"Lord Rimuru! I drew the Gourmet-Gourmet Fruit!" Shion exclaimed excitedly, her eyes sparkling like stars. "That means my cooking skills are going to improve even more!"
"WHAT!?" Rimuru's face turned pale. That cooking, already comparable to biochemical weapons, was about to be upgraded?! His earlier joy at obtaining the Space Fruit and Origin Flame instantly vanished without a trace.
"Hmm?" Shion tilted her head. "Lord Rimuru, aren't you happy? The food I make for you will be even tastier!"
"Heh… heh…" Rimuru forced a stiff smile. "Of course I'm happy… right?"
Internally, he screamed, Should I just demolish every kitchen in the capital? No… that wouldn't stop Shion. Might as well face it—and drag Benimaru and the others into this. Misery loves company! That's the plan!
Totally unaware of the deadly crisis approaching, Benimaru and the others were busy testing their new abilities.
"Well, I'm off to try out my new powers. Bye, Lord Rimuru!" Shion cheerfully ruffled Rimuru's hair before skipping away.
Staring at her retreating back, Rimuru could only feel a profound sorrow in his soul.
"Gurarararara!" the old man Edward (Whitebeard) roared with laughter. "Looks like fate has paired me with the Quake-Quake Fruit once again! Got it on the first try!"
"Tch, what's so great about that?" grunted Garp, full of disdain. "Check out my Human-Human Fruit – Titan Form! Way cooler than yours."
As Rimuru watched the two old men squabbling over who got the better fruit, he sighed. A bunch of grandpas over fifty acting like schoolkids…
He left the group and went into his underground lab to examine his new Devil Fruits.
Sitting on the floor, Rimuru took out the Space Fruit. It looked like a polyhedral gem, as if it had been sliced a dozen times, adorned with glowing blue runes.
Channeling his internal energy, he infused it into the fruit, absorbing its power directly. In moments, the energy was drained and the fruit crumbled to dust.
Then came the transformation.
Within Rimuru's internal world, an entire starfield began to change. The new starfield shimmered with strange light. When the glow faded, it had become bizarre and beautiful—every star looked fragmented, floating apart chaotically.
But Rimuru could sense the truth: the stars weren't actually broken—the space within them had folded and overlapped, creating an illusion of shattered fragments.
He waved his hand gently. Ripples spread across the surrounding space, then calmed as he pressed his palm down.
"Incredible…" Rimuru smiled. This power was both overwhelming and practical—capable of teleportation, spatial slashes, and more.
He then took out the Origin Flame and absorbed it in the same way.
Another starfield changed—this time, it ignited. Countless stars burst into flame, releasing power capable of burning anything.
Rimuru smiled again. This too is incredibly useful. It enhances my attack power and can even devour other flames to grow stronger.
I wonder how everyone else is doing? he thought, then opened the group chat.
[Chat Log Start]
Rimuru: How's everyone doing with their powers?
Garp: I ate the Titan Fruit. Now when I transform, I'm over 200 meters tall. Edward's gonna have to look up to me now! Bwahahaha!
Whitebeard: Even if you're 2,000 meters tall, I'll still beat you so bad your own mother won't recognize you.
Rimuru: Can you two take a break for once?
Benimaru: I got the Explosion Fruit. Pretty solid power boost—thank you for your concern, Lord Rimuru.
Hakurou: I received the Slash-Slash Fruit. Doesn't help me much, but it's still a good ability.
Veldora: I think mine's called the Fission Fruit? I can spit explosive shells. Doesn't seem that useful…
Fission Fruit? Rimuru's eyes widened. Is Veldora turning into Godzilla? A walking nuke?
Sengoku: Why are your fruits so powerful!? Mine is the Sweet-Sweet Fruit! What am I supposed to do with that!?
Everyone instantly pictured the same nightmare:
An enemy soldier stands in front of Sengoku. Sengoku says with an arrogant smirk, "No matter your sins, I'll forgive you… because I'm just that charming." Then he blows a kiss.
Terrifying.
Rimuru shuddered. No power in the universe is scarier than that image.
Garp: Hahahaha! Sengoku, just eat it! Imagine you blow a kiss, and the enemy dies of nausea. Victory without combat!
Sengoku's face turned a dark purple. Without a word, he transformed and charged at Garp. If I don't beat that idiot into a coma today, I'll write my name backward!
[Meanwhile…]
Shion: Lord Rimuru, I just finished a new recipe! I'll bring it right over!
Rimuru: Oh! I just remembered—I have something important to do! Yes, that guild HQ project! I'll be busy for the next few days. No need to bring the food. Bye!
Shion (T_T): Oh no, I can't let you taste my cooking today. But I'll make more once you return!
Rimuru was filled with despair. Is there no escape from this culinary judgment?
Shion: So, who wants to try today's meal?
Benimaru: Uh, I have military duties. Gotta go!
Gale: I've got some urgent house repairs. Sorry!
Hakurou: I must go train my swordsmanship. Farewell.
Everyone who knew Shion's cooking skill level made excuses and fled. But a few brave newbies decided to take on the Queen of Dark Cuisine.
Garp: None of you want to eat? Count me in!
Whitebeard: I'd love to try your cooking too. Sign me up!
Shion: Great! I made a whole lot, so anyone interested, just come over!
No. No one else is interested.
The rest of the group shared a solemn moment of silence.
May Whitebeard and Garp rest in peace.
Amen.