I wake up, disoriented and oddly comfortable—in the arms of a random woman. Her hair smells like herbs and fresh bread, which is nice.
Tiny legs. Tiny arms. Tiny ass body.
Ayee it worked!
But…
My phone.
My computer…
My years of savings…
Gone.
[Look, he's a boy!]
[He's so cute!]
[Oh no, he's crying.]
I'm not crying because I'm a baby. I am crying because I worked three part-time jobs to afford that GPU.
Anyway, What the hell is that language?
[Hold him, Blane!] the woman said cheerfully.
She passed me to the man standing beside her. He was tall, broad, clearly the dad.
Whoa there, easy buddy. Drop me and I'll cry for real.
[I call dibs! He's a swordsman now.]
[That's so unfair!] the woman pouted.
That language still sounds like gibberish.
The room we're in? Fancy. Stone walls, wooden beams, chandeliers. This ain't your regular peasant hut.
Nobles maybe?
I close my eyes and focus. Deep breath. Magic better exist in this world or I swear—
There. I felt it.
I open my eyes. Tiny flecks of glowing particles shimmer in the air. They float like dust in a sunbeam, but tinge with color and life.
MAGIC EXIST!
YES!!
I scan the room again—my parents glowing faintly with magic too. That sealed it. I hit the jackpot.
"Bwaaah guuuh."
Why can't I talk?!
"Guuuwaa baa."
*Bruh.
[HE'S SO DAMN CUTE!] Dad said while pinching my cheek.
[Watch your language!]
[Oh yeah, sorry...]
[What should we name him?]
[Domnus...]
[Domnus? That sounds pretty familiar.]
[It was my grandpa. He died when I was six.]
[This little bastard seems to reminds me of him…]
[LANGUAGE!]
[SORRY!]
[I think Domnus is a great name.] the woman said, smiling.
Domnus sounds pretty lame. But hey, I'm a baby. Not like I can protest.
---
Two years passed.
I've been sacrificing nap time for baby training. I invented a way to use magic to recover from exhaustion—meaning I only needed four hours of sleep. I think.
We live near a forest, fairly distant from the village. Dad's a minor noble, so our place is decent. Still, I keep a low profile.
Mom (Azure Kugurei, apparently) takes me to the market every now and then. I've been eavesdropping for months and now I speak the local language like a native.
Dad's obsessed with swordsmanship. I pretend to admire him, but really, I'm just judging his weak stances and clunky swings. Magical enhancement makes fighters in this world dumb. They just charge, scream, and hope their magic beats the other guy's magic.
I mastered five martial arts before I even died, because my family forced me to. Boxing. Muay Thai. Arnis. Kyokushin. Krav Maga. These fools don't stand a chance.
Even at midnight, while everyone sleeps, I sneak out to practice swordplay on a tree. I've also been refining my magic, manipulating it into thin, nearly indestructible threads to lift and hurl rocks.
One night, I focused my mana into a thin thread, coiled it around a stone, and flung it into a tree. It embedded deep in the trunk like a bullet.
---
During an experiment, I concentrate magic into my arm to punch a tree-
Mom walks in.
"What is he doing...?" Mom thinks.
Crap.
I take a swing and shatter the bark, leaving a crater.
"What do you think you're doing, little man~?" she said, picking me up.
"Oh no."
"Can you put me down?"
"Why? Does my baby not love me anymore?" she said, faking tears, bear-hugging me tightly, practically strangling me.
"I C-can't b-b-bre-breath."
Startled, she releases me, accidentally dropping me.
I position my hands beside me, manipulating gravity to soften my landing. Yes I can now manipulate gravity.
Crap did she notice?
"Oops! Sorry."
"No worries," I said, rubbing my butt.
"Oh your grandparents on your dad's side said that they were gonna visit us tomorrow."
"Really? I haven't seen those guys in a while."
"Anyway, come back inside, it's time to eat!"
"What's for dinner?"
"Mushroom stew, your favorite!"
Mushroom stew is pretty mid but it's alright.
We go back and eat dinner.
---
It's now midnight. Mom and dad are downstairs, talking while washing the dishes.
I sat on the floor, manipulating mana within a folded piece of paper. Slowly, it morphed—cell by cell—into a small, razor sharp white dagger. The edge shimmered unnaturally.
So that's how you do it?
