?"
"no. There isn't."
"Were we ever friend's in your eyes?"
My head jolted upwards as she spoke, It felt painful to think that she thought I didn't see her as my friend. This was probably how she felt finding out that I had lied about my homelife. Even so, it didn't change much.
"Of course I saw you as my friend, the only I've ever had."
"Friends don't lie about things like this."
"Most do though."
Claria couldn't argue my point because we both knew I was right. Who would willingly tell people about there struggles, I don't care about not burdening people. If it worked in my favour I would tell people and burden them, but It doesn't work in my favour, so I didn't.
After that Claria left, I understand why she was angry but it wasy choice not her's, I hope at the very least she can understand that.
Once she was gone I sighed before taking a nap in the lounge. The chairs were very comfortable, the air con was on so it wasn't too warm. Its was just right.
***
A small little boy was giggling as he ran through the entrance door. He ran with a small toy train, he pretend that it was flying through the air. His eyes gleamed with happiness that he hadn't felt for a while. Not that he particularly understand his emotions. He was a little boy and didn't understand much. All he new was that his sister was his hero and this lady was the nicest person he had ever met.
After the incident he watched as his Uncle screamed and shouted at the people in yellow and blue taking away his uncle. He didn't understand what was going on so when the lady came to him and said "Your dad is a naughty man and I'm a police officer here to take him away, you should stay with the big boy over there."He instantly believed it. However he did say one thing. "My daddy is dead, Thats uncle." The police offer looked at him in suprise before urging him to go to the tall boy.
The tall boy had pretty hair, he approached the tall boy which gently picked him up. "Im going to take you to my my mum, shes very nice like your sister. She'll take care of you, You can go visit her don't worry she'll get better soon." The little boy didn't understand why he couldn't go with his sister but he could tell that the tall boy wasn't lying about his mum being kind. He complied quietly.
When he first went to the hospital he didn't understand why his sister was sleeping but as a little boy with little conscious he couldn't help but cry while telling the tall boys mum "My sissy looks so peaceful." From then on he visited the hospital everyday with the tall boys mum. She was very pretty just like the tall boy however she had brown hair not snowy hair like the other boy. The lady told him to call her nanny and so he did. That was the beginning of something the little very rarely felt, happiness. He didn't have to listen to shouting everyday which he thought was werid but nice.
So when the little boy found out that he could visit his sister because she had woken up he felt overjoyed, he even decided to bring his new favourite toy. It was a Thomas the tank engine mini train figure, and it flew through the air as he ran inside.
***
"SISSY." the loud noise awoke me from my nap, not that I was angry. It was the first time I saw my brother since I had woken open. He ran towards me a blue toy train in his hand, he jumped at me giving me a big hug. It was a hug I had needed. His spirit shone so bright despite everything that had happened. He was so giddy. I caught myself smiling at his brilliant words.
"Its my first toy a train. Its from a ahow called Thomas the tank engine, my favourite.And and theres this lady who takes care of me she's very kind. She bought me jigsaw too. She has one in her bag we can do one together. Its Thisssss big." He spread his small arms out as far as he could. "It has 100 pieces you have to help me sissy. Also also nanny said that once your out of here you can come have dinner. OH look shes over there."
The little boy point to the tall lady standing not far away. She looked like a supermodel. She kept her distance, she could see that me and my brother were having a moment. I have to thank her. I set my little brother aside and told him I'd get the jigsaw.
I slowly approached the lady, she gave off an aura of elegance, yet also that off a caring mother like a hen.
" Ehem, You must be Ashers mum?"
"Yep that's correct. Whem I got a call I was rather confused. He didn't explain anything nether did your brother but I imagine that he just didn't know. All he said was that you were his hero. Asher said that its better you explain directly." The lady was polite. The tall lady before me had helped without knowing a thing, she was even being kind despite being completely unaware. why. Just why. It was so confusing.
"Oh" I noded slowly before looking back towards my brother. "I can explain but not whilst he is around."
Even though Bradon had been partially aware he still wouldn't understand the violence.
"I'll get Asher. Im sure he wouldn't mind looking after him."
I couldn't hold back the coughs stuck in my throat, why wouldn't he mind, hes probably hand enough already. The tone in her voice seem so knowing, like she knew for a fact that he would, but why was she so sure.
***
—About half an hour later he showed up, without question.
Well this is werid.
The lady dragged me away as I eyed Asher. He looked ate innocently as if saying sorry. I glared back at him in annoyance warning him that he'd have to explain himself. He mysteriously disappeared the other day not answering my question and now he decided to show up. I knew he was probably busy but it was still a little irratating.
The lady took me to a more secluded room int eh lounge before sitting me down in a chair opposite her. I hadn't even known this room existed, she probably discovered it when taking Bradon here for visits.
"what happened? Why did my son suddenly decide I had to raise a 6 year old again, although he much better behaved the Asher."
I let out a loud exhausted sigh before telling the truth, which was a rare occasion.
"I had to to move in with my uncle after my Parents died when I was 10 he was only 6 months old. He doesn't remember mum and dad, just knows that they didn't make it. My uncle wasn't to bad at first but he became an alcoholic. He started shouting and stuff. It didn't progress till recently and he decided to get violent. I tryed to protect him, I took the blame for all the petty problemsy uncle managed to find. Then my uncle used a glass bottle to hit my round the head. Thats when the doorbell ran and Asher appeared. That was it." I didn't waver, not once, because what was the point of doing so it wouldn't change anything. The facts were still there even if it wasn't spoken emotionally.
The lady was momentarily speechless, she looked at me in a way that I couldn't wrapped my head around. Instead of pitying my or looking at me weirdly she looked directly into my eyes.
"My name is Laural, I would like to foster your brother."