This is what I get for lying. I deserve this.
I wince as I watch Briar and Xander hug for what feels like ten hours. I really hope she isn't seeing him. I really, really hope. How can I compete with that. The guy is seriously good looking. He's so tall and thin he should be on a runway. But worst of all, he knows it. He's all mystery and confidence and I hate it.
"What's wrong with you?" Aki plops down next to me on the sunbed. "You look like you just walked in on your dad jerking off."
"I feel like I'm witnessing my dad jerking off." I jerk my head in the direction of Briar and Xander by the bar. "Look at them."
"Oh."
"Oh?" I turn to glare at him, "What do you mean 'oh'?"
"I had a feeling something was going on between them, but I didn't know for sure."
"Great." I fall face-first onto the lounger, hoping that by some miracle I'll teleport back home so I can spend my summer wallowing alone like the loser I am.
"You have nothing to worry about. Briar would never go for a guy like Xander. He's too soft…too gentile and sweet."
I lift my and glare at him. "I'm soft and gentle and sweet!"
"Yes, but you have ammunition he doesn't and will never possess."
"What's that?"
"For starters? You don't want her to change for you."
"True," I sit up, now intrigued. "What else?"
He grins, stands, and takes a long sip of his drink. "You have me to make you look good."
"What do you suggest?" I ask, barely able to hide the panic in my voice.
He looks down at me. "Take your shirt off."
My breath catches. "What?"
"Take. It. Off."
"Why?"
He smacks the back of my head. "Because you're going to jump in the pool, dumbass. Also, you're a competitive swimmer, I know you're ripped. And we," he grabs my arm and yanks me up, "are going to show that off."
I stumble to my feet, my heart beating faster than it should for something this stupid. The late evening sun feels a bit warmer now, painting the beach in colors orange, red, and pink. I look over at Briar. She's tossing her head back, laughing at something Xander said, her fingers brushing his arm like she doesn't even know she's doing it.
My jaw clenches. Screw it.
I start unbuttoning my dress shirt, trying not to overthink and talk myself out of doing it. I let it fall onto the sunbed behind me. The sun feels warm on my bare skin, and I stretch my arms like I'm shaking off nerves before a meet.
"Damn boy, you're even turning me on," Aki says.
I smirk at him.
"Okay," Aki says. "First you're going to walk over there and pour yourself a drink. Then you're gonna head to the pool, climb up the waterfall thingy—"
"The grotto," I correct him, matter of factly.
"Whatever. You're gonna climb it. Then you're going to jump off. Think you can handle that?"
"Bitch, please." I start walking backwards towards the bar, flashing him a cocky grin, that I'm surprised at how naturally it comes. "With my eyes closed."
I catch him laughing just before I turn around. I'm surprised when Ariana stops me on the way. She's beautiful in a different way from Briar. Briar is exotic and radiant, the kind that draws you in. But Ariana is deviously and unapproachably beautiful, like the universe sculpted her out of ice and glass. And with her standing this close, hearing her voice say my name, I become embarrassingly nervous.
I scratch the back of my head, suddenly aware of how shirtless I am. "Hey, Ariana."
She gives me a slow, deliberate one-over. A girl has never looked at me like this before. I'm not quite sure what it means, I just copy her, looking her up and down.
She laughs. "Can't believe you've been hiding all this from us."
I laugh awkwardly.
"Want a drink?" She asks, already moving toward the bar, no doubts that I will follow.
"Yeah. Sure."
We walk together, and I rack my brain for something to say but come up with nothing so I just keep quiet. I feel Briar's eyes on me before I actually look at her. She doesn't say anything, not at first. Just watches. But when Ariana hands me a drink, Briar eagerly lifts her own cup like
"I already got you a drink," Briar says.
I finally look over, acknowledge the drink. "Ah, don't worry about it."
Ariana leans her elbow on the bar and turns fully toward me. "If I had a body like that, I'd never wear clothes.
The she pauses, eyes flicking to my chest. "Do you mind?"
It takes me a second to realize what she means. Her hand is half raised, like she's waiting for permission to touch.
"Go for it," I say, lifting the cup to my lips.
I try my hardest not to wince as the drink burns my throat and chest. Yep. I still hate alcohol.