I tried to touch the blade slightly, and got a cut on my finger.
"Ow." I mumble to myself as I put down the dagger to heal my finger.
That dagger seemed pretty dangerous. So I just tossed it under the bed.
Something seems off. My instincts are screaming at me to do something…
Suddenly, footsteps rapidly approach the room.
Dad burst in.
"Domnus! You need to hide!" Dad says alarmingly.
"What? Why?"
"Just do it!"
Dad closed the door and rushed back downstairs.
Is this what I think it is?!
A canon event!
Dad anticipated this too…
"Alright." I say as I blow out the candle and crawl under the bed, where it's completely dark.
---
The door is forcefully kicked open, and a gang of bandits storm in.
"No, please! We don't have enough money ye—"
"SHHH"
Azure's plea is cut short as the bandit captain slits her throat with a broadsword.
Blood sprayed the walls. Her body crumpled like a puppet with cut strings.
"AZURE!" Blane screams, kneeling beside her.
"You monsters!" He shouts, standing up, unsheathing his sword.
"She was just trying to explain our situation!" Blane yells, charging at them.
"RAAAGHH" he roars, slicing one bandit's throat.
"CARL NO!"
"Alright that's enough. Kill him." the bandit captain orders, sheathing back his sword.
Five bandits rush him.
"I will avenge you..." he vows, glancing at Azure.
"WHATEVER IT TAKES!" he shouts, channeling golden magic and lunging at the bandits, killing four before being stabbed by a bandit from behind.
*SHUNK.*
"Damn, he sure put up a fight."
"Hey boss, what were we here for again?"
"They owed us 6,000,000 Zen!"
"Oh..."
"Everyone, start looting this place!"
"Alright, captain!"
They ransack every valuable item downstairs, then ascend the stairs.
---
Footsteps...
Why are there so many? I count at least six.
I'm just gonna continue hiding here.
There are four rooms upstairs, excluding the bathroom. One bandit enters each room, two enter this room, and two enter the room right beside.
Two bandits enter this room.
Wait. Did they kill my parents?
They look pretty weak though.
I'm just gonna wait and see what they're doing.
The two bandit's rummage through the room
Bandit 1 approaches the bed I'm hiding underneath to flip the mattress and see what's hidden underneath it.
Woah. Woah. Too close there buddy.
I send a magic thread into his pants and up into his anus, thin enough to be undetectable. I guide it to his heart and constrict it until it splits.
His heart ripped in half.
He dies instantly. Before he can fall, I extend my left hand, emitting multiple luminous green threads to catch him.
A few minutes pass and Bandit 1 is still standing still.
"Dave? What did you find?"
Silence.
"DAVE!"
More silence.
"Goddammit, stop playing with me," Bandit 2 says, as he approaches the standing corpse.
Come on... a little closer... Gotcha.
As Bandit 2 walks closer, I extend my right hand, sending two glowing green threads from my index and middle fingers into his nostrils, blending his brain before he realizes.
His brain liquified. Blood poured from his eyes.
*Thud.*
Damn, I was too focused on holding up his buddy's body and blending his brain to catch him!
I extend both hands, releasing dozens of green threads to lay both bodies on the bed.
I hurry to the back of the door and wait.
"What was that noise?"
"Dave...? Larry?"
Bandit 3 enters through the slightly open door.
The door suddenly shuts, enveloping the room in darkness.
"The hell, Dave... STOP SLEEPING ON THE JOB."
"Wait, who closed the door..." Bandit 3 says, turning around.
A green thread swiftly wraps around Bandit 3's neck, decapitating him and cutting his sentence short.
His head tore clean off and slammed against the wall. Blood sprayed like a fire hydrant.
Too easy!
Three down. Three more to go, I think.
I'll just wait here; I don't think I can take on three at once.
But first I'm gonna make them look like they're asleep.
---
Minutes pass. The bandits finish looting. All doors are open, except one...
"Has everyone finished looting?" the bandit captain asks.
"Where's Jeremy?"
"Dave and Larry are gone too."
They all glance at the closed door.
"Dammit, are they slacking off again?" the bandit captain says, opening the door and entering.
Green threads of magic suddenly wrap around the bandit captain's neck, decapitating him and spilling blood everywhere.
The door immediately shuts.
"What the hell. Is this place haunted or something?" Bandit 4 says, trembling in fear.
