I awoke with a start, my body lurching up before it was wrapped in a warm embrace. I turned and found Angela who's eyes were wet and red from crying and that was enough for me to know. Arthur really was gone. My own eyes were itchy and felt raw and I figured I must have been crying in my sleep, and found that I couldn't stop myself now. I hugged her back tightly as tears flowed anew.
"Alice, no!" I heard a voice yell and I don't know where it came from but my body over on it own. I had slipped from Angela's comfort and was out of the wagon heading towards the voice before I even knew what was happening. What I came across broke my heart even more as I saw Alice with a bleeding wrist and a knife ready to do the same to the other. Helen was gripping Alice's arm to keep her from bringing the blade down. Mother looked nothing like I knew her to be. She was haggard, hair disheveled and a ghostly look to her face even as she struggled with Helen.
Before I knew it I had ran forward and clasped both my hands around her wrist. The only thought in my mind being to try and stop the blood from pouring out it quickly coated my hands and was both sticky and slippery as my hands slipped while trying to hold it close. The coppery smell stinging my nose as their struggle stopped. I looked over to them where they were just staring at me in shock. I couldn't stop the tears that fell as I looked back at her wound.
"Please heal." My voice came out hoarse and broken as if I had been screaming. "Please heal! I can't lose my mom too." I muttered biting my lip to keep from choking up, a hand came into view and rested on my own. I noticed that at some point she had dropped the knife that she had been gripping, but I still couldn't bring myself to let go.
"Roland, sweetie. It's alright, I won't do it." My mother's sweet voice spoke, it was the same kind and calming voice I had grown to love about her, but fingers still wouldn't let go.
"I-I can't.. My fingers…" I muttered watching as her other hand moved to stroke my cheek. Two hand moved forward and gently pried my fingers up one by one and all I could do was stare at my blood covered hands. Another pair of hands came into view, with a water and a rag, wiping at my mother's wrist, and another pair wiped mine. I wanted to say thank you, but I couldn't even pull eyes away. Finally the first pair began wrapping and burning Alice's wrist, all the while she had been brushing and stroking my hair while she whispered to me.
When all the blood had finally been washed away and her wound fully wrapped, I felt that I could finally move and I was pulled into her arms. My face buried in her chest as she laid back on the ground cuddling me against her. I had never felt this sort of pain before. Even in my last life I hadn't been especially close to my family. They had been the type to put work over everything else, not abusive just absent.
This… I had never felt so strongly about something before and I knew that I never wanted to feel this way again. I never wanted to lose someone ever again.
It wasn't long as I getting close to falling asleep that my dad entered. He slipped down with us and I heard him talking with mom but I couldn't make out the words as I slowly fell asleep.
When I woke up again the carriage was moving, the familiar rumble and rhythmic thump as we rolled on. Looking beside me I saw my mom sitting close by, her hand clasped around mine as she stared down at me tenderly. She smiled though it didn't quite reach her eyes as pain was still fresh in her gaze.
"Mom. I'm going to get strong. I know I don't have a core yet, but I'll do whatever it takes so that you never have to worry about me." I said feeling strangely serene and resolute about it. Her eyes widened briefly before she gave me a warm smile, brushing my hair back.
"I'll always worry about you. We'll always worry about you, but just promise you'll be careful. And promise that you'll be a good big brother to your sibling." She smiled knowingly and I could feel my eyes widen as I sat up looking at her belly. Her other hand was rubbing it and I cautiously reached out my own to feel.
"I-I promise. I'll be a good big brother, like Arthur had been for me." I felt bad for the pain that crossed her face at the mention of his name, but she just smiled and nodded as she ruffled my hair.
"I know you will." She said.
The mood of the group was that of anguis and sadness. Even Adam's attempts at lightening the mood was met with silence. No one begrudged him for trying as they knew that he was hurting just as much as the rest. I found myself training any time we stopped and found that Jasmine was always hovering nearby. Never too close to be obvious, but whenever our eyes met she would look away with guilt.
I didn't have the words to reassure her or hell to even reassure myself, so I just let her do what she felt she needed to. I mostly stuck to physical training and still trying to form my core. I had pretty much stopped all sword training as holding the wooden sword just didn't feel the same anymore. Everytime I held it my thoughts immediately went to Arthur, and while I would love to carry on using a sword in his honor i know I could never do it justice.
I looked at the rest of the group trying to get an idea for what weapon to take up, though I also hesitated as it wouldn't matter if I ended up being a conjured. Then I finally decided that it would still be good to learn a weapon even if I was a conjured as it would surprise people that might think I couldn't defend myself with a weapon.
I looked at Helen and thought about her bow that she used for her mana archery. It was definitely intriguing, but something just didn't quite feel like it fit. I moved to Adam and his spear and it was definitely cool, along with all the strengths that come with the spear, but still it just didn't quite fit. Theny gaze found Jasmine who was currently holding her two long daggers as she repeated the technique Arthur has taught them.
My thoughts drifted to the knife that she had given me and I wasn't overwhelmed with thoughts of Arthur even though he had had a matching blade. Something about it felt right. Even if I turned out to be a conjurer, if i ever formed my core, it would be easy to conceal even several daggers. Retrieving my dagger from my pack I walked over to Jasmine who stopped practicing when she noticed me approaching.
"Teach me." I said it plainly, not necessarily as a demand, but hopefully. She watched me for several long moments, her eyes flickering between me and likely my parents somewhere behind me. Eventually she looked me in the eyes and nodded one short nod.
"Okay." Her soft voice reached my ears. It both eased my worry and also filled me with anxiety. I couldn't slack off now that I had someone willing to teach me. There was no backing out and that scared me slightly. But I pushed it down, down and down as far as I could leaving only the determination to grow stronger.
I returned her nod as seriously as I could and stepped beside her with the dagger in hand. Except she plucked it from my grasp and shook her head.
"Basics, first." She said as she sheathed her own daggers and placed me in a fighting stance. She showed me several forms and had me go through them, and like this the last couple of days of our journey went by. It was a cruel pill to swallow that we had been so close to our destination. We had finally reached Xyrus City, and I was mesmerized by the giant floating city that all I could think was "how in the world had they done this?" A city sized rock just floating above the ground.
"This really is a fantasy world." I muttered under my breath as I looked at it. I felt the wooden sword at my hip, I couldn't bear to part with it even though I didn't want to train with it. I wish Arthur could have seen this place. Surely even a king would be amazed by this view.