Chapter 1
The sky in the heavens was always sunny and radiant with only a few rare exceptions, to the point that Adam sometimes even missed some other weather like a storm, hurricane, or even a blizzard, as despite how pleasant the atmosphere and weather are around here, Adam wanted more ... variety... if you will. But he won't voice or even display what he was thinking outside, as he wasn't that desperate.
So he, just like all other winners and angels that live in heaven, resumed his mundane life. Which is doing a push-up with his subordinate and second in command, Lute, on top of him.
"87," Lute's strict and piercing voice calmly sounds as she counts the number of pushups Adam is doing. Well, now that it has almost reached ninety, it would be accurate to say he is trying to do as his arms are now unconsciously and futilely shaking, and his breath is rapid and labored with a heavy burden like no other, and the silent grinding of his teeth continues.
"8...., Commander, clean form only," Lute spoke, not counting the half-assed push-up that Adam made in his exhaustion.
A being might wonder upon seeing such a display.
How and why, Adam?
You are the freaking Adam, the original dick, the Dickmaster, and the bearer of the nut that birthed the whole of humanity. Why are you struggling to do even a hundred push-ups, especially since there is only one woman on top of you? Well, in truth, the reason for his struggle is not his subordinate's weight; instead, it is the two dumbbells that Lute is carrying in her clenched hand. Each bearing five hundred kilograms alone, and combined with the exhaustion that carried over to him from the previous exercises that he had done, created this struggling sight.
"COMMON, you goddamn piece of shit, do those fucking push-ups PROPERLY, Breath in and out." The curses rang out in the ears of Adam as another being, oh so familiar a being who looked just like him but with a mask, cursed in front of him, though not Lute, since she would never curse Adam this ...relentlessly. But still, Lute didn't do anything in response to this unsightly display; her eyes didn't even show the slightest bit of ripple, and her face didn't even twitch as she silently stood on top of his back, as if she couldn't see the tall, masked, devil-like angel in front of her, who was yelling like there was no tomorrow. Though in reality, yes, she can't see it, even the seraphim can't see the Original Adam's ghost, except for the New Adam. A thing that brought forth confusion and happiness in equal value.
Confused how even the head Seraphim couldn't see the soul of OG Adam and was happy because of it, since it made sure that OG wouldn't just blow up the fact that the imposter had just possessed the soul of the First Human, and that without any resistance.
"Stop fucking dragging my name through the dirt, you body-possessing, voodoo doodoo shit. DO THE FUCKING PUSH-UPS. LIKE YOU MEAN IT" The yell continued, and with it, some unknown strength seemed to travel alongside it as the push-ups that Adam was struggling with ceased, and the shaking reduced in volume as the sound of Adam's teeth that were grinding against each other intensified in volume. Though it might just be rage burning in place of strength.
"89"
.
.
"94"
.
.
"100"
When it reached a hundred, just at the same time as Lute jumped from his back, Adam collapsed onto the ground with a desperate rag that he, oh so unknowingly, needed.
"Huff, huff, huff."
Between the desperate rag and the ringing that is blaring inside his skull, Adam heard both OG and Lute simultaneously say.
"Hell yeah, that's how it should be !"
"Congratulations, Commander, you have gotten better."
Unfortunately, a second after Lute spoke, she couldn't hear the Original Adams muttering about her ...word of choice, which she used to praise him. Which was 'gotten better,' as that meant that previously he wasn't capable of something like this.
The huff continued on as other exorcists came about after their short thirty-minute rest. Despite Original Adam's less-than-stellar discipline and training, his stamina and strength, due to his angelic power and the gift that was granted to him when he first entered heaven, made him still better than most exorcists. Though not by a long shot, as his holy power is the thing that Adam has the most of.
Adam, while lying face up on the ground, heard the footsteps of his second in command, who is now going to the exorcists, who are now lined up in order.
"Alright, you maggots, you all know the drill: run around the field ten times and start the combat training." Lute's footsteps were heavy, and her eyes were sharp and piercing, just like they always have been.
