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Chapter 25 - Chapter 24: Family party (part 2)

-Masani: "Who was it?"

-Riku: "A brand off of Mario and Steve, apparently, I don't know them tho"

-Masani: "Huh, that sounds familia.r"

-Riku: "Does it?"

-Masani: "Yeah, after I left your place last time, me, my wife and itsuri went to a restaurant. The one the plumber who repaired our flooding told us about, and there was a cubic-headed guy who served as a waiter apparently, are they still outside?"

-Riku: "I don't know, you can check."

Masani goes outside, looking everywhere.

-Masani: "No one is here, they must've left."

While Masani was out, He got jumped on by the plumber and the waiter.

-Plumber: "Aha! Il primo is ours! Now, just the rest of the famiglia, and then... finalmente, we are the protagonisti!"

-Waiter: "Observation: The narrative arc requires more than one character. The remaining 'family' units are approximately ten in number. Success rate: Undetermined."

-Plumber: "Sette? Mamma mia, you, always with the numbers! We'll get them. One leaky faucet at a time, we'll conquer this città! Just you watch!"

Back inside.

-Riku: "Huh, Masani isn't back?"

Riku goes out to check for him.

-Riku: "Onii-chan! where are you?"

No responses.

-Riku: "Hm? Maybe he went for a little walk...but it's very late."

Riku goes back inside, just to find out in his terror what just happened.

-Riku: "What the?"

The plumber and the waiter had kidnapped everyone in the family.

-Riku: "You again??"

-Plumber: "Aha! Scusi, 'main character,' but we've got your whole famiglia! You want them back? Hah! What am I even saying? You won't, ahaha!"

-Waiter: "Indeed, their individual spawns were... efficient. And their current retention rate approaches 100%."

-Riku: "I SWEAR I'LL TEAR BOTH OF YOUR EYES OFF-"

-Plumber: "You want them back? Then you follow my instructions, capisci? No risky moves, no funny business, or you can say ciao to them forever!"

-Waiter: "Your instructions, of course, will primarily involve the relinquishment of your protagonist status. A simple transfer of data, if you will."

Riku hesitates.

-Riku: "And if I do?"

-Plumber: "If you do that, then we will leave your famiglia free, but then... ecco, you won't have the plot armor anymore!"

-Riku: "Hmm..."

-Waiter: "Correct, your hit points will then be subject to standard damage calculations, without any external narrative protection."

-Riku: "I previously said unseriousness was my power*..."(refers to chapter 22 against boredom)

-Plumber and waiter: "?"

-Riku: "So Nuh uh, I wouldn't give up on my main character power, and if necessary...I will get the family back myself."

-Plumber(to the Waiter): "Refused?! Ma che dici?! He thinks he can just... prendere them back, all by himself? Incredibile! He's got more nerve than a leaky pipe on a Monday morning!" 

Underneath, the plumber was in disbelief.

-Waiter: "Calculations indicate a 0.003% probability of independent family retrieval without cheat codes. This defiance is... ill-advised. His resource management is suboptimal."

Suddenly, both the plumber and waiter run away with the giant bag full of the family behind them, as they break through the wall, they go to a 'not a reference to a Mario kart car'.

-Riku: "HEY!"

They sped up as Riku was following them behind by sprinting.

-Plumber: "This guy's fast?! He's going Mach 5 by sprinting?! Mamma mia, he's like a rocket made of stubbornness!"

-Waiter: "His movement speed parameter has increased exponentially. This anomaly was not present in the initial player data."

Soon enough, Riku catches them and jumps on them, scratching the big bag and releasing the family.

-Masani: "Ah, what happened??"

-Masani's wife: "Everything went so fast, I don't remember either."

-Mitsuri: "And where are we?"

-Riku's dad: "We're in the middle of a rainbow road?"

-Riku's mom: "Ahh~ At least the children are safe BUUAHH~~~"

-Yaku: "Someone dares to touch my sibling?!"

-Juni: "Someone dared to steal my death?!"

-Amane: "Someone dared to steal my golden toilet?!"

-Iso: "Someone dared to steal my boredom?!"

-Momo: "...Shomone dared to shteal my punshing bag?!"

The plumber and waiter are in a bad situation.

-Plumber: "We gotta leave NOW! Andiamo!"

-Waiter: "Re-evaluating escape routes; probability of successful disengagement is diminishing. Suggest immediate teleportation-"

They both feel a hand on their shoulder.

-Riku: "You both ain't running away..."

They both look at him. Riku had just become a ghoul with a red eye.

-Plumber: "No, no, wait! Aspetta! Please, per favore!"

-Waiter: "Re-evaluating current threat assessment. The probability of survival has decreased to 0.01%. Recommendation: immediate negotiation at any cost. Our inventory contains no suitable defensive items."

-Riku: "Nope nope..."

And so, round by round, they were getting karma.

-Riku's dad whoops their butts.

-Riku's mom forced them into baby clothes.

-Masani became temporarily their older brother and traumatized them with all that the older brother usually does.

-Masani's wife 'accidentally' flooded them both.

-Riku made them pass through Main character's back story trauma.

-Yaku schooled them like they were her little sibling, and she scolded them hard.

-Juni forced them to be experiments.

-Amane drew on their face.

-Mitsuri just stared at them.

-Iso exploded their ears with unnecessary information.

-Momo karate kicked them, and she sent them toward space.

-Iso: "Just like Team Rocket?"

-Yaku: "Yeah, but these guys aren't getting back any soon."

-Riku: "Huh...I guess that's it."

-Mitsuri: "...can we go back to our party?"

-Everyone: "YES!"

And so they went back to Riku's apartment like nothing had happened.

End of chapter!

-Author: "...uh? Did no one notice that Momo said a whole sentence this time?"

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