In a world filled with Magic and Fantasy lies a Nation that goes by the name of "Xethil", Near Xethils northwestern border with the Nation of Northmen and the western border with Alabahardren lies a large human city named "Bordercross".
At the Southern Gate of Bordercross stands two guards wearing simple leather armor and chainmail, and a helmet with a piece that covers their face. The guard on the left side of the door sighed.
The guard on the right heard the sigh and let out his own, annoyed sigh.
Todd: *Let's out Sad Sigh*
Jeremy: *Let's out an annoyed sigh* what's wrong, Todd? What's the issue this time? Is the sky too cloudy for your liking? Or did your girlfriend not kiss you goodbye this morning?
Todd Slowly turned his head to face Jeremy, you can't see his face,but you can tell Todd has tear filled eyes.
Todd: *Sigh* My mother died a few days ago.
Jeremy paused after hearing that, suddenly feeling bad for Todd and the comment he made.
Jeremy: Oh... I- I'm sorry, Todd. It's just, Usually you let out Sighs like that over mundane things and I just assum-...
Todd cut him off.
Todd: It's fine... It's fine, I knew her health was going down for a while now, but I got the letter today and her funeral is this afternoon. The Emperor won't let me leave to go to her funeral since it's across the border and I got nobody to take over for me, so...
Jeremy: Oh, oh dear... I'm sorry, when I lost my mother, I was in the same spot, unable to go to her funeral for the same reason as you, so I understand your feelings... What are you supposed to do for work today?
Todd: Stand here and guard the South Gate until the afternoon, then I have to escort Keith to his execution, which the Emperor and all the other city leaders will be watching-..
Jeremy: Wait, Keith is getting executed again? What did he do this time?
Todd: He stole the Emperor's oldest sons teeth.
Jeremy: ...
Todd: ...
Jeremy: His teeth?...
Todd: Yes. His teeth...
Jeremy: How?- I mean, I assume you asked him how, but did he say?
Todd: Yeah, I asked. He said that he paid Boldric to make him a Muscle relaxer potion that specifically relaxed your gums so the teeth come out easier.
Jeremy: Did he say why he even decided to do that?
Todd: Apparently he and Esebelle got into an argument about how good of a thief he is, one thing lead to another and they eventually bet on stealing the Emperor's oldest sons teeth.
Jeremy: Did he say anything else? That's not a lot to go on.
Todd: Halfway through talking, He suddenly stopped talking. When I asked him why he's silent, he said that he forgot that "Snitches get stitches"... Then he refused to talk.
Jeremy: Yeah... That sounds like something Esebelle will do.
Todd: Oh I know, I specifically left Esebelles name out of the report because I knew that id be getting beaten alongside Keith if she got in trouble over this.
Jeremy: Yeah, although id argue Keith is a good thief, he just sucks at keeping his mouth shut, he always starts talking loudly and bragging about the things he stole and that lands him in jail Everytime.
Todd: Yeah, he is good, he just can't keep his mouth shut.
Jeremy: Well, I'm guarding the South Gate all day, so I can take over escorting Keith for you so you can go to your mothers funeral if you want.
Todd: Wow, really? You'd do that for me?
Jeremy: Yeah, we're buddies, we are friends. I wouldn't want you to miss your mothers funeral. How far is it?
Todd: It's in Alabahardren. About a 30 minute walk West of the city of Godfall, in a small farming village.
Jeremy: Wait, really? That's so close. An hour long horse ride and the Emperor still won't let you go?
Todd: Yeah... You know how Keith is. This is his 17th Execution this month and he somehow keeps escaping it. I honestly don't know why they even bother at this point.
Jeremy: Yeah, I've been a guard for a little under a decade now and I've known Keith that entire time. Since meeting Keith, he's had over 1,000 Executions, all of whom failed because he escaped. Maybe that's why we have to guard the gates and not let anyone in? This execution is news, so maybe the Emperor doesn't wanna give Keith's connections a chance to save him?
