Year: 2095.
Vending machines can walk, students pilot mechs in P.E., and someone keeps hacking the morning announcements to play Eurobeat.
But somehow… this is still the dumbest thing that's ever happened to me.
After the Cafeteria Incident of 3rd Period, Principal Yamada declared a Level-7 Spaghetti Emergency and canceled the rest of the day.
Something about structural damage, sauce-based injuries, and a legally recognized marinara landslide.
So I went back to my dorm—hoping for peace.
I was wrong.
So very, stupidly wrong.
"Kyaaaaaaah~!"
That was the sound that woke me up.
Followed by a burst of light. And glitter. It got in my mouth. Again.
When my eyes adjusted, there she was—spinning dramatically in the center of my dorm room:
A girl in a blindingly pink magical outfit, twintails defying gravity, and a staff that looked like it belonged to a rejected toy line.
"Who the—HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!"
She struck a pose, sparkles trailing behind her like toxic fairy dust.
"I used the Sacred Roommate Summoning Ritual! The stars aligned, the paperwork was forged, and boom—here I am!"
I looked at the wall.
There was a door-shaped hole in it. Still steaming.
"That's trespassing."
"That's destiny," she replied, twirling.
She tossed me a sketchbook labeled: "Legendary Sidekick Beast: Classified Files."
Inside were badly drawn pictures of me with ferret ears. One had me wearing a cape made of instant noodles.
"You're my prophesied talking animal companion!" she beamed. "I've traveled dimensions to find you!"
"I'm not a ferret."
"That's exactly what a cursed ferret would say."
At that exact moment, Ayaka burst through the ceiling like a glitter-seeking missile.
"UNAUTHORIZED PORTAL ENTRY DETECTED. INITIATING ANTI-MAGICAL GIRL PROTOCOL."
"Hold up—what even is that—"
But it was too late.
Momo: "Sparkle Beam of Eternal Radiance!"
Ayaka: "Trajectory Override Elbow Bomb—V3!"
They collided midair.
There was a flash of light.
My ceiling turned into pudding.
The fire alarm played a jazz solo.
My bed meowed and ran away.
Fifteen minutes later…
We all sat in the ashes of my dorm room, sipping juice boxes in silence.
Momo smiled like she hadn't just committed magical home invasion. "So, I'm your new roommate! Yay!"
"I already live here," Ayaka said, resetting her elbow cannon. "Illegally. But efficiently."
I stared into the distance. "Isn't co-ed dorming banned?"
Momo waved it off. "Interdimensional law overrides school policy."
Ayaka nodded. "Also, the RA resigned last week after the microwave incident."
I was too tired to ask.
Later that night, Momo tried to "reawaken my inner ferret spirit" by pelting me with enchanted marshmallows.
Ayaka installed motion-tracking ceiling lasers.
I cried into my emergency pillow. It turned into a kazoo.