The penthouse was gone.
Just gone.
No explosion. No rumble. No dramatic anime fade-out. One second it existed, the next, it was a memory… like Subaru's dignity.
Smoke curled from the spot where it once stood, and all that remained was Ryusui hovering over some pastries, baguette still in hand.
"...Well," he mumbled, still chewing, "that's unfortunate."
Makima stepped forward, cracking her neck. Her aura was less scary boss lady and more final boss with three rage phases.
Everyone froze.
"Who," she asked with terrifying calm, "will become legally brain dead, and will be paying for the TEN. BILLION. YEN. structure we just lost from existence?"
Kazuma panicked. "WOAH! We were just watching!"
Gojo raised a hand, brushing white strands back. "Technically, I was just about to drink soda from the vending machine."
Makima stared him down.
"...With elegance," he added.
"Is now the time to talk about elegance?!" Subaru shrieked, still wrapped in his blanket toga. "Saiki! Say something! Or read her mind! Or trap her in a mental dimension! Something!"
Saiki floated silently.
Gojo's soda can slipped from his fingers, landing with a soft plink. Gojo noticed. "Hey… Saiki. That stone guy. Is that—is that Toji?"
Saiki blinked. "Dunno. He mentioned you, though."
Gojo turned pale. "I killed Toji."
Everyone slowly turned to stare at him.
"I mean—again! It was a whole thing—sword through the gut, woosh, splurt, hollow purple."
Kazuma slowly raised a hand. "Is this normal in your universe?"
"No!" Subaru yelled. He thought to himself, "And wait—Return by Death—!" He staggered back. "It's acting up again."
Saiki squinted and read his mind.
Flash.
Memories flickered—distorted, repeating timelines. The building exploded twice in some timelines.
Return by death... so if Gojo killed him from his timeline, Subaru's Return by Death tried reaching out to him but instead got tangled with others' revival along the way.
Saiki nodded slowly. "Yeah. It's definitely getting unstable. Also, ten-billion-yen building—gone in the blink of an eye."
Rudeus slumped. "I just fixed the lavatories."
"Can't you revert it?" Subaru asked.
"Nope. Too many people saw it this time," Saiki said flatly. "People will notice."
Makima's fists clenched.
"OH GOD SHE'S GONNA SNAP—" Kazuma screamed, jumping behind a rock. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE GOVERNMENT REDACTED!"
Makima's eye twitched. "Do any of you realize how much paperwork I'm going to have to fake to explain how an entire skyscraper ceased to exist?!"
Gojo raised a finger. "Global warming?"
Makima stared.
"I'll shut up now."
"Negotiations!" Ryusui declared, spinning in midair and landing like a golden retriever in a cape. "We must bargain with the devil—Makima!"
"She's not a devil," Saiki muttered.
"She's worse," Javier whispered.
Saiki restores the laptop to break Makima's gaze.
"Documents you were working on are saved." Saiki mentioned briefly.
Before Lloyd could chime in, Saiki vanished.
--- Home ---
Saiki teleported home, hoping for one—just one—moment of peace.
He stepped into the living room, where the normalcy of his house wrapped around him like a warm, comforting blanket. His mom greeted him from the kitchen.
"Kusuo! You're home! We have curry tonight!"
His dad is reading manga. "Kusuo, can you fix this mug? Please."
A knock from the door.
His mom blinked at the crowd. "Oh my. Are these your friends?"
Saiki didn't answer.
Shadow replied. "Yes, for we together form alliance to defeat DARK REUNION!"
How did you even find me here?
"Come in, come in! I just made cookies!" she chirped.
Kazuma peeked in. "Whoa, this is a real house. You live like this?"
Denji grabbed a cookie. "Tastes like childhood. Which I didn't have."
"WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?" Saiki finally said aloud, exasperated.
Saiki's dad poked his head out, froze at the group, then walked back in without a word.
Kusuo sighed.
"Excuse me, ma'am, do you accept compliments as payment?" Gojo asked with blindfolds removed.
She giggled. "Only on Thursdays!"
Saiki blinked twice and looked at his father.
His dad was already giving Kazuma a tour of the manga shelf.
In the chaos, Kusuke called.
The TV opened suddenly.
"Yo, heard about the building. Kusuo. Not only did your location spike like a GPS system on crack, but you brought criminals to our HOME?!"
"I didn't bring them. They followed me," Saiki muttered.
Makima stepped in. "We need containment. Somewhere safe."
"I've got just the thing," Kusuke said smugly. "A private island. Secure. Secluded. Nuclear-proof."
Saiki scowled. "No."
Makima nodded. "We'll take it."
I said no. Is it even safe?
Kusuke nodded. "Of course! It's got everything: secure bunkers, energy shielding, bathrooms that clean you emotionally, and an anti-kaiju railgun—just in case."
Panning to an island with a beautiful beach, bedrooms, bathrooms, and suspicious looking room with 100 cameras and torture chamber.
Kusuke changing the camera. "Ah, wait, let's look somewhere else."
Subaru blinked. "How do you have that kind of money? There has to be a catch."
"Electrcity," Kusuke whispered.
Kusuke just laughed. "It's getting late. I'll let you kids enjoy your chaos." Click. The call ended.
A beat of silence passed.
Kazuma slowly turned to Saiki. "That's your brother?"
Everyone thought the same thing: This guy's an absolute asshole.
"Thanks for letting us stay," Rudeus added.
Saiki's eye twitched. He couldn't believe they were all staying at his house.
--- Island ---
"Huge. IT'S FRIGGIN HUGE!" Subaru screamed.
Kazuma threw both fists in the air. "YES! BEACH VACATION! SUCK IT, TAXES!"
"You don't even pay taxes!" Denji shouted.
"I WAS PRETENDING TO BE RICH!"
Saiki turned to Ryusui, Senku, and Lloyd. "Is the containment room ready?"
Senku pushed his goggles up. "Just finished this morning."
"It can withstand a nuke," Lloyd added. "We tested it on that pervert." Pointed at the direction of Kazuma and Toritsuka.
"He's fine," Javier added. "Mostly."
They're both perverts though..
Makima crossed her arms. "And this containment room?"
Gojo walks toward her, lowering his head to match Makimas height.. "For interrogating dangerous new arrivals. People from unstable worlds. Like Toji."
Or Choso. Or Power. Or, potentially, this guy.
Everyone turned to see a suited man unconscious on the sand.
"Um, Saiki?" Rudeus asked. "Did you just... kidnap a random guy?"
Technically, yes. Everyone was.
"What?!" Subaru squinted. "He's got some kind of powers, right?"
Nah. He was—
"Saiki, I don't know how to tell you this," Senku interjected, "but kidnapping someone is a crime."
Let me finish. I read his mind. He thinks he came back from the dead. Just like Toji. And he was mentally narrating how he killed 240 thousand people with a notebook.
Silence.
"Ah. Okay. So you kidnapped a murderer," Kazuma deadpanned. "WHY DID YOU KIDNAP A MURDERER?!"
He's not from this universe. Ring a bell?
Each one shook their head.
Good grief.
Another one, huh?
---
End.
********
A/N:
Break for tomorrow, going to church <3