Todd: Yeah, that's what I assume. Although i don't know why the Emperor or anyone even bothers. Half the nations people of importance have a "Kill on Sight" policy with Keith and nobody listens to it so-...
Jeremy: Hold that thought. Someone is approaching.
Todd and Jeremy look down the road and see a man approaching. The man has luscious blonde hair and an attractive face-, well, his face would be attractive if he didn't have a stupid grin on his face. He is wearing crappy chainmail armor and absolutely nothing underneath it except a cloth to cover his important bits.
Jeremy: I'll deal with it.
Jeremy started walking towards the man with his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.
Jeremy: Halt, the gates are closed for the moment. Come back tomorrow.
Strange Man: *Mouth breathing*
Jeremy: ...
Strange Man: *mouth breathing*
Jeremy: Citizen? Turn around and come back tomorrow. The City is closed. I'm not gonna ask again.
Jeremy spoke in a stern tone, drawing his sword completely, but the strange Man stands there, mouth breathing.
But then, the strange Man pulls out his own sword, it's a rusty crappy sword with a broken blade, the sword is the length of a dagger due to the broken blade and looks like a strong gust of wind will shatter it.
Jeremy immediately pulled out his shield from his back and was ready to fight, but Todd suddenly showed up and put a hand on Jeremy's shoulder, as if telling him to stop.
Todd: Hold it... *Whispers* i don't know why, but I feel like attacking this guy will end badly.
Jeremy: *Whispers* what? Why?
Todd: *Whispers* I don't know, it's just a feeling. We might as well let him in the city and see what he does. We already know Keith is gonna manage to escape his execution again, so there's no point.
Jeremy sighed and put his sword and shield away.
Jeremy: If he does something ba-.
Todd: I know, I know. I'll take the blame.
Todd then approached the strange Man and said in a friendly voice.
Todd: Hello, Sir, you may enter the city, just don't go starting trouble.
Before either Todd or Jeremy could even unlock the gate, the strange Man immediately put his weapon away and darted past them. Immediately crouching down and lockpicking the gate.
Jeremy: H- Hey! Stop that! We have a key right here, you don't need to-!...
In the span of 5 Seconds, this Strange Man used 30 lockpicks to try and unlock the door, with the 31st attempt being successful and the rest failing and breaking.
Jeremy could only look in shock at the scene. Todd Slowly approached and stood next to Jeremy.
Todd: Looks like my feeling was right. Look at how fast he used those lockpicks. Imagine how fast he'd use a sword if I didn't stop you from fighting him.
Jeremy: Wow, uh... Thanks... But what if he's here to cause chaos?
Todd: Boldric can handle him if he is here for chaos.
Jeremy: Yeah, Boldric can handle it. He is an Ancient Dark Elf Mage, after all. He's single handedly the reason nobody declares war on the City of Bordercross or the Nation of Xethil...
Todd: We should probably tell the Captain about this, though.
Jeremy: Yeah, I'll do that.
Jeremy went into the city, leaving Todd to watch the gate alone. He quickly walked towards the Castle in the middle of the city of Bordercross. If you wanted to enter the Emperor's palace, you had to go through the Guard castle first.
Entering the Castle and climbing the stairs, the Captain was either in his office or with the Emperor, but given that Keith's execution is in a few hours, it's safe to assume the Captain is with the Emperor, so Jeremy reached the 3rd floor of the Southern Castle tower, crossed the bridge into the Emperor's palace Guard Walls, (the fastest path from his location) and worked his way to the Emperor's Hall.
Entering the Emperor's halls, Jeremy noticed that everyone's eyes were on him now, the Emperor, the Captain of the Guards, and 7 other city leaders were in the room staring at Jeremy. Who nervously laughed and quickly went up to the Captain, who was an older man with a bald head and clean shaven face. He was looking at Jeremy with a stern, but annoyed Expression.
