"Coming~!"
chirped a high-pitched voice as my bedroom door burst open.
There she stood: a catgirl... with wings... in a uniform... tail twitching... ears perked. Wearing the kind of military attire you'd expect from a particularly horny mobile game.
"Um," I croaked from bed. "What?"
"Morning, Commander!" she saluted, grinning. "I'm here to escort you to the Shifter Barracks. Meow!"
"…You just said 'meow.' Out loud."
"Oh. Sorry. It's a verbal tick! Purrr—I mean, habit! I'll stop. Maybe. Meow" The last word hesitantly quieter.
God help me, she's adorable and unbearable at the same time.
I sat up, groaning. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go."
Her smile somehow got bigger. "You seem extra peppy this morning! Did something good happen? Purrrhaps a little company in bed~?"
My face immediately caught fire.
"N-no! Absolutely not! And stop doing that purr thing. It's-It's weird!"
"I just meant you seem… different," she said, genuinely. "Not bad. Just… softer. Happier. Less… ready to execute someone for looking at you sideways."
"Maybe I'm evolving."
"I like this version. Meow- I mean, sorry!"
I sighed and stood, adjusting the cape on my uniform. "What's your name again?"
"Lieutenant Julie Yadira!" she beamed. "Your second-in-command, emotional support, battle strategist, and probably your girlfriend. Technically."
"…What?"
"Well, you never confirmed it, but we cuddle sometimes, and you let me call you cute things off-duty, and that totally counts where I come from!"
"...Right."
I really need to learn more about who this demon general was before I stole her skin.
"So…" I asked carefully, "what do you think of me? Like, how would you describe me?"
Julie's ears twitched. "O-Oh! Well, you're terrifying. And inspiring. You always put others first. You're super commanding. You expect everyone to rise to your level. You hate when I flirt in public, but secretly like it. Probably." She said them so fast I was barely keeping up.
"That's… a lot."
"I could go on."
"Please don't."
Outside, the sun had barely risen. A polished obsidian carriage waited at the gate, pulled by two centaurs in chrome-plated armor. Julie carried me bridal-style down the stairs before I could protest.
"I can walk, you know."
"But why would you, when you look so princess-core right now~?"
She deposited me at the carriage door and skipped ahead to open it.
I climbed in, then leaned out the window and said, "Sprint like your lives depend on it!"
"YES, COMMANDER!" both centaurs barked in unison and we took off.
"So what exactly is happening today?" I asked once we hit cruising speed.
"Annual Shifter Trials!" Julie chirped. "You get to watch the recruits beat each other up in a giant arena, then pick your favorites for special training!"
"And I do this every year?"
"Yup!"
"Great," I muttered. "Nothing screams leadership like a live-action tournament arc."
Also, Julie had moved closer.
Too close.
Her arms snuck around my waist.
"Also, have I told you lately how soft you are now?"
"Julie-"
She groped me.
"G-Get off before I kick your head off your neck!"
"Too late~" she purred, burying her face into my shoulder.
"Do that again and I'll rip your tail off," I snarled, suddenly sounding like a half-drunk old man with lung damage.
"Aww, there's my Leni~"
"Back off!"
She kissed my cheek.
Goddammit, this is harassment, but it's also... alarmingly effective.
SkreeeCH.
"Commander!" one centaur panted. "We've arrived."
I leaned out of the window.
The sky was still dark, lit by a massive red moon. Before us loomed a castle-sized arena, built in jagged obsidian, rimmed with glowing runes. The gates were open. Hundreds of monsters were already gathered.
Julie bounced in place. "Yay! I love this place! New blood! Smells like ambition and armpit!"
A tall, elderly lizard man in ceremonial robes awaited us at the gate, leaning on a gnarled staff.
"Welcome, General Lenigeaer, Lieutenant Yadira. We are honored by your presence once again for the Yearly Selection. May today's recruits impress you."
I nodded solemnly. "Let's get this over with."
Julie squealed, "Let's gooooo!"
The inside of the complex was even more overwhelming.
Massive training grounds. Dozens of fighting rings. Obstacle courses. Magic dueling pits. Hundreds-no, thousands of shifters were in various stages of sparring, transforming, screaming, or psyching themselves up.
"This place is huge," I whispered. "How does anyone survive it?"
"You said you loved it last year," said the lizard man with a faint smile.
"...Of course I did."
"Let us begin," he said. "We've prepared the arena as requested."
Julie clapped her hands. "Okay, recruits! Line up! Show the General what you're made of!"
At once, the chaos stopped. Recruits snapped into formation. Ten rows of twenty. Every monster stood still. Waiting.
Then-
"Construct the Arena!" barked the lizard.
The front lines sprinted forward, shifting as they ran, turning into dwarves.
Tiny. Muscular. Efficient.
They pulled tools from nowhere and began building. Hammers. Nails. Stone. Ropes. A giant platform took shape in minutes.
Julie leaned in. "It took them 239 tries to rehearse this."
"Seriously?"
"They wanted to impress you."
The dwarves finished, shifted back, and rejoined their lines in silence.
Everyone stared at me.
"You were... very efficient," I said awkwardly.
The lizard man smiled. "They're beaming inside."
Sure, they are. That harpy hasn't blinked once, and a fly is on his eye.
"Let the trials begin!" the lizard man declared.
"First match: 200-monster free-for-all. Survivors earn advancement."
"TWO HUNDRED?!" I gasped.
"Still not enough to fill the arena," Julie replied, unbothered.
The brawl began.
And I mean brawl.
Claws, wings, fire, magic, teeth, tail-whips, backflips. I saw a centaur dropkick a cyclops. A harpy ripped out a banshee's weave.
"How do I pick someone from this?"
"You don't," said the lizard man. "We wait for two to be left standing."
Eventually, emphasis on eventually, only two remained.
A massive Golem, thick with stone armor.
And a burning, golden-eyed Ifrit, smaller, faster, breathing heavily.
Julie squealed, "Ooh! An underdog match!"
"The Golem always wins," muttered the lizard. "They've dominated this trial for five years."
"Not this time!" the Ifrit cried. "I, Abdul Shareed, will not fail!"
The Golem laughed. "Prepare to be extinguished, flame-boy."
The fight began.
And it was glorious.
Abdul leapt, dodged, burned, exploded, faked his own death, and ultimately tore the Golem's heart out from the inside.
It was honestly too fast of a fight, it lasted all of 5 minutes.
Silence followed.
Then thunderous applause.
Julie was halfway to fangirling herself unconscious.
And me?
I stood.
"Name."
"Abdul, of Clan Shareed!" he shouted, chest heaving.
"Welcome to the Shifters," I said, trying to sound like someone who wasn't sweating from head to toe.
"YES, MA'AM!" he roared.
Julie sidled up to me. "Can we make him your right-hand man?"
"You're already my right-hand woman."
"Exactly! Balance!"
I sighed. "Abdul. You up for it?"
"I-I'd be honored!"
Julie jumped from excitement.
Did I even do anything today?