As the man ejaculated— No, not this time.
...
"Ahhh! Fuuuck! Fuck! Fuck this shit!!!!" Gaelaord knew his luck was dogshit, it had always been dogshit, but this was a whole new tier of cosmic bullshit!
To any higher-dimensional being casually reading this, the sight of this ranting, oddly named mortal might have been… confusing. And to truly understand why Gaelaord was currently screaming at the uncaring heavens, we'd need to rewind a few hours…
"Say ahh~"
Gaelaord obeyed with a grin, pressing the spoonful of ice cream between his teeth. The sweetness bloomed on his tongue, but it was nothing compared to the warmth pooling in his chest as he watched her... Her, of all people, smiled at him like he was worth something.
How the hell did a nobody like him land someone like this?
She was everything. Gorgeous, poised, the kind of woman who turned heads without trying. A flawless figure wrapped in designer clothes, a voice like honey, a laugh that could melt glaciers. The kind of girl men wrote songs about, the kind they fought over.
And yet here she was, feeding him ice cream like he was the prize.
He was just a regular loser.
Average looks, average height, no powerful family, and a career that barely counted. He'd only landed a real job less than a year ago.
Even now, with an actual job, he still gave off the vibe of someone who'd apologize to a vending machine for taking too long.
They finished at the restaurant, and as Gaelaord pulled out his card to pay, his girlfriend's soft voice cut in. "Don't charge him. It's on the house." She slipped her arm through his and gave the employee a sweet smile.
"Y-yes, Boss!" The employee bobbed his head quickly, shooting Gaelaord a look that wasn't quite envy, wasn't quite pity, or...Something in between.
Gaelaord caught the stare but shrugged it off. Of course, the guy was jealous. Hell, he'd be making the same face if their positions were reversed.
"How many places do you own? Didn't know this restaurant was one of them," Gaelaord said with a chuckle as they strolled out, arm in arm.
"Not many. Just the whole street," she replied with a calm smile. Her voice was smooth as silk, and her full lips drew Gaelaord's gaze a moment longer than they should have.
Later, they wandered through a nearby park. They found a quiet bench and sat down together. Gaelaord held her hand, silently watching the greenery ahead.
A breeze rustled through the park's trees as Gaelaord finally voiced the thought that had gnawed at him for days:
"I've been wondering... why me?" He stared at their joined hands, his work-roughened fingers contrasting sharply with her manicured ones. "Of all people you could be with... why choose someone like me?"
Ever since he was a kid, he had never had anyone he could honestly say loved him. Not even his mother...that bitch ran off with another man when he was ten. His father buried himself in work and only cared enough to keep the lights on and food in the fridge.
When he turned fifteen, he dated a girl for the first time. She broke up with him after a month.
The second one lasted a bit longer, five weeks, before dumping him and dating one of the few friends he had.
The barista who ghosted him after two months. The coworker who demoted him to "just friends" at eleven weeks. The bookstore girl who held on for a record-breaking three months before vanishing to another city without a second thought.
That pattern stuck with him for over ten years.
Then out of nowhere, a woman like her confessed to him.
Back then, everything felt unreal.
It still did.
The woman leaned on his shoulder, her fingers gently curling around his.
"A long time ago, a girl worked at a KTV. One night, while delivering drinks to a private room, one of the drunk guys grabbed her and tried to force himself on her. She screamed and struggled, but his friends just laughed. They didn't help. The boss heard the noise but ignored it."
"Just when things were getting bad, the security guard burst in. He yanked her out of the guy's hands and beat the crap out of them before kicking them all out. The one who grabbed her swore he'd get revenge, and the boss, afraid of trouble, fired the guard on the spot."
"The girl was shaken. She wanted to thank him, but the words wouldn't come out. So she made a silent promise to herself… that one day, she'd repay him."
As she spoke, her beautiful, clear eyes stared at him deeply.
Gaelaord's eyes widened. He sat up straight, pointing at her, voice trembling. "You… you're that girl?"
"No wonder you looked familiar!"
His girlfriend stood up and smiled at him. Her smile was beautiful, but this time, Gaelaord sensed something strange from it. She chuckled softly and said, "Wrong guess, hero. I was the one you threw out that night."
She leaned in close and whispered, "See? I said I'd have my revenge."
Bzzzzz!!!
Gaelaord stood frozen, the buzzing noise drowning out everything else. His CPU was fried; he couldn't process what he'd just heard.
Memories of their short time together flooded back.
The day she confessed, cheeks flushed, whispering, "I like you, Gaelaord. I don't know why, but… I want to be with you." His heart had almost burst. He'd never felt so wanted.
Their first date, she'd leaned across the table with a playful smirk and fed him a bite. "Say ahh~"
Last week at the arcade, she dragged him to a claw machine, giggling as she tried to grab a plush bear.
More and more moments flashed through his mind, but luckily or maybe not... The one thing stopping him from completely losing it was that they still hadn't kissed yet.
...
"Fuck... fuck... fuck!!!" Gaelaord walked down the street at night, nails digging into his scalp like he could scrape the memory out. His skin felt like it was crawling from the inside out. He cursed loudly, unable to accept what had just happened. "I can't believe this shit! Damn it! Damn it! Fuck it all!"
His outburst caught the attention of passersby, who looked at him like he was some mentally handicapped guy and quickly stepped away.
As mentioned before, Gaelaord had never really felt loved by anyone. None of his girlfriends stuck around long enough for any real feelings to grow.
He had been dumped so many times, in so many ways, that getting dumped over a text message had become normal for him.