Captain: Jeremy, why are you here?...
He asked while rubbing the bridge of his nose.
Jeremy: Sir, at the South gate, this Strange Man wearing nothing but old chainmail and wielding a broken swo-
Captain: You let a Strange Man into the city, I know.
Jeremy paused.
Jeremy: Wait, you know?
The Emperor Chimed in, he's an Old Man with long hair and a long beard, wearing what looks like comfortable Robes.
Emperor: Young Man, the Stranger you let into the city barged into this room and stared at me intensely, not saying a single word aside from his loud breathing. He wouldn't leave no matter what I said, I eventually pointed out a Bandit Camp 10 minutes away from the south gate and he immediately left, presumably to go to the Bandit Camp.
Jeremy: I see, I'm sorry-
The Emperor raised his palm, Silencing Jeremy.
Emperor: Since it's your fault the the Man got into the city, on the off chance the he doesn't die in that Bandit Camp, I'll be giving him your shield as a reward for clearing the Bandit Camp. Take your shield to Boldric and ask him to put a Magic Barrier onto the shield. I'll tell the man that my grandfather used that shield to defend this city when he was Emperor or something.
One of the City Lords chimed in, a young woman with long black hair in a thick braid over her shoulder.
Young Woman City Lord: Sire, may I ask why you're doing that?
Emperor: I don't know, Maybe if he thinks he is getting an important heirloom as a reward, he will leave us alone?
The Emperor turned his attention back to Jeremy.
Emperor: Young Man, if he fails and dies in that Bandit Camp, think of it as you getting a free enchanted shield. Now go, go get that shield enchanted by Boldric.
Jeremy wanted to argue, but it's the Emperor's order and the Captain is urging him to go as well. Jeremy sighed, and left.
Leaving the Emperor's Hall, Cashew now had to head towards the Magic college to the north of the Emperor's Palace.
Jeremy: *Muttering to himself* stupid... I'm losing a good shield because of that guy... I don't even know his name and he's already robbing me- well, usually you don't know the name of the person robbing you.
Working his way out of the Emperor's palace and guard castle the way he came, Cashew worked his way to the magic college.
Jeremy: What a stupid layout. I gotta go around this massive wall to go to the College... Why isn't there a shortcut from the Emperor's Palace directly to the College? Stupid...
When Jeremy finally reached the front gate of the Magic college, he was stopped by a short dark elf woman with the side of her head shaved and the rest of her hair drooping on one side.
Jeremy: Oh, hi Karliah...
The Dark Elf woman named "Karliah" gave Jeremy a judgmental stare before clicking her teeth in annoyance.
Karliah: What is a Hairless Monkey doing here? Are you here to fling feces at the Glorious college again?
Jeremy: No, I'm here to s-... Wait, Again? What do you mean, Again?! This is my first time here!
Karliah crossed her arms, not believing a word Jeremy said.
Karliah: Uh-huh, sure. The College doesn't need anymore Target dummies, so why don't you go back to the Guard Castle, and smash your protruding foreheads together with the other hairless monkeys. Your presence is already killing my intelligence, so get lost!
Jeremy: Why are you so rude, Karliah? What did I do to you-
Suddenly, a loud and annoyed voice was heard.
Unknown voice: Karliah, let the Monkey in. The Emperor sent him.
Karliah: But, Sir!-
Unknown Voice: let him in.
Karliah: *Sigh* Yes Sir...
Karliah gave Jeremy a dirty look before stepping to the side. Instead of ignoring it, Jeremy turned to say something to her.
Jeremy: I'll have you know that I'm very feminine by my races standards.
Karliah looked at him with a surprised expression, then burst out laughing, almost like she was gonna fall over.
Unknown Voice: Ok, I'm impatient now, let's snatch the Shield...