"Ver Susi Kale ... Vaggie ... you all would be in charge of your squad's training. Understood !, IF YES, Get to it!" Her voice echoes in the silent field as the exorcist, whose name was called, got out of the formation and stood in front of their squad. Starting from the rightmost, they started running to get their body up and running again.
Meanwhile, Adam just lay there on the ground with the ghost of the original Adam's company. "Soooo, how does it feel to be in the body of the first man? Pretty sick, huh ?" He said, and in response to OG, Adam opened his mouth slightly. "It doesn't feel so good since there was a potbelly just three months ago, and there is still a bit of a round shape even now."
OG got up with a spring and a pissed-off expression adorning his masked-up face. "Oh, you just did not."
Adam turned to the OG, his maskless human face showing a mocking smirk. "Yes, I did say it, my friend. And this is the least offensive thing I can imagine about you."
But the next second, he stopped and returned to his sky gazing as he, from the corner of his eye, saw Lute turning back to him and walking over. "Commander, do you want to join in the combat exercise?"
"Mmmmm," Adam continued, gazing up at the sky, and made a thinking sound as he displayed a motion of thinking. "Sure, why not? But I will join in on them after they finish their warm-up," he said, mimicking the way Adam talks the slightest bit. His planned six-month gradual transformation plan that he made up still hasn't been done yet.
"Understood," Lute said as she turned around to supervise the exorcists warming up with occasional shouts and yelling here and there.
While Adam was resting while looking up at the sky, his mind wandered off to the past, when he had just ...transmigrated into this world.
(Flashback)
It was like any other day with warm sunlight and a clear blue sky that looked akin to an endless sea as he boarded a plane with a few of his employees.
"Cave, do you want to take the front seat alone or the back seat with others ?" He faintly remembered his subordinate asking and him answering. "Front, I want to relax and take a nap for a bit," along with a faint yawn that unconsciously escaped from his mouth.
"Okay, then have a good dream, Cave. Especially about those silver ales," his subordinate said, silently hinting at an inside joke that none other than those who worked together with him would know.
"Haha, I will, Brode. I will."
Then he remembered himself taking a nap and waking up mid-flight to watch an animated show called Hazbin Hotel. A show that he enjoyed quite a bit since unfiltered language, along with gore, is quite rare nowadays. But midway through the last episode, he dozed off into dreamland. At least that was the thing he thought, but when he woke up.
What greeted him was not the small pad and the sunlight that streamed through the window. Instead, it was a massive modern room, on top of a king-sized bed with two-meter-tall windows' worth of sunlight streaming and blasting upon his face.
"What?!" He asked, wondering what had happened and where he was, also hoping that he didn't just go into some sort of coma-like state and his employees brought him here or something, since his wallet would take quite the impact upon his return. Especially considering that just two months prior, he had put all of his savings into the montage to finish it once and for all.
But the room, upon a second closer look, despite its fancy design and clean view that spoke to it being no ordinary room, had quite a few personal touches here and there.
There was a poster of a masked heavy rock star of some sort screaming into the camera while showcasing a signature rock and roll signal upon his hand; some yellow guitar that for some reason had a sharp, ax-like edge on the base and faintly looked like it was really made up of gold hung on the wall, and quite a few bottles lay about around the king-sized bed that he was on top of.
Heck, there was even a bottle clutched between his grasp, radiating its natural, sharp, and piercing, oh so familiar alcoholic smell.
Just as he wondered if he should go out and ask for help, with a sudden stir and groan that spoke of the anguish that the owner of that voice was enduring, a person with a horn and a mask that glowed yellow got up from beyond the closet. "Oh, FUCK, my head! Holy shit, I should stop drinking this much. I swear, they must be putting something in these drinks. Oh, FUCK." He said while his back made a crackling sound due to the stretch he had just done.
The mask, for some reason, moved along with his words, and he could even see the frown that adorned the face of the person who was getting up. And when that person finally got up to his full height, only one word came to his mind.
