March 18, 1998
Hermione felt herself slowly come awake, comfortable and warm. She could feel Harry spooned up behind her like usual but she didn't feel quite right. Her nerves felt jittery, like she was going to start twitching at any second. It was quite disconcerting. Suddenly, she remembered exactly what had been happening before she had lost consciousness. Her eyes flew open and her breathing sped up, her throat suddenly choked up. Her mother was sitting at her bedside and she had a concerned look on her face. Harry pulled on her shoulder and made her lay flat so he could look down at her.
"You're safe, Hermione. Nobody here is going to hurt you," he promised her. Hermione calmed slightly as his hand came up to stroke her hair off her forehead. Her legs started to twitch under the blankets and Harry laid a warm hand on her legs over the blanket.
"It's the aftershocks from the Cruciatus. Here's a potion to help. You were due this morning for another dose anyways," Harry explained. He reached out and grabbed a vial off the table next to her bed. Hermione knew she was going to have to sit up so she started to push herself up from the bed. Professor McGonagall stood to help her with an arm behind her shoulders. Harry fluffed two pillows and put them behind her, propping her up enough that she could swallow her potion. He opened the vial held it to her lips, letting her drink it as slowly as she wanted. It tasted so foul that it turned her stomach but she willed herself to not throw it back up.
"What happened? Where are we and how did we get here?" she asked after settling back against the pillows. Her mother shot Harry a look and he turned his attention back to Hermione.
"We were thrown down in the dungeon with Luna, Dean, Mr. Ollivander, and Griphook. We couldn't figure out how to get out and all we could hear was you screaming. I happened to see an elf deliver food trays for the four prisoners and I called Dobby. He took the prisoners to Shell Cottage and then reappeared outside the cell door and killed Pettigrew. We took wands off the fucking rat and headed back upstairs. We found you naked on the floor with Greyback about to rape you. I stunned him and everything fell into anarchy," Harry said, moving into the spot next to her so she could snuggle closer. It felt nice to be next to him again after being so sure that she was going to die on Malfoy's drawing room floor.
"Ron took out Yaxley, I'm pretty sure he bled to death unless someone got him help quickly. We stunned Lucius and Dobby threw that same knife she used on you through her from behind. I took that moment to cast a killing curse right in her face," Harry told her. Hermione couldn't stop the tears from slowly streaming down her cheeks.
"The part that threw me was when I looked up and saw that Malfoy rushed over to you when Greyback fell on you and shoved him off you. He used the same knife that killed Bellatrix and stabbed him through the chest and made it look as though he fell on the knife when he had been stunned. I told Ron we weren't going to attack him and he told me disarm him so he could claim that we overpowered him. He let us go and I took his wand with me. We're at Shell Cottage, Bill and Fleur's home," Harry explained.
Hermione was reeling. Sure, she knew that Malfoy had felt bad when she had met his eyes during her torture. That much had been clear. However, to kill Greyback and then let Harry disarm him before letting him escape was hard to believe. Which side of the war was he really on?
"I met his gaze right before they vanished my clothes. I could see how much watching what they were doing to me was tearing him up. In that moment, I knew that there was nothing he could have done to help me. One person against all those crazies didn't stand a chance. I'm glad you didn't attack him, Harry," she confided in him. Harry picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.
"He's an alpha. I don't know how I know but I could feel it. He has his own omega out there and I'm sure that he knows exactly what he would have been doing in my shoes. Even if he's still a true Death Eater, I'm not sure that there's an alpha out there would willingly attack an omega, knowing what it would cause for the alpha. Only a sick bastard would and as bigoted as Draco Malfoy was, he was never sick or twisted," Harry revealed. Hermione couldn't help but agree. She met her mother's gaze and asked the question that she really didn't want to know the answer to.
"Am I alright? I can feel the tremors subsiding but I still feel weak," Hermione inquired. Her mother sighed and Harry tightened his hold on her. She could tell that there was something wrong and it was starting to worry her.
"Just tell me, you're starting to freak me out," she demanded. Harry blew a deep breath out of his mouth and looked her in the eyes.
"You had three broken bones in your face and your jaw was unhinged. Your brain was beginning to swell so Madam Pomfrey had to put you in a coma overnight. There were torn muscles in your neck, probably from them hitting you. The knife wounds were made with a cursed blade so they're going to scar. Your spleen was punctured and your liver lacerated, I believe she said. She was able to repair the internal damage but you lost a lot of blood. You can't even have anymore blood replenisher until tonight because she gave you the maximum dose for twenty-four hours," Harry said, clearly upset about the things he was telling her.