While Jeremy was feeling embarrassed by Karliah laughing and realizing what he said, an unknown force snatched Jeremy's shield away from him and dragged it off into the tallest tower of the College. Jeremy called out to complain, but his shield was returned after 20 Seconds.
Unknown voice: Ok, all done. The magic Barrier spell is enchanted into the shield, don't ask how I know what you wanted, I'm older than this city, I got ears everywhere. Tell the Emperor I'm sending him the bill. Now get lost, Karliah is right, I can feel myself getting dumber and dumber just by you being near my College.
Before Jeremy could even react, he felt an unknown force wrap around him.
Karliah: Bye, Femboy!
Karliah said with a grin on her face, but before Jeremy could say anything, he was flying into the air over the college and Emperor's Palace, being slammed into the ground in the Guard Castles training grounds.
(Jeremy+Yamcha pose.jpeg)
Jeremy: Uuuuugh... Ow.... *Blacks out*
...
...
Coffee/Tea break for the readers!
Fun fact!: I plan to give Coffee/Tea breaks throughout this book and use that chance to share some World Building. This Book and "Mistake Simulator" take place in the same universe. Only Mistake Simulator was 10,000 years earlier than this one. As I'm writing right now, I'm feeling very Meme-y.
Coffee/Tea break is over!
...
...
Jeremy: Uuuuugh... So sore...
Todd: Oh, hi. Is the broken boy finally awake?
Jeremy: Ugh... Todd? Is that you?...
Todd: Yep. Esebelle is here too.
Keith: Keith is here as well.
So far, Jeremy was keeping his eyes closed and Weakly talking, but hearing Keith's voice made his eyes shoot open and look in the direction it came from.
Jeremy saw Keith sitting in the rafters, wearing his usual leather armor with a hood up, face cover and cloak. Seeing Jeremy looking at him, he waved his fingerless gloved hand at him.
Keith: Hiya!
Jeremy: I know you always manage to escape execution, but how did you do it this time?
Todd: He was gone before the Sun even came up.
Keith: Wow, thanks, Todd. Not like I wanted to answer that, anyways, I hear you made a new friend.
Jeremy: Who?...
He asked Weakly.
Todd: he's talking about the Hero.
Jeremy: Who?... What Hero?
Todd: The strange guy who had a broken sword and old Chainmail armor on.
Jeremy: How is he a Hero?
Jeremy tried to sit up when he asked, but his body is too sore, so he stayed laying down.
Todd: Well, Keith was eavesdropping, so he knows more than I do.
Keith: Long story short, the Hero killed all the bandits and brought the leader alive, one of the City Lords present gave him a task to clear a Bandit cave by his City and capture the leader, he did, and the really old guy suddenly started talking about a prophecy he heard 200 years ago saying that a hero in crappy chainmail with a broken sword would show up out of nowhere with no way to prove his identity and defeat all 17 Demon Lords and save all the Humans and Elves from destruction. And yes, Jeremy, your shield is gone.
Jeremy: really? I liked that shield... But everyone is just agreeing that the guy is a Hero now apparently?
Todd: The Emperor decided to humor the old City Lord who said that, so we have to call him a Hero for the time being.
Jeremy: But why?
Keith: Dementia must have kicked in for that old guy, so I guess the Emperor feels bad.
Jeremy: This is too much for me right now... Todd, Were you able to go to your mothers funeral?
Todd: Yeah, Esebelle said she would cover for me in place of you, but Keith escaped, So...
Keith: I took over for watching the South Gate.
Jeremy: Wait, Keith, really?
Keith: Yeah, it was fun!
Jeremy: You know what, that's even worse than the new "Hero", but I'm in too much pain to ask questions... Goodnight.
Esebelle: Oh no, it's almost Sunrise, you got work today. The Captain said you being slammed into the ground by Boldric is not an excuse to miss work.
Jeremy looked at Esebelle with a blank stare.
Jeremy: I literally cannot get out of bed right now.
Esebelle: The Captain told me to drag you out of bed, then.