For someone who could barely breathe around him about an hour ago, I sure didn't mind being in the same space with him.
Instead of running out of the room, I was on the balcony, looking at the stars. My hands wrapped around myself attempting to warm up, the goosebumps on my skin as evidence that I needed another source of heat. But I just didn't want to go inside, inside was too close to him. Out here was a safe distance.
I didn't know how I ended up just standing here, even after I saw the sun disappear and the moon and stars appear. I didn't move, I just stared.
I didn't know when Damiano joined me till I felt something wrap around me, a sweater, His sweater, I held it it tightly, desperate for the warmth it offered, the scent of its owner for the first time, brought comfort. I let my hands into the longer sleeves, grateful for the much-needed warmth. But I said nothing, returning my gaze to the night sky.
"I'm trying here", I heard him say.
He was also looking out at the sky, but I bet just like me. The sky wasn't what plagued his mind.
I didn't know what exactly he meant, but that wasn't the reason I stayed silent.
"I'm trying my best to make you comfortable, trying my best to...…", he trailed off, uncertainty lingering in his voice for the first time since I met him.
"Then let me go", was all I said.
He turned to me and I turned to him just in time.
"If you wanted me to be comfortable, then why am I here?".
"And have you away from me?", he asked, ignoring my question, his eyes searching mine for an answer.
"I don't want you out of my site.
I want you.....I need you", his words sounded like he was pleading with me, even his eyes looked like he was begging.
"You can't have me", I said shaking my head, almost shaking away the thought of even considering him. I was very close to giving him myself, with the way he looked at me. The way his eyes beckoned me.
"I'd settle for any....", he didn't say anything else, like the words were stuck in his throat.
But his eyes said plenty, and I wish I could look away, but they pulled me in closer.
I didn't know just how we got so close, how I got to hear his breaths, uneven as if he was clinging on to air.
I felt his hand touch my face, his hand burning my skin, but not in the way I wanted to flinch. But a warmth I felt I'd been missing forever. He moved even closer, his nose touching mine, and my breath hitched.
If I thought I knew how to breathe before, I was wrong. Because the moment I closed my eyes, my lungs let out every ounce of air, leaving me breathless.
"Please", I heard him say, his voice so strained, I felt his other hand cup my face, but it trembled, less firm than the other.
For a man who exuded power, control, and composure, I felt he had none at this moment.
Neither did I.
I opened my eyes, to see his closed, his brows narrowed, his lips parted.
"Damiano", I voiced out.
My voice comes out more pleading than it should.
Then like his name from my lips commanded him, his lips crashed on mine. His want for me leaked into my mouth from his, and my eyes closed. Allowing myself to melt into him, letting him roam my mouth.
The cold air on the balcony had long forgotten all I felt was his warmth, and when his hand left my face and pulled me closer by the waist. All I felt was his warmth, his need.
His hand that didn't grip me found my hair, pulling off my scrunchie so his hand could explore my hair.
His kiss made any form of control I had against him slip away, my hands found his hair. They felt even silkier than I could imagine. I tugged, and I felt him moan as he kissed me, causing even more of my self-control to fly out the window.
His two hands wrapped around my waist possessively, pulling me even closer than I thought was possible. My hands went up his arms, feeling the carvings of his well-toned muscles, trailing to his back, then locking behind his neck, pulling him and inviting him even deeper into the kiss.
I didn't know how I felt warmer, each passing moment with our lips locked together, each of us exploring the other's mouth and leaking desire into the other.
Want pulling at my core, the need to have him even closer, touching more of my skin and relieving me of the ache between my legs, grew even stronger the deeper he kissed me.
I couldn't have enough of him, and when we both pulled away gasping for air. I still wanted him, not caring about how breathless I was.
His eyes told me he felt the same like he was ready to kiss me again, even if it meant not breathing.
Want, the emotion so conspicuous in his eyes. His hands locked around my waist still, as if he were scared to let me go. I didn't want him to let me go, but I pulled back anyway, Creating space between us, missing his touch just as I did. I saw his shoulders slump as if he had just let out the only breath he had in his lungs, and my pulling away meant there wasn't a need for it.
Then I left, going straight out of the room and darting downstairs. This time sure that I couldn't be in a room with him, only now it was for the wrong reason.
I just dashed out, locating the front door, no one stopping me.
I got outside and even with the cool air touching my face, I still felt him on me. I could still remember every second of the kiss, his hand in my hair, him gripping my waist. The way he kissed me like he begged me, pleaded with me for more.
My breathing still felt haggard, like no matter how much fresh air I took in, my lungs still held on to the air around him.
What did I just do?