With the first graze of Ariana's fingers on my abs, my muscles instinctively tense up. She glances up at me and laughs before flattening her palm and dragging it across my stomach, exploring the entire area.
"Having fun?" I ask, voice even, somehow.
Safe to say that I have never been touched by a girl before, not like this. Not in broad daylight. On the outside, I'm calm, I'm chill, acting as if this is normal territory for me. But on the inside? I'm freaking out. Like actually freaking out. Majorly, hormonally, freaking out. In other words, she's definitely giving me a hard on.
"Okay!" I say a little too quickly, grabbing her hands and peeling them off my skin as if they're radioactive.
She, laughs, amused. "Seems like you need to cool off,"
I'm not sure if I'm imagining the seductive tone to her voice but either way, I latch onto the escape. "Great idea."
I hand her my drink, heart hammering, before unbuttoning my shorts.
"What are you doing?" Briar's voice cuts through the little bubble me and Ariana found ourselves in.
Finally. She speaks.
I don't answer. I don't think I'm able to form words. I just shoot her a grin and kick off my shoes. My shorts follow, pooling at my feet as I step out of them, leaving me in nothing but black boxers (you'd have to look real close to see the spiderman print on the waist band).
I'm not uncomfortable in my skin. I wear much less than this at swim meets. Only difference is that I'm next to a bunch of dudes. Not on display for two strikingly beautiful ones.
I stand there in just my boxers, feeling a bit chilly as the day dies down and the ocean pushes cooler air towards the beach house. I see Briar's eyes widen slightly, and a small smirk tugs at the corner of my mouth as I meet her gaze.
I make sure to put on a show, stretching my arms overhead and rolling out my shoulders like I'm warming up for a race. My legs follow as I lazily and effortlessly stretch them out before heading to the pool.
I climb up the grotto and stand on top of it. It's so much higher than it looked from the lounger. The drop looks twice as long. Suddenly the water looks really cold.
I breathe in. Then out. Just like I do on meet days to get the last-minute jitters out, shutting off my brain and remembering that I'm a swimmer, I'm built for this shit.
The chatter around the pool grows quieter as everyone notices me. I spot Aki across the pool, holding up a dramatic thumbs-up like a proud mom.
I glance over to the bar.
Briar stands under the LED lights, her features bathed in ocean blue colors. She's looking at me, half confused and half amused, almost as if she's reading a book she's not sure how to feel about. Her expression takes me back to somewhere familiar. My first memory of her—of us. We've been here before, except back then, she was the taking the leap of the rock and I was the one watching from the ground.
I smile. Not at her, because of her. Then I look away.
Ariana catches my eye and waves at me. I throw her a quick, awkward one back. It feels weird. Like I'm playing a role I haven't rehearsed for.
Before anxiety overcomes me again, I back up a few steps and take a running leap into the pool. The water crashes around me, warm and clean, swishing in my ears. I sink deep into it, staying under for a few beats more before swimming to the surface. And immediately duck back under as a everyone jumps in after me.
After spending my entire adolescence in my room studying, and planning for my future, I can safely say that this is the most fun I've ever had. Like come on, I'm night swimming with a bunch of cool kids at a beach house that we have to ourselves for the entire summer. It doesn't get any better than this. I feel relaxed and at ease, a feeling that I hardly ever feel outside of being out on the ocean.
It's nice to feel alive for a change.
I swim to the edge of the pool where Briar is standing. She stoops down and says, "I thought I'd have to worry about you here with my friends, but you really know how to hold your own."
I laugh, "You think you're the only cool one on the block?"
"The block?" Her head falls back on a laugh and my heart does a summersault for feels like the tenth time I made her laugh today.
"Yeah, they call me Romie from the block."
"Okay, Romie from the block, I think you've had too much to drink."
"And I think," I grab her wrist, "that you're entirely too dry for this conversation."
I pull her in.
She screams and I find myself laughing till my stomach hurts and I have to hold onto the edge so that I don't swallow too much chlorine and drown.
My eyes find Aki near the shallow end of the pool, my sister on his back, he smirks at me and pride swells in my chest.
Keith turns the speakers on before jumping in himself.
I could get used to this.