Notes:
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
「Speech in the divine language」
◇◇◇◇◇
*Dokun, Dokun*
「I feel disgusted. So stop touching my body and leave me alone. I already feel happy to have myself, and that which is not me, I do not understand and would not like to know.」
*Dokun, Dokun*
◇◇◇◇◇
Ah….
Stars….
I have always loved stars.
A long time ago, I heard that the universe is the very body of God. Therefore, stars are just a part of the living organism called the universe. And that because they are living organisms, and the life that lives in them is like the cells of stars.
In this vast cosmos, various stellar bodies are named "stars". From moons, to true stars, to planets. They are all part of the great living organism that is the universe.
Woosh.
The world in my vision Turned on and off, blinking in bright psychedelic lights.
"Ham?"
I no longer felt pain… in fact, I felt nothing at all, it was as if I was floating in space.
"It's useless."
Even the desperate scream of oneself was erased, a lonely void of nonexistence.
"You're going to die. Now, instinctively, I feel that it's something that must be done, you need to be killed no matter what."
Only that merciless voice remained in my ears, echoing endlessly.
And in the next moment, my existence fell into an abyss of darkness, without understanding anything.
Melting, crumbling, rotting.
Everywhere I looked, wherever I went…
"Ah…"
What is this? A distant memory, from a time long ago.
Something that seems forgotten, but at the same time, something that seems familiar.
What is my name? Nobuaki Sera?
Who is this person in front of me? Did I (he) have a name?
Slowly, I fell into the old and bitter memory, as if it were a cradle that was so familiar and, at the same time, detestable.
The figure I had seen in visions was deformed. It looked like a fetus, a child, a demon, a god, an anomaly, an aberration. It was beautiful, horrible. Perfect, yet flawed, holy, heretical.
What can I say? I wanted to touch it. To feel such solitude and stillness. Such perfection.
「Oh, God, I who am so sick And weak, desire nothing more than to attain such perfection.」
Words I didn't know the meaning of spilled from my lips as my hands tore at the singularity, a search for truth (transcendence) I didn't understand.
"Just a little more, and then–"
Before I could reach it, I heard that heartbeat again.
*Dokun, Dokun*
「Disgusting…let me go, trash, leave me alone. You're ugly, trying to cling to me like a damned piece of trash…die..」
From an incomprehensible Mantra of madness, I was thrown out, and the singularity was closed. And the fetus that briefly opened its eyes for a few moments, closed them again.
It was not yet time for it to awaken. Until this moment came—
「You are nothing but my shit. Therefore, clean up the trash and make me purer. You who were blessed with my shit, do your damned job. Your damned ■■■■■■■!」
●●●●●
"Huuuuh." It was with a restrained sigh that I woke up. The moon was still blinking at me, and the street was still as empty as before. I think I fainted, but what was that?"
Ever since he contracted ■■■■■■■ that put him in the hospital, he had been having these dreams.
"Damn…"
"Hey?" A hoarse and aggressive voice pulled me out of my depressed state, catching my attention.
"Hum?"
"What the hell are you doing on this floor like some trash?" This rude question was soon followed by a kick.
"GAH!" Which hit me directly in the ribs and threw me against the wall next to it.
"W-WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed in indignation and pain, looking in the direction of my attacker, I could see that he was a pale man, he was definitely an albino. His white hair and wild red eyes gave away that appearance. But, I felt that despite his "sickly pale" tone, he was overflowing with vitality.
"Go die somewhere else, you little shit!"
He was wearing gray, but shabby-looking clothes. He didn't seem like someone to be confronted.
"I-I'm so s-sorry—" Normally, I would apologize and run away, but…for some reason…at this moment, I felt like kneeling down and apologizing would be something I would regret. As if it went against my very being to acknowledge anyone other than myself as an equal. "No…y-you must apologize!" I shouted with my chest tight at him.