Hermione looked down to her bandaged arm and burst into tears. Harry's arms were around her, cradling her to his chest and letting his shirt soak up her tears. His hand rubbed comforting circles on her back while her mother stood and sat on the bed as well, smoothing her hair as she cried.
"I'm going to have the word 'mudblood' on my arm for the rest of my fucking life! How will I explain that to our kids?" she demanded, furious that Bellatrix was such a twisted bitch that she had to mark her skin permanently. Harry just held her, rocking her slightly, until her tears started to ebb. She finally pulled away and there was utter heartbreak in his eyes.
"What else could there possibly be?" she asked, already exhausted after her crying jag. Harry sighed heavily.
"Before I tell you, what happened to you isn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault but those sick fucks who did this to you. I'm promising you right now, Hermione, I'm done fucking about with this war. I mean to finish this quickly so I can put You-Know-Who's head on a fucking stake," he proclaimed before running a hand through his hair. His shoulders slumped and Hermione knew that it was going to be bad.
"You were almost six weeks pregnant. Madam Pomfrey tried to save the baby but she couldn't. There was too much damage to your womb. She was able to repair the damage, though, so we can still have children in the future," Harry confessed. Hermione couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. She had been pregnant? Of course, she knew that they hadn't been using spells or potions to prevent a baby, that had been incredibly stupid of them. But to know that she had been carrying a life inside her and those animals had killed it was too much.
"We...we were going to have a baby?" Even she could tell from her tone of voice that she wasn't going to hold it together much longer. Harry met her gaze, tears now slipping down his cheeks.
"Yeah, kitten, we were going to be parents," he stated.
Hermione couldn't help the sobs that were escaping her now. Harry once more pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his chest but it didn't make her feel any better. Her baby was dead before she even knew that it existed. It could have looked just like Harry and been smart like her. Images of what their child could have been streamed through her mind and it thoroughly crushed her heart. She pictured Harry teaching a little boy how to ride his first broom, her braiding a little girl's hair so she could ride on Harry's shoulders afterwards. It was all so fucking heartbreaking and nothing in the world could make it better.
Harry rocked her again, shushing her softly and rubbing her back. Her mother was there behind her, trying to lend her support in any way she could. Her tears finally slowed but she didn't let go of Harry. While him comforting her didn't make her feel any better, it was nice to know that she wasn't alone in her grief. Harry was suffering just as much as she was.
Hermione let her eyes fall closed and focused on the steady beat of Harry's heart. She was hardly hiccuping anymore and her tears were drying on her cheeks. Her body felt boneless and her exhaustion hit her full force. Her mother was still brushing her fingers through her hair and the action was relaxing her to the point where she was going to sleep. Harry kissed her forehead tenderly.
"Sleep, kitten," he told her.
Hermione did as she was told and slept.
-O-
Harry knew she had fallen asleep against her and was grateful. Telling her that those murdering fucks had killed their baby was the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Her reaction was much like his own but still hard to witness and he wished that he could turn back time and change everything so she wouldn't have to suffer at all. They had all been stupid and Hermione was the one who paid the price.
He eased her out of his arms to lay her back down in the bed, gently situating her so she could rest comfortably. He wasn't sure how long she would sleep but he hoped that it would be for a while. Now that she knew what he did, there were things that needed to happen and he was the only one who could do them. Fleur knocked lightly on the door and entered when McGonagall bid her to. She set down a tray that had several vials of potion on it and he looked at her questioningly.
"It's for when she wakes up. She'll need to take them for various reasons," Fleur explained. Harry nodded.
"She just woke up and we told her about the baby. She cried herself to sleep. You haven't told anyone else about it, have you?" Fleur shook her head.
"No, I would never do something like that, neither would Poppy," she insisted. Harry nodded his head.
"Please don't. I'm not sure how we feel yet about everyone knowing. I'd have to talk to Hermione about it and I don't think she can handle that right now," he told her. Fleur nodded again.
"Completely understandable. Now take off your sock and let me look at that ankle of yours. You could hardly walk last night but I knew there was no way that you were going to get it healed then," the French woman scolded him. Harry chuckled just a little before complying. While Fleur worked on his ankle, he turned to Professor McGonagall.
"How long can you be away from the school?" he inquired, wanting to know how long she could stay with Hermione.
"I can stay a few more hours yet but I really do need to return tonight. Snape knows that I left but I don't want the Carrows to realize it. They'll likely try to make the students lives even more horrific," his Head of House stated. Harry nodded as Fleur patted his foot after she finished.