Tall, extremely so
That was the word that appeared inside his head as he slowly gawked at the two-meter eighty or ninety or something giant of a man who looked exactly like the person on the poster next to the bed, making him wonder if he didn't fall asleep and wake up in this place; instead, if he lost some memory due to the quite possible crazy party that happened with the rock star who was dressing like an angel and devil hybrid in front of him, and when that person turned to him, he wanted to ask some simple question in return, but he spoke the words that he had never expected.
"Oh, hello, beautiful," he said, taking a strange pose and skillfully manipulating his eyebrows to resemble waves.
"Ummm." He wasn't sure what he should do in response to these...words of choice. He started to feel, for some reason, nauseous and felt like puking his guts in and out now that his mind was more awake, he didn't know if this was due to the cheesy, almost flirtatious way another person, especially a man, talked to him, or if the hangover from quite possibly yesterday had caught up to him. But with a grip that tightened and coiled the blanket that he was currently on top of, he swallowed the puke that had accumulated right in his throat and tried to focus on the current situation more clearly.
But fortunately, it seemed to be a misunderstanding, as that person just a second later shook his head and shouted. "Wait, I am not standing before a mirror. Who the FUCK are you ?"
Adam could still remember OG shouting and trying to attack him, but his attack went past his body like a ghost, and after realizing he couldn't touch him or anything for that matter, he tried to leave, which unfortunately also did not work since the moment he got out of the thirty-meter range, he froze and was blasted backwards, back to him. And after a bit of looking around, he remembered himself panicking as he realized he was in a show called Hazbin Hotel, and he was transmigrated into the body of Adam, with the ghost of the original Adam still around.
So he did the only thing that came into his mind.
Survival
He first tried to kill the OG's soul or seal him away, which unfortunately did not work, as no matter what he did, it just bypassed him, even the yellow energy blast that he managed to somehow will into existence went past him and hit the side of a wall.
Hoping that whoever came to this room next would not come soon enough, he tried to search for any possible way to seal him, ignoring the fucked-up curses that were blasting into his eardrums from the OG Adam, and after an hour of relentless searching, he unfortunately had nothing.
So, using the only intelligence that he managed to gather during the search, which is ironically from the OG Adam, with him cursing and declaring that Lute, his second in command, would soon come and gut him like the pig he is. He started to dump a massive amount of wine and alcohol into the toilet, faking that he was truly absolutely wasted, while also preparing a solid object to hit himself into unconsciousness, thinking that faking an amnesia would buy him some time since it was approaching the declared time, while hoping that crazy bitch Lute from the show wouldn't see the god damned ghost of the OG Adam.
But halfway through dumping, the nauseous and hungover feeling intensified several times in volume, and after puking several times into the toilet, he fell into the bathtub, falling unconscious in the process.
(Present)
Adam could still remember himself remembering some occasional bits of OG's memory during that period of sleep and waking up to see growling Lute, who looked like she was about to chop him up limb by limb and grill it, season it, and then eat it. All while still having that tight frown adorning her face.
But through bits of memory, the instinct that this body had, and the fact that he was in a bathtub with several bottles of beer and wine around him, he managed to weave through her questions. But due to the suddenness of it, he forgot his original plan of faking full-blown amnesia, so halfway through the conversation, when he was asked a pretty specific question about whether he had written some sort of formation report for High Seraphim Sera, he faked half-assed amnesia, which, by some goddamn miracle, worked. And for the next few days, he mostly stayed in the massive mansion that he realized he was living in and studied the OG's behavior to intimidate him better and better. While also making up a plan to gradually show that Adam, the Original Dick, is changing and for the better, little by little.
Since he doesn't want to just spend the rest of eternity pretending to be someone he wasn't, especially since the original's habits and the way he spent the day were pretty lackluster, with little to no valuable things he did.
So three months in on the six-month gradual change plan that was initiated by a half-amnesia he made up, little by little, he gradually stopped pretending to be a total dickhead. Though there were several close calls, because the OG is still here as a helpful light, he managed to pass through without much...problem.
"Commander, they finished," Adam heard Lute say to him, and with it, Adam got up and joined in on the combat training, which he hoped he would do decently at.