"BOSS!!" Bandit 5 shouts, opening the door and charging in.
The door closes shut again.
"Why are you all rushing to your deaths?"
"Well, it doesn't matter."
"What's good, pops?"
He froze. Bandit 5 is in shock, as he sees a 2 year old toddler, sitting on the corpses of his comrades.
"Hey, Captai-?" Bandit 5 says, noticing the captain's decapitated head.
"You wanna be next?" I ask, interrupting him.
"YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHI—!"
Green threads of magic suddenly wrap around his neck and—
*Thump.*
Too late.
---
*Thump.*
"Jared...?" Bandit 4 shouts, horrified.
Silence.
"Oh hell no. I'mma bounce," Bandit 4 says, turning to flee.
*Creak.*
"Where do you think you're going?" a three-foot-tall bloodstained toddler says, emerging from the door, holding something behind him, and smiling.
"Did this toddler kill the captain? How?! Is he possessed or something?!" Bandit 4 thinks, panicking.
"Uhh, my mom's calling me. I gotta go home, hehe..." Bandit 4 says, sweating.
"Speaking of which... Where's my mom?"
"Oh well... this is the end for me," Bandit 4 thinks, accepting his fate.
"Uhh, I think she's downstairs… Anyway, I gotta go!" Bandit 4 says, preparing to run.
"Oh no, you don't."
"Well, I think I deserve this..." Bandit 4 thinks, resigning.
I throw the white dagger with full force.
*THUNK.* Straight into the nape. He died instantly.
*Thud.*
Damn. That's pretty impressive, considering I crafted it from paper earlier.
Time to loot these fools. Payback
I search Bandit 4's corpse.
Ooh a pouch. How much is in it?
THEY'RE ALL GOLD COINS?!
---
Minutes pass after I count it all.
This guy's carrying around fifty gold coins?!
Since one gold coin is worth one hundred silver and one silver is worth a hundred copper, and one copper is one zen…
Uhh… 100×100= 10,000. And 10,000×50= 500,000.
Doing the math… that's easily FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND ZEN! DAMN.
Oh and one Zen is equal to one Yen back in Japan. I don't know why gold here is so cheap.
"Don't you worry my friend. I will be the one to take care of your bloodstained riches!"
"I wonder if all his other buddies possess the same wealth he has."
I search everyone else's corpse, except for the captain, well, because he's best for last.
"Man you guys are broke. Why can't you follow your other friend? He brought his cash with him."
"Time for you buddy" I say excitedly as I glance toward the captain's corpse.
I start searching his whole body, finding absolutely nothing. Then I feel something circular in his right pocket.
Bruh.
"A pocket watch?"
"Is that supposed to be his daughter?"
"Well that's pretty sad."
Anyways, is that all you have?!
Ooh your sword seems pretty valuable. I'm just gonna take that.
I hold out my right hand slightly and multiple threads of magic burst out my fingertips and wrap around the bandit captain's sword.
I wonder how much I can sell this for…
"Hold on… Where did they put our valuables? If they don't have it here, then… Where did they gather it?" I ask as I glance at the bandit captain.
No, I must attend to my parents first.
I slowly walk down the slightly blood stained stairs.
"Mom? Dad?" I said, for dramatic effect of course.
No response.
The wind breezes through the front door.
Two familiar corpses lying down right in front of it.
Five dead bandits lying around it.
"Mother… Father…" I say as I kneel down beside them, resisting the urge to ransack the bandits' bodies.
"I have avenged you."
"Now may you both rest in peace." I say as I close their eyes.
Dad seems to be clutching something in his hands.
"Oh? A key?"
I softly take it out of his hands, eyes glowing faintly.
"What the hell do I do now?"
"My parents are both dead. Which is incredibly cliché."
I look around and see five dead bandits.
"Let's see. Who here has the most cash?"
---
Bruh.
"Why you all so broke?"
"That other guy was stacked…"
I glance at the living room.
Oh so that's where our stuff are. I didn't know we had that many jewels though.
I walk towards the living room and sit on the wooden couch.
"Let's just count the money all those guys had…"
I lie down on the wooden couch and began counting. And fell asleep without realizing.
---
It's now morning, birds chirping outside.
*Knock. Knock."
Silence.
*Knock. Knock."
No response.
"Is anyone home?"