"Alright, you sprained it pretty good. It's good for now but try to be gentle with it for the next couple days. Let the joint strengthen again," she instructed him. Harry nodded and stood after putting his sock and shoes back on. He looked to McGonagall.
"Can you stay with her while I go take care of some business? I don't want her to wake up alone and I don't thoroughly trust anyone here but you and Remus," he said bluntly. Fleur's eyes flicked to his but she said nothing. His professor nodded quickly.
"Absolutely. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. If you could trouble someone down there to bring me some breakfast though, it would be appreciated," she requested. Harry acquiesced immediately. He could do with some food too but wanted to get things done first.
Harry left Hermione's room and went through the house the way he had come in. Luna and Dean were seated in the living room and Luna appeared to be staring off into space. Harry realized that he had told her that he was going to kill her father and felt just a little bad for traumatizing her that way. However, it didn't make his words any less true. Ella and Ron were moving about in the kitchen, clearly making what he figured was lunch judging by the sandwiches that they were making. Bill, Remus and anyone else that might be there were nowhere to be seen.
"Ron, where are the others? I need to talk to them," Ron spun around and grinned at him, clearly happy to see him. However, that smile fell away when he realized that Harry wasn't really in the mood to be happy.
"They're outside on the beach. Do I need to come?" Harry shrugged his shoulders.
"You can but it's not necessary if you want to spend time with your girl," he told him. Ron brushed his hands off and kissed Ella on the cheek.
"I'm going to go with Harry. I'll be back," Ron promised. Harry looked to the French girl.
"Can I trouble you to send some food to Professor McGonagall in Hermione's room?" he asked her, hoping she would consent. Ella was quick to nod her agreement so Harry started through the house and found himself outside.
Outside, he took in the view that he had completely missed the night before. Shell Cottage was positioned about a quarter mile from the beach and it was sandy perfection as far as he could see. The sun was high in the sky, telling him that it was indeed time for lunch. Remus, Bill, and Arthur were seated in lawn chairs down by the water. They looked to be deep in discussion but he had no idea about what. Remus looked up first, probably smelling him as he approached. Harry waved his wand and conjured two more chairs, not caring that he was effectively interrupting their private conversation. Remus raised an eyebrow at him.
"How's Hermione?" he asked, worry clearly written on his face. Harry scrubbed his hands down his face several times before answering.
"She woke up. I had to tell her that her scars are fucking permanent and she bawled her eyes out. Not that I blame her. Nobody deserves to walk around their entire life with mudblood carved into their skin," he said. Arthur gasped softly and Harry could see that the man was upset. Ron had been sure that his mother and Ginny were the only ones in on the plan to potion and effectively murder Harry and Hermione but he wasn't sure he was just going to jump into trusting Arthur quite yet. Molly was still his wife. Remus reached over and patted Harry on the knee.
"I know it's terrible right now but with time, it'll get better. She's the strongest girl I know and she'll be alright. You'll be by her side and once we win this war, it'll be a badge of honor. It'll show she's a survivor," Remus reassured him. Actually, it did make him feel a bit better to realize that he would be at her side the entire time and he would be damned if anyone ever said a word to her about it. Bill, however, was the first one to get to the point.
"We're really glad that Hermione is awake and going to be fine but we were having a conversation that you can't really be privy to since you're not in the Order," Bill said. Harry could tell that he wasn't trying to be rude, just stating facts. Harry, however, had different ideas.
"Actually, that's what I came out here to talk about. I'm taking over this fucking shit show. No offense but I'm done with people getting killed and tortured. We're going to fight this war, not let them fight it their way and run behind and try to pick up the pieces. I want a full Order meeting called for tomorrow. Myself, Hermione, and Ron will be inducted and you will all report to me as to what you've been doing," Harry calmly stated. All three men were speechless, mouths gaping open. Bill was the first to recover.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, Harry? You already have your mission, you have an injured Hermione, and you have to personally deal with the Dark Twat. Do you even know the first thing about running a war?" Bill sounded incredulous. Harry didn't suppose that he could blame him.
"Actually, I don't. However, Ron is the best fucking chess player I've ever seen. I've never seen him lose. He's going to be my strategy man. Since you're the only person who's ever come close to beating him, I was hoping you would help him. Trust me, this isn't something that I'm going to just rush into and fuck up. I got a wake up call yesterday that people are getting hurt and dying. Sitting in that fucking tent did nothing but lure us into a false sense of reality. My fucking omega was almost raped and murdered because of these psycho fucks. I'm done fighting this war on their terms. You're either with me or you aren't," Harry proclaimed. Remus scrubbed his face now and nodded.