However–
"Ga…hahha…HAHAHHAHAHAHAH" he laughed in response, the albino man holding his belly from laughing so hard. At this moment I could see that he had pronounced canines, like some kind of wild animal.. "Hahahaha! Look at that~ a forest monkey is trying to fight me? Know your place—!" After finishing his laughter, he quickly marched towards me and grabbed me by the collar to his height (which was almost a head taller.) "Say that to my face again, you damn brat."
His hissing voice and his fangs were threatening from so close. His body felt ice cold, as if he were a damn living corpse.
"I—Gah!" My response was interrupted by a fist sinking into my windpipe, stealing my oxygen and making me a hand's breadth away from fainting.
"Tsk. Trash!" Quickly, the albino bandit threw me to the ground, spitting next to me, and with his hands in his pockets, he began to walk away. "It's not even worth killing…"
I was weak…so weak…how could it be…I should be strong…be the strong man that ■■■■■■ wants to have by his side…
"Grrr..I…AM NOT WEAK!" Standing up in an undignified manner, I ran after my attacker, and as shameful as it was, I attacked him from behind, landing a kick directly on his private parts from behind, before he could turn around.
"GAAAAH!" with a high-pitched, undignified scream, he fell to the ground in agony.
"Ah…ah…sorry…but I don't intend to play fair." I said, feeling blood on my cracked lips.
"Ah…y-you…DAMN YOU." This seemed to enrage him even more, his ruby eyes glowed like living blood, and like a possessed zombie, he rushed at me and punched me in the face.
"GAH! HA!" I returned with a punch to his neck.
And so, in an almost possessed way, we began to beat each other in the deserted and abandoned street.
I don't know how many minutes or hours we spent fighting like two lunatics. I only know that it was a long time, even when my teeth were grinding until they seemed to break, even when my wrist was broken and my fist was grazed, even when blood was running from my eyes, mouth and nose or my leg was dislocated, I continued the fight with my fists and feet.
Such an act to hurt, no… on the path we were on, it was practically an attempted mutual murder. But I know that in the end, we both fell into the piles of rubble that I was before.
"Ah…ah…ha… you're tough…you brat…"
The savage's high-pitched, hoarse roaring voice woke me from my delirium.
"Ham? What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, not having the strength to even turn my head, I just admired the stars, and let the pain consume my body.
"Ah…it's been a long time since anyone faced me like this…they're all annoying cowards…" The savage grumbled, I knew he was as hurt as I was, but it seemed his tolerance was greater than mine, almost inhuman. "What's your name, brat?"
"..." I wondered if it was worth revealing my name to someone like that, it would be dangerous, but at that moment, I couldn't feel afraid of him, no, I felt better, I was absolute in that moment. Maybe that's why I briefly said my name: "Sera…Nobuaki Sera."
I heard a grumble coming from him, along with a nasal snort.
"What a shitty name…" he grumbled, before laughing briefly. "Kahaha…my name is William…" he replied.
….
After that Exchange, we remained lying there, in that place, as if we were corpses. Darkness briefly began to cover my vision again. But before I passed out, I heard his voice again.
"If we survive this, you owe me, brat…besides, I think—"
Before I could hear the rest of his sentence, I blacked out, letting the darkness take me again.
◇◇◇◇◇
William's POV
William heard when the brat, Nobuaki, passed out, the little shit gave a sharp sigh of pain and remained silent.
"Tsk... weak piece of shit..."
Despite the words, he couldn't help but smile from reaching his lips. It had been a long time since someone had stood up to him. He loved it.
It was for moments like these that William lived. Moments when the blood pumped throughout his body and his adrenaline rose. He lived for this! He wasn't like the cowardly little shits who hid behind a "social" veil. He was a beast who knew what he wanted, and didn't deny his "Ego", fuck what everyone else thought!
"Tsk... I'm going to have to carry you, right?"
William didn't come out of the "fight" unscathed, his bones creaked, his left arm was broken and he could barely contract his lungs without his ribs tearing through his chest, his right eye was fucked and his jaw was on the verge of fragmenting.
