Raphael
I finish drying myself and head to my dorm room. Before I can even reach for the handle and enter, my roommate, Owen, opens the door slightly, his hair a little disheveled as he looks at me through his eyelashes with a slightly frowning expression. "Hi, Raph" he murmurs with a sigh. "Hi, Owen."
I walk past Owen, completely ignoring his questioning gaze, more focused on a glorious nap than on coherent communication. I push myself off the mattress, letting the weight of my body pull me down. My lips move across the pillow, feeling the memory of her last kiss. I stretch as the scent of lavender and sandalwood envelops me, sinking deeper and deeper into the sleep I desire.
"Good morning, Raph!" I hear Owen cheer, and immediately I feel my sheets being pulled from my grip, holding them tightly. "Enough!" I growl at him, trying to cover myself up again. "Five more minutes..." "Are you going to lectures, or is a rolling salesman going to cancel your professional day?" I grit my teeth against my ears. "Enough! I'm getting up."
I throw the sheets off and teeter to the edge of my bed, standing up and leaning over my desk chair. I sit down in my desk-chair, shuffling through my books finding out exactly what I needed to study today since my sleep was very overpowering and the last test results were certainly not on the plus side of grades. "What's been going on with you lately, Raf?"
Owen scrutinizes me, his dark eyes narrowing. However, he doesn't press further, "You look like you haven't slept in weeks. I'm worried about you." He says, throwing his shoulder pads on and putting his life jacket in tomorrow ready. "Nothing's going on! I'm just tired lately!" I snap back, my voice irritating even in my own ears. "Alright, alright... Calm down Raf!"
"Something's suddenly bothering me, but I don't know exactly what it is" I mutter, letting out a groan as my body begins to twist from side to side in my upcoming study schedule. "Oh…" The word coming out of Owen's mouth is a giant first sound. "Are you in love?" Owen asks.
"I shouldn't be troubling you with this kind of thing. Please... let's talk about something else later." I caved, closing my extended breathing to calm, my chest puffing now to its normal speed. "Well... I'm not in love!"
"Really? Then what's causing this sudden change in you? Well, whatever, you're adorable when you're frowning." Owen says, laughing as he dodges my pillow and throws it back at me. You love talking. "We're best friends for a reason."
I feel, instead of catching my breath as he speaks, the timer reminding me that class is long overdue. "Okay, let's hurry up and get to class or we'll be late!" Owen gathers his materials, seeing that I've packed the bare essentials, including my monotonous body, which has defied many of my best-laid plans to constantly go out. We nod one last time.
We enter the campus with Owen and Beatrice's voice is heard behind us. "Guys wait for me!" Owen and I turn and give Beatrice a warm smile, our best friend and the first on campus in grades. She is also an Omega like me and because of that we get along best with her.
Owen, Beatrice, and I head to class and sit together, talking and having fun. To my disappointment, my phone has been sitting idle in my pocket all day. I look at it and check, still no message from Alexa. I put it back in my pocket, my stomach slightly knotted and uneasy, my heart racing for no reason.
I spend the rest of class fidgeting in my seat, sneaking glances at my phone every few minutes, checking for a message from Alexa, my nerves starting to fray. Miss Larson comes up to my table and knocks on the wooden surface, looking down her nose at me. "Raphael, class ended Five minutes ago." She tells me, quietly and slowly so as not to turn attention to me.
I put my notebook and pens back in my bag and rush outside, narrowly avoiding a collision with another student who is cursing at me. I run through the school with a single goal in mind, not stopping until I'm standing in front of the front door. It feels like a minute, and now it's been a few days since I last saw Alexa.
My heart nearly stops as the sports car approaches, but I'm instantly relieved at the dark profile behind the wheel. I sprint to the driver's door. I wait anxiously, my heart ready to explode seeing Alexa at full throttle right there in front of me, "Come in!"
A short and needy squeak escapes from my throat before I reach for the handle and open the door to slip in. Not even a moment after I'm sitting down, my body pushed into the seat by the forceful acceleration. I shoot a glance at her, admiring the way her eyes are narrowed to focus on the road in front of her, "Alexa..."
"Alexa..." I repeat, feeling like a thirsty man fresh from the watering hole. "Took you long enough." Those words coming from my woman she says calmly as the barrier of the car blocks the insecure outside world, "You don't know how frustrated I am. Not being able to touch you at all makes me feel like I'll go crazy." "Is that so?"
"Yes! My sister is still in my penthouse, and you still can't come!" "I'm so sorry, Alexa..." I say, my hands reaching out to touch her. I'm shaken, moved by her vulnerability and her bold statement. "No, I don't want you to apologize for this" she tells me. I look deep into her eyes, seeing them rough and disapproving. "You don't need to be sorry, Rafael."
"Then why don't we tell the world we're engaged?" I look at her hopefully, a small smile appearing at the end of my sentence. "Rafael, I'm still so scared" she admits as she drives, her heart racing, her huge hands inevitably on the rebellious steering wheel. She licks her lips. "I don't think you know what this could do to your reputation, Rafael."
"You keep saying it, but you won't be the first to go public. Despite everything, I want you to decide that you want to be mine." The indifference in Alexa's voice brings me back to the present. "I don't care about my reputation, I don't care what others say! We've been hiding our relationship for months!"
Her large grip reasserts itself on the steering wheel, almost cringing at my words, "Rafael, you don't know what you're saying. Bad things could happen if we publicly come out and our engagement announced to the world." Her mature eyes wonder down to me, her words coming with bias weighing into my own shortcomings, words devising the world. "What's the worst that could happen, Alexa?"
"The worst that could happen is that we get separated!" She yells, her voice tightening with jealousy and desperation. "I keep hoping it would be more. I'm not willing to do more. You have no idea how much you mean to me, Rafael, or how much I want to protect you." She grits through her teeth, "a heavier sense of meaning losing utility in her imminent words. You are the sacrifice I would give too for the love I feel."
I turn my head away from her, pursing my lips to restrain the plea threatening to leak out. I bury my squeak of disapproval in the soft furry fabric of Alexa's front seat. "Alexa... I really don't care what those idiots on social media say about me. They're just jealous. Lucky for you, I've found a home in your chest, a sanctuary where I feel safe."
She stops the vehicle with a hard lurch, and I am pulled into my position atop her lap. I thought myself poised beyond tears. An effort of self-control aimed to free both of us from the sadness of my loneliness. Yet there I was, a jumble of words improperly read, veins laying upon her tongue and plenty of wrongness of grief. "You are mine, no matter what happens. Don't ever question that."
Alexa attempts to calm me, placing her arms around my waist, pulling me even closer. But this is not the comforting darkness I sought, not the silence I needed. I come up for a bountiful gulp of air, my eyes squeezing together to fight against the heat that collects within my face. To hide me from Alexa.
As she stares at me with her eyelids tightly closed, I close mine and press my forehead to hers. I take a deep breath and shiver, my composure breaking. "But I want to be yours too, Alexa" I confess, almost in a whisper, struggling to get the words out. "I love you more than anything. You saved me from my empty hell with your unexpected kindness and allowed me to love again."
She sucks in her bottom lip and no more words are uttered between us, even though the sky already displays a different shade of night. My euphoria comes crashing down at her heightening smile and the tremble in her body. "Alexa?" Still she holds up her digits in a promise for silence, slowly pulling away, my fingers trailing down her jaw.