"I think you're being a little hasty about this, Harry, because you're upset about Hermione. I think you're making this about revenge. Trust me, I want revenge too. It's a good thing that Malfoy killed Greyback because I was dying for the chance. I'll follow you in this but I'm going to caution you that while you're trying to save lives by taking charge, you could also be putting them in danger. Just don't lose sight of that and I will proudly follow you into battle," the werewolf told him. Harry reached out and shook his hand while the other two nodded their agreement at their friend's words.
"I won't forget that, Remus. Let me know what time the meeting is. I'm going to make Hermione stay in bed for it, the tremors are hitting her pretty hard," Harry explained. Arthur stood and made excuses, saying that he was going to start spreading the word. Once he was out of earshot, Harry looked back to the three men before him.
"You three are the only ones I plan on telling, Remus because he's pretty much my godfather now, Bill because Fleur already knows, and Ron...well, you're my best mate. I don't want a bunch of people knowing because Hermione is already so beyond upset," he said, getting worked up again. He fought the tears that pricked at his eyes and succeeded in shoving them back.
"Hermione was pregnant. Six weeks. She lost the baby. Those fucking twisted cocksuckers murdered my child. I'm heartbroken but I don't come close to how upset she is. They're going to pay," Harry stammered out. Remus was already hugging him and Harry could feel the wolf positively vibrating against him. When he pulled away from the hug, Harry was wary of the look on Remus' face. The werewolf was quick to explain.
"You're pack. That makes Hermione pack. It's so different for werewolves. That means that they killed a child of my pack and it's hard as fuck to not go after them now. I want to gut them and watch wild wolves feast on their entrails," Remus spat out. Harry pictured it in his head and couldn't help but laugh. It was the first laugh since the attack and since it was about hurting the fuckers that had hurt Hermione, he didn't even mind. Remus, however, looked at him like he was mad.
"Sorry, totally inappropriate response but I pictured that in my head and could see myself watching that from a lawn chair with a butter beer in my hand," Harry said smilingly. Suddenly, they were all laughing. Harry let it die down before gesturing back to the house.
"I'm going to head back in and check on Hermione. Thanks for your support," he told them sincerely. Ron followed after him after Bill and Remus nodded at his words.
"I'm really sorry, mate. If there's anything I can do…" Ron offered. Harry smiled at his friend.
"There is literally nothing that nobody can do. McGonagall says that time is the only thing that will make it better. I just want to get her through this and make it through the war alive. I'm sick of wasting my life on that Dark Fuck," Harry said truthfully. Ron laughed again and nodded.
"I understand. Go on back to Hermione and tell her I'll be in to see her later after she rests," Ron said and Harry nodded, heading for the stairs. However, Luna was standing in his way and he sighed for the umpteenth time that day.
"What can I do for you, Luna? I need to go check on Hermione," he told her. Luna turned slightly and Harry caught it. Her scent. Luna was a fucking omega and getting ready to go into heat. His cock hardened in his trousers and he took a step back. Hermione flooded his mind and he willed his erection to disappear. After a few seconds, it was gone.
"Harry, I know you can smell me. I've put off asking for as long as I can," Luna said quietly and Harry held up his hand.
"Absolutely not, if you think I'm going to get you through this heat, you're insane. Hermione is right upstairs and it would kill her," Harry spat angrily at the diminutive blonde girl. Luna shook her head, furious.
"I wouldn't do that to Hermione, you arsehole. She's my friend. I need Neville, he's my alpha. I have no wand and no way to get ahold of him," Luna spat at him, fury dancing in her eyes. Harry sighed yet again and nodded.
"Sorry, I suppose I deserved that. Professor McGonagall is sitting with Hermione. I'll send her back to Hogwarts with a portkey and tell him to come tonight. There's no way it can happen any sooner than that. I'm sorry for the discomfort you'll be in," Harry apologized. Luna nodded, the angry look on her face falling away.
"That's fine, I'll survive. Thank you," she said. Harry didn't get a chance to say anything else because she turned and walked away. Harry took the steps two at a time to find Hermione's room. He walked in to find that Hermione was awake and eating a sandwich with her mother. He gave her a smile and sat next to her on the bed, kissing the side of her head.
"Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, kitten. I had to go take care of some business. Did you take your potions?" he questioned her. Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yes, Fleur has been in and given me my potions. What business did you have to take care of?" she fired right back at him. His Head of House was smiling behind her hand at the scene and he supposed that he couldn't blame her.
"I told Bill, Remus, and Arthur that they need to call for a full Order meeting tomorrow. We're getting inducted and I'm taking over this party. I'm tired of fighting this war on the Dark Twat's terms so things are going to change. If people don't like it, they can get the fuck out. They want me to take the fucker down, they're going to do it my way," Harry laid it all out for them. McGonagall was beaming proudly and Hermione cracked a tiny smile before rubbing his cheek softly.