But even in this situation, William laughed, he was satisfied. Among these cowardly worms of this shitty country, he found someone interesting. Even though he would probably have to remove that spark for him to wake up.
"Hey, Gaki*, I'm still going to give you that beating back, you damn thing, kukukuHAHAHAHAHA!" Even with his lungs hurting and blood coming out of his lips, for the first time in a long time, William laughed with genuine excitement and anticipation. Even lying on the ground, in his mind, the man didn't consider himself a "loser", he had lost that ability.
*paff, paff, paff*
"Are you dead?" and then, as if condensed from the darkness, a rude and feminine voice questioned them. William didn't even bother to look as he replied:
"Hum? Get out of here, brat! A fight between two men is no place for a woman."
"Tsk, how rude, you asshole! My name is Manase, Akira Manase, use it!" The girl, Akira, or whatever the hell her name was, grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and began dragging him and the brat off the ground.
"Hello?.." he yelled, as he tried in vain to free himself, but the broken bones made it difficult.
"LET ME GO YOU LITTLE BITCH—GAH!" As if to shut him up, she gave his jacket a strong tug, which tightened his throat and prevented him from speaking.
"Tsk, idiot! I was grateful! I know this kid, and his sister will beat the crap out of you if she finds out! Lucky for you I'm saving you!" The little shit yelled as she continued to drag them effortlessly. From what he could see at a glance, she was quite athletic and strong for a woman.
"Tsk…do whatever you want…"
And with that, he felt himself blacking out, it felt like he was going to be in a hell of a lot of pain when he woke up.
◇◇◇◇◇
[Next day]
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"
"OW OW OW—SISTER STOP—GAAAAAH"
A commotion was occurring in one of the shared rooms of the general hospital. The nurses who passed by laughed slightly worried for their patient, while the patients just shook their heads at the scene in front of them.
Nobuaki Sera was being punished by his older sister after being hospitalized for a fight. As soon as Mizuki found out, she came running after her brother, fearing for his life. His injuries were many, many fractures and bruises, but still, when she arrived, it was to see her youngest son talking animatedly with a delinquent, and worse.
THE SAME DELINQUENT WHO PUT HIM THERE!!
The purple-haired brothers fought and argued among themselves, Mizuki's scarlet eyes shining with fury and her brother's with fear.
"—AND WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO KILL YOURSELF, HUH, YOU IDIOT?!"
"S-SISTER… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MY RIB… OH OH OH!"
Mizuki pulled him by the ear with a strength that seemed otherworldly, as if all the pain from the fight the night before wasn't enough. William, lying on a nearby bed, laughed lightly, but each laugh made his collarbone protest. He muttered something between his teeth like: "It seems like the brat suffers more at home than with me…"
"I HEARD THAT, YOU DESTROYED WHITE GIRL!"
"GAHAHAHAHA!"
William didn't care. His eyes were half-closed, watching Mizuki with some interest. There was something about her – the sparkle in her eyes, the strength, the fury. A kind of strength that he respected. The kind of person who wouldn't bow her head. Maybe it ran in the family?
"You, brat… Mizuki, right? Hmph… you have the same eyes as him. But you seem to have more spine."
Mizuki gave him a razor-sharp look, and William almost choked on the tension in the air.
"If you touch my brother again, paleface, I swear I'll rip your liver out with my hands."
"…Heh… I like intense girls."
*SMACK!*
She threw a pillow at William's face with surprising force. Nobuaki watched the scene with wide eyes, already imagining a new outbreak of violence.
"O-Okay! Enough! Peace, PEACE for heaven's sake!"
The atmosphere softened for a second. Mizuki snorted, crossing her arms and walking away, sitting in one of the chairs with a frown.
"You're lucky to be alive, Nobuaki…more than you know."
Her words carried a strange weight, as if they hid more than just a simple fraternal scolding. William noticed.
"Hmph. What kind of riddle was that? There's something behind this brat, isn't there?"