The bastard's stunt hadn't just scared the shit out of him, it shattered what was left of his already wrecked heart into tiny pieces. Just when he thought someone might actually love him, it turned out to be a damn transvestite!
What kind of psychopath goes this far for payback?
How the fuck did he even manage to change his freaking voice?!!
"What kind of psycho trains their voice just to fuck with someone?!"
"Fuck!!!!!"
Being dumped so many times, Gaelaord did think that maybe it was his fault. After all, if two or three people had a problem with him, that was one thing, but when every single ex dumped him so damn fast, it was hard not to assume the issue was him. Maybe he had some weird habit he didn't notice. Maybe there was just something about him that made people want to run.
He tried to work on himself, but no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find anything actually wrong. The only thing he thought might be a problem was that he was unbearably honest.
Like that time when his girlfriend asked if she was prettier than the model on TV, and without blinking, he said, "Of course you're not. You can't compare to her."
Gaelaord bought a bottle of whiskey and another of vodka, then dragged himself back to his apartment.
He was going to drown in alcohol, flush out the dirty feelings clinging to him like grease.
Damn it! He felt so disgusted every time he thought about the time he spent with that damn bastard!
Swoosh!
Walking on the sidewalk, Gaelaord suddenly heard a sound. He looked up and saw a flower pot falling. It was so close, it was practically kissing his forehead.
As the pot raced toward his skull, Gaelaord found himself worrying about two things:
Whether he'd be severely injured or not.
If not, then that was fine.
If he was, then he'd have two more things to worry about:
Would he recover or not?
If he recovered, that was fine.
If he didn't, then he had to worry about two more things:
Would he die or not?
If he didn't die, that was fine.
If he did, well, then he'd have to worry about two more things:
Would he go to heaven or hell?
If heaven, that was fine.
But if hell—
Bang!
Before Gaelaord could finish his stupid little flowchart, the pot smashed into his head.
The world went dark.
And in his last moment, he muttered, "I wish someone loved me too..."
...
The morning sun slowly spread over the rooftops as a crowd of students walked down the sidewalk toward Kuoh Academy.
Yusuke Aoki walked with the crowd, his school bag casually slung over one shoulder. He took a bite of honey bread and let out a lazy yawn. "Damn, Mondays are tough no matter what world you're in," he muttered.
It was early morning. After staying up late playing games and searching online for ways to make money, the boy barely managed to wake up on time.
"It's been a week since I came to this world... I can't believe that I have to go to school again," Gaelaord, no, he was Yusuke Aoki now, muttered and took another bite of the bread.
After the flower pot hit him, he didn't go to heaven or hell. Instead, he woke up in a new body in Japan, in a strange place called Kuoh Town. At first, Yusuke thought he was hallucinating or losing his mind, but after a while, he accepted this new life.
His new life wasn't bad. He was reborn in a young body and owned an apartment inherited from his father. And, most importantly, even though he was Japanese, his 'little Johnson' wasn't small.
Oh, and there was his mother, whom he never knew. From the memories he inherited, she had run off with another man, which broke his father's heart and sent him into a deep depression. His father died not long after.
Yusuke wanted to complain that mothers these days were so unreliable. The bitch from his past life ran off with some guy, and now the bitch in this life did the same. His father was a wimpy cuck, too. Why the fuck did he get all depressed over a slut?
Not that Yusuke had any right to talk. He wasn't much better.
"Yu-Kun~!"
Suddenly, a hand tapped his left shoulder, and a cheerful voice whispered in his ear. He turned around but saw nothing. When he looked back to the right, a finger poked his cheek.
"What are you thinking about, Yu-Kun~?" The voice's owner was so close that her lips brushed against his ear.
"Murayama?!" Yusuke was so surprised he almost spat out his bread. He turned around to see the beautiful girl grinning at him. "You scared me."
"Teehee~ Good morning, Yu-kun!" Murayama hugged her schoolbag behind her back, leaning forward until her face was dangerously close to his. "I saw your spaced-out look and just had to tease you~"
Her tongue stuck out mischievously.
"...Good morning, Murayama," Yusuke sighed and said with a forced smile. Watching their interaction, anyone could easily think they had known each other for a long time, but in truth, they had only met about five days ago.
Back then, Yusuke was just on his way to school when this girl suddenly decided to talk to him. It caught him off guard, but since she was in his class, he didn't want to be rude and replied. Since that day, they ended up meeting every morning and walking to school together.
But the weird thing was, Murayama was getting way too close for someone who'd only known him a few days. Yusuke wasn't exactly handsome or rich, just a bit above average and an abandoned kid at that. So why was a beauty like her choosing to hang around him like that?
He would absolutely never believe that this girl likes him; it had to be something else, maybe she was getting close to him for some reason.
Murayama leaned in until her breath warmed his cheek, poked his face with a mischievous finger, and stared at the bread in his hand with hungry eyes.
"...Yes, do you want some?" Yusuke resisted the urge to push her away as he asked. Don't misunderstand, it wasn't that he disliked the close contact. It just felt too strange. Every experience from his past life had taught him there was no way a woman would get this close without some kind of hidden motive.
"Really? Yu-kun is so nice," Murayama's eyes lit up. Without waiting, she snatched the bread from his hand and took a big bite. Holding her cheek, she murmured something too soft for Yusuke to hear clearly. "Hehehe~ So delicious, Yu-kun's bread is seriously good."
The two kept chatting as they walked, their conversation carrying them all the way to the school gates.