"My war general. I can see it now. You're going to be amazing," she assured him. Harry laughed now.
"I plan on having help so it won't be just me," he revealed and Hermione smiled again. He reached for a sandwich off the plate and started munching on it while listening to mother and daughter discuss the events from the day before.
Harry listened as Hermione told them everything that had been done to her and what Bellatrix had asked her about. He couldn't believe that she had endured all she had and kept her secrets to herself. It was a show of exactly what Remus had said. She was the strongest woman he knew and she was going to survive anything that life threw at her. Once Hermione had talked herself out, she began yawning again so Harry reached for the potion vial left on the table. It was marked Dreamless Sleep and was sure that if anyone ever needed the potion, it was Hermione. He handed it to her and she grimaced.
"I know you don't want it, love, but you need rest to get better. I need you at my side for this war and that won't happen if you're stuck in bed healing. Bottoms up," he cajoled. She glared at him but turned her face to his. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, cupping her cheek with one hand. It wasn't deep and it wasn't long but they could both feel the emotion in just that one chaste kiss. When he pulled away, he knew there were tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry that I failed you. I'm your alpha and my job is to protect you. I failed you so miserably and I can only promise you that it won't happen again," he said brokenly. Hermione's finger laid across his lips, shushing him while shaking her head no.
"No, don't you dare think that. It's Lovegood's fault for turning us in, it's Bellatrix and Greyback's fault for hurting me. You did your best and you freed me. Both my torturers are dead. I don't blame you at all and you need to quit blaming yourself," she said firmly. Harry nodded but knew that it would be a long time before he could completely consider himself blame free. He kissed her once more and then gestured to the vial. She drank it down and settled back against the pillows. Her mother reached over and brushed her hair back from her face.
"I must go. I will return for the meeting tomorrow and see you then. Listen to your alpha, he only wants you well," McGonagall preached. Hermione nodded sleepily and in just minutes was asleep. Harry turned to Professor McGonagall and fulfilled his promise to Luna.
"Luna just stopped me on my way up here. She was taken from the Express and she's going into heat tonight. She needs Neville. He's her alpha. Can you get someone to make him a portkey and send him here? One of us can meet him at the wards," he asked. Professor McGonagall nodded.
"Absolutely. I'll make his excuses at school. He'll be here as soon as it's dark," she promised. His professor rose and came around to hug Harry and he was pleased to say that it was nice to hug her back.
"Remember what Hermione just told you. None of this was your fault. You were all negligent, not just you. Lessons learned are hard sometimes, Harry. Learn from this one and move on. She doesn't blame you at all so don't make yourself or her miserable for longer than necessary because of it. You've already lost enough, don't lose your happiness," she told him and Harry nodded, realizing that she was right. Him blaming himself would just make Hermione sad for longer and there was no way in hell that he wanted that for her.
"Can you ask Bill to meet Neville at the wards when he gets here? I slept like shite last night and I just want to sleep. I'll talk to everyone else tomorrow. I just want to hold her close and make sure she's alright while we sleep," Harry asked. Once again, his Head of House nodded.
Harry watched her leave and decided that he wanted a shower before turning in. There was a bathroom connected to the room so he rummaged through Hermione's beaded bag and found himself clothes to change into. It was much to his surprise to find that their wands had been stuffed inside as well, though how they got there he wasn't sure. Had the snatchers shoved them in there to hide them? Had Ron picked them up off the snatchers Bellatrix had killed and put them there? He supposed it didn't matter since their wands were there and ready to use.
Harry showered off quickly, using whatever shampoo were already in the tub. It smelled faintly of something that reminded him of Remus but he couldn't be sure. He used Draco's wand to dry himself off, it still felt like a good fit for him, better than his father's wand. He quickly dressed in some flannel bottoms and crawled in bed behind Hermione. He snuggled up behind her and buried his nose in her hair, surprised it still smelled like her shampoo after not showering that day and his tears from the night before. His hand caressed her belly, mindful of the bandages on her knife wounds. It wasn't hard to picture her belly rounded with his child. He bet that she was going to be even sexier pregnant. Deciding that these thoughts would lead to nothing but more tears, he closed his eyes and focused on clearing his mind like Snape had tried to teach him during his fifth year. If there was ever a time where he needed a clear mind, this was it.
Eventually it worked, his mind emptying of everything but the girl in his arms. He was completely relaxed as Morpheus pulled him into his care.