She looked away, her scarlet eyes avoiding contact.
"…He's not like the others, he's fragile."
The one who felt the pain of these words the most was Nobuaki himself.
Silence fell for a moment. A thick silence, broken only by the rhythmic beeping of the devices.
William laughed again, but now there was something different in his tone.
"So that's why he had those eyes during the fight… he looked like a living corpse trying to break free from its tomb. I thought I was seeing things."
Nobuaki tried to protest, but a sharp pain in his side silenced him. He leaned back, staring at the ceiling, his eyes traveling to the fluorescent light.
Yes, he knew. He knew there was something wrong with him.
*Dokun, Dokun.*
The subtle, rhythmic sound rang out again in his mind. The heartbeat. That damn heartbeat.
Mizuki stood up suddenly.
"You two… need to rest. We'll talk later."
Before leaving the room, she gave William one last look.
"And you… stay away from my brother. Or I swear I'll make you disappear."
"Good luck with that." William replied with a feral smile.
When she left, silence returned. Nobuaki slowly turned his head to William, who was staring at the ceiling, serious for the first time.
"…Yes," William said, "we will fight again. But next time, it won't be a brawl between kids."
"…I know," Nobuaki replied, his voice barely audible.
Because, deep down, he felt it too: for some reason, he and William were drawn to conflict.
___
Author's Notice : As I saw that MANY people do not know the original work, I decided to answer some questions in the form of mini-glossaries with information from the original work and the fic. The contents of the glossary are taken from the original work, so if you are lost, be guided by them.
Glossary 1:
1st *Divinities of Search and Conquest*
Divine aspects of this world, also called "Gudou" and "Hadou" in lost languages.
° "Gudou" Gods are warriors and Fighters, beings who seek the truth within themselves and achieve Individual enlightenment, elevating their being to a transcendental level. Beings of this type have bodies like their own cosmos. Their body is nothing more than a condensed living universe, and their law Affects only their body (universe). There can be several gudou gods, because their paths Will not conflict, since they seek the individual truth (law).
° "Hadou" Gods are natural conquerors, leaders and kings. Beings of this Level achieve Hegemony by reaching a level of desire to "change the world." Beings of this type also possess universal mass, however, their mass is constantly expanding, consuming and painting everything with their will (law). Gods of this type cannot coexist, because their nature is to overcome everything with their will, since they seek the conquest of the world, and consequently the conqueror with the smallest territory and painting is overthrown, and only 1 can exist at a time.
2nd *Sensor*:
Normally, Deities cannot exist in the mortal realm, because their divine mass is of extraordinary size. Where a single drop of blood has the weight of neutron stars, their body is a universe of its own and would crush creation if it were touched. For this reason, "Sensors" exist, incarnated gods, divine receptacles that act as a "sense of touch" and "Will (avatar) of the god" in the world. Even if unconsciously, the sensor will always act according to the will of his original "SELF". And the closer he is to recovering his memories of being a "god", the more connected to the god he is, being able to return and completely assume the personality and will of the original god. Sensors are normally born from mothers chosen by the god, randomly or predicted. A sensor is a sensory for his original SELF.
3rd *Anima Entelechia*:
Name given to the world (multiverse) of the 5th Era. A world governed by the law of eternal reincarnation, all living beings are constantly reincarnating and accumulating karma, if his life was horrible, in the next his karma will be converted to positive. A world where everyone has a chance to grow, eternal lives with different nationalities, genders, ideologies and ways of living, a world where everyone experiences everything in the universe through constant eternal reincarnation. Even gods are still influenced by it and capable of reincarnation.
Extra:
*Nobuaki Sera*
° The Young Co-Protagonist of this world. A sick and weak young man who lived his life in search of the "perfect body." For some reason he has a childhood friend who can't remember a name, and constantly dreams of a being who claims to be "ME" and "GOD." A young man who, without knowing it, is the vessel of something even greater, a cancer for creation itself.