Lucas sat silently as the drone zipped across the city skyline, trying very hard not to scream or throw up.
He was now sitting in what felt like a high-tech Uber with missiles, and across from him was a deadly-looking woman who seemed like she could kill him with a paperclip.
Ava Quinn didn't speak for a full five minutes. She just sat there, arms folded, sunglasses still on despite being inside a sealed vehicle.
Lucas cleared his throat. "Sooo... Ava, right? You do this kind of thing every day?"
Ava didn't answer.
He tried again. "You know, jumping off rooftops, explosions, smoke gum… the usual."
Still nothing.
Finally, the drone landed on top of a sleek silver skyscraper. The door hissed open with a soft whoosh, and Ava stood.
"Move it, Rookie," she said coldly.
"Rookie? But I'm not—never mind." Lucas scrambled after her.
---
They entered through a sliding wall panel, which revealed a corridor that looked like it belonged in a James Bond movie. Every surface glowed with soft blue lights, and people in futuristic uniforms bustled around, typing on floating holographic screens.
In the center of it all was a glass-walled room with a glowing sign that read:
M.A.Y.H.E.M. — Mobile Agency for the Yelling, Handling, and Elimination of Mayhem
Lucas blinked. "Wait, hold up. That's what this agency is called? Mayhem? That's not exactly comforting."
Ava sighed. "You get used to it. Just don't touch anything."
They stepped into a circular room where a large screen dropped down from the ceiling. A middle-aged man with wild gray hair and a beard shaped like lightning appeared on-screen. He wore a neon green lab coat over a suit and sipped from a cup labeled World's #1 Spymaster.
"Agent Zero!" he boomed cheerfully. "Looking… shorter than usual."
Lucas waved awkwardly. "Hi. Yeah. About that—there's been a mix-up."
Ava rolled her eyes. "You think?"
"Shhh," the Spymaster said. "Let me have this. We haven't had a good disaster in weeks."
---
Mission Briefing:
The screen flickered to show a photo of a creepy-looking man with perfect hair, laser-white teeth, and glowing blue eyes.
"This," Spymaster said, "is Dr. Perfect. He used to be a tech billionaire. Now he's a psychotic villain with a mind-control app called GlowMind. It launched yesterday as a meditation tool. In twelve hours, it'll activate and turn every user into his personal army."
Lucas raised a hand. "Okay, but why me?"
Spymaster grinned. "Because the real Agent Zero has gone rogue. And you, dear boy, just activated Zero's last known credentials."
"So I'm the only person who can access his stuff?"
"Exactly!"
Lucas frowned. "That feels like a really dumb system."
"Welcome to MAYHEM," Ava muttered.
---
The Plan:
Lucas's job was simple—
1. Infiltrate Dr. Perfect's tech event.
2. Pretend to be Agent Zero.
3. Plug a virus USB into the mainframe.
4. Escape without dying.
Simple.
Except Lucas didn't even know how to wear a tux properly.
---
As the briefing ended, Ava handed him a small device. It looked like a watch but had buttons, lights, and what might have been a flamethrower nozzle.
"Here's your gadget," she said. "Don't press the red button unless you want to set your pants on fire."
Lucas paused. "Wait, seriously?"
She smirked. "Only one way to find out."
---
As they walked down the hall to prep for the mission, Lucas whispered under his breath:
"This is fine. Everything's fine. I'm totally not about to die pretending to be a superspy while wearing a time bomb on my wrist."
Behind him, Ava added, "Don't forget the exploding coins."