"Still, Issei, for someone who's always having viewing parties with Matsuda and Motohama, you collapsed way too easily. Don't you have any resistance built up?"
"N-No no no! Seeing them on TV or in magazines is nothing compared to seeing the real thing! Especially when they're all coming at you at once! And every single girl was showing off her charm in such a shamelessly calculated way... Whoever designed those monsters—especially the one with a Longinus sacred gear—must've done extensive research down to the smallest details!"
...So Leonardo was really pushed to that edge. Or maybe he just twisted beyond return.
=======
Sometime, Somewhere in the Hero Faction
"Um, how's this version of gravure idol Mimi-chan? Is the recreation okay?"
"Nope! Not even close! Mimi-chan has a mole under her boob! And when she does that seductive sidelong glance, she always flicks her tongue just a bit—that's missing! Start over!"
"That's way too specific! You're being creepy!"
"Hey now, isn't the breast texture still off? Silicone alone can only do so much. I heard that if you try grabbing air at bullet-train speed, it simulates a J-cup. Alright, Leonardo! Let's conduct some field research!"
"Wait, hold on! Before that, check out this loli character, Rory-chan. She's too tall!"
"Eh!? B-But I used the height listed in the magazine!"
"You idiot! That was with her platform boots on! She's insecure about her height and wears those to compensate. That subtle character trait should be reflected in her behavior!"
"Uuu... Your standards are way too high! And hey! Don't try to sneak those out! They're rigged to fall apart the second they leave this room!"
"NOOOOOO!? My succubus girl just crumbled like a sand sculpture!?"
"Ugh, I wish I could train properly... I just want to commit some nice, quiet work terrorism."
Sometime, Somewhere in the Hero Faction (End)
=======
Oblivious to the horrifying truth that those magical beasts were the culmination of the Hero Faction's intellectual... preferences, we finally arrived at our destination.
Inside the room were Vali's team and Ophis.
"Yo, Vali. How're you holding up?"
"Hearing that from you is unexpected. I've recovered quite a bit. I could fight even now... though it'd take another day to get back to full power."
...Don't say you're ready to fight in that condition.
"And Ophis? How are you feeling?"
"Better than in that barrier... But my power still... unstable."
As she said that, Ophis's eyes turned to Enku-san, who had entered the room with us. She toddled over and stared intently at his face.
"Um... did I do something?"
"Great Red? Should I defeat you?"
Ophis raised her hand lightly.
"Whoa, whoa, hold on, Ophis! Sure, Enku-san has red scales and a dragon-like face, but he's not Great Red! If you hit him on the head, it'll pop right off and he'll job-change from a kirin to a headless horseman!"
"Ikki-dono... If I lose my head, I won't be changing jobs—I'll just ascend... permanently."
I mean... That was a joke, right? If she attacked anything red thinking it was Great Red, flame dragons would've gone extinct already.
"...Le Fay said sometimes inserting jokes into conversation is good."
Everyone in the room turned to Le Fay. She blushed and scratched her cheek.
"I thought it'd help Lady Ophis learn how to get along with others better."
Ah, makes sense. But with Ophis's deadpan delivery, the joke doesn't always land...
"So, what's your status within the Khaos Brigade now? You clearly sided against Cao Cao and the Hero Faction."
Vali let out a sigh before answering.
"Currently, our team is being hunted by the Khaos Brigade. Official word from headquarters is: 'Vali's team attempted a coup and tried to deceive Lady Ophis. She has been safely retrieved by the Hero Faction. Terminate Vali's team on sight.'"
"What the hell!? That's the exact opposite of what happened! They attacked Ophis! Those bastards are unbelievable!"
Issei was fuming, but Vali just smirked bitterly.
"Well, we're all wanted now. These things happen... Of course, we'll settle the score in due time."
"Tch. Fine then—what do you guys plan to do now? You can't exactly go back to the Brigade."
"Nothing much changes. Even when we were part of them, we only took on missions that let us fight strong opponents. The rest of the time, we just wandered the world. If Cao Cao and company are enemies now, all the better."
Wow, he's really a battle junkie. He makes enemies just to stay in constant combat mode. Not a lifestyle I'd want...
"I'll be sticking with Vali. Traveling the world with him isn't as tense as you think—we even do some sightseeing."
"I'm staying too! Vali-sama and the others would eat nothing but cup ramen if I left! Just because the toppings have veggies doesn't make it a balanced meal! And without me, even Fenrir-chan's food would be cup ramen!"
Ah, so Le Fay's the team's head chef.
"Le Fay, don't give the wrong impression. We do eat at proper restaurants when infiltrating towns."
"Only when we're not camping! And you and Bikou always look for ramen first no matter where we go!"
Ooh, she's letting out all her pent-up frustration!
"Salamander Tomita, what about you?"
Arthur, sensing he was losing this one, turned to the quiet, brooding figure by the wall—the kappa.
"Our contract is still valid... that's all."
So cool! That's one professional kappa!
"I'm sticking with them too! It's been fun and free so far—no reason to leave now!"
Vali's team is surprisingly... cozy?
"So what about you, Ophis? What do you want to do?"
"I don't know. I thought it was okay to be used, if it meant going back to the Dimensional Gap. But I see now that Cao Cao never intended that. I have nowhere to return to."
Everyone went quiet at that.
"Then answer me honestly—when Ddraig asked before, you dodged the question. Why do you want to return to the Dimensional Gap? Why not stay here—in the human or underworld realms?"
If you just want solitude, there are plenty of ways to hide...
"People always gather around me. They fear me and seek my power. I... do not enjoy that. I just want silence again."
Ahh... so she's been stalked by power-hungry nutcases across every era. No wonder.
If Ophis had a more aggressive personality, the world would've ended a long time ago...
"Then why not come stay at my place, Ophis? We're not trying to use your power. And over the past few days, I think we've really gotten close. Actually, I already consider us friends! Is that no good?"
Issei's passionate declarations are honestly the one thing I do admire about him.
"Friends? Do I gain anything?"
"Friendship isn't about gain. It's about spending time with people who make you happy. Didn't you have fun with us?"
"...I think... I did... Then, may I return to the Red Dragon Emperor's home?"
"Of course!"
Rias watched them, half-exasperated, half-smiling.
"Geez, Issei. Deciding things on your own again. This'll be hard to coordinate... But I'm okay with it. Honestly, I've been curious too—seeing everyone else carry her around."
"Oh my, President. Ophis-chan is my daughter, you know. And my husband is... ufufufu♪"
"No! I'm not letting you hold her with those impure motives!"
Now the two queen bees are glaring daggers over who gets to carry Ophis...
"Well, Ophis, if you'd like, you can come visit my place too. I live next to Issei's."
Ophis nodded quietly.
"I will become friends with everyone."
And then, with a soft smile, she looked around the room.
...Yup. That smile just knocked out a few people. Some of us are really weak to that whole emotionless-girl-smiling trope.
And thus, it was decided: after everything that happened, Ophis would be hidden and protected under the Hyoudou household's care.