Several days have passed since I last saw Darius and obtained [Silent Flow]. During that time, I haven't done much apart from researching this world online and trying, with limited success, to train. However, I only managed to reach 3% mastery of my art, so I decided to put it aside for now until I find a more suitable environment.
I also tried to get used to the sensation of mana. While the original owner of this body was accustomed to it, I… well, not so much. Even though, in a way, we're the same person. Anyway, it's too complicated to analyze. I also attempted to explore my three affinities, and I've uncovered some interesting details.
Among the three elements I can wield, ice is the most accessible. Though my control is still shaky, I can manage it without much difficulty. It was, after all, the element Noah used the most early in the novel. As for the other two, mastering them properly is a whole different matter. They are incredibly hard to manipulate. It's well-established that these two elements, along with light and darkness, are among the most complex to tame, so I'm not expecting to use them meaningfully for now — at least not beyond a small scale.
I also experimented with strengthening my body with mana or concentrating it in specific areas. Even with my current core, it's a relatively simple task. After years of relentless training to exhaustion, it became almost second nature to Noah.
I used this downtime to reflect on my current situation. My personality and behavior seem to have shifted somewhat from how they were in my previous life. Noah's personality and life have, in some ways, merged with mine — Ethan's — forming the person I am today. I sometimes catch myself having tics, reactions, and even thought patterns that weren't familiar to me before.
For example, in the novel, Noah harbored a deep hatred for House Silvaris and the celestials, whom he blamed for his misfortunes. Noah was an extremely selfish individual: almost everything he did was for himself, willing to sacrifice his humanity and hurt others to achieve his goals.
Recently, while scrolling online as usual, I found myself clenching my fists or feeling a surge of bitterness whenever I saw mentions of House Silvaris or the celestials. I've had to accept that Noah's past and experiences are now partly mine, as are some of his goals. Of course, I'm not exactly like him — I have my own way of handling things.
You might wonder why I chose to follow the story and enroll in the academy when nothing truly forces me to. Several reasons drive me. First, I had already registered for the academy before I was transmigrated into this world and body. Secondly, Noah's fate is intrinsically tied to Liam's, which means he is destined to be at the center of major events. This was particularly emphasized in the novel. If I were to avoid the academy, where the main characters gather and where progression is optimal, I probably wouldn't survive long. It's a matter of survival.
Of course, Noah knew none of this — he wanted to go to the academy to find a way to repair his core and become strong enough to achieve his goals. A part of me wants the same.
But there's also another reason, one that's more trivial and strange: I don't entirely dislike my current situation.
Learning that I had a second chance at life didn't particularly thrill me, but being thrust into this story — a story that accompanied me for much of my life and one I loved until the end — is, in a way, exciting, even if I don't fully understand why I got this opportunity. Just meeting characters like Camila and Darius has given me a new spark. I can't fully explain it, but it's… fun, somehow.
Anyway, tomorrow is the big day. The day the story truly begins: the Eloria Academy. But today isn't just any day either.
It's Noah's birthday. Today, I turn 18.
Needless to say, no one wished me anything. Honestly, I don't really mind. It's not as if I'm unfamiliar with this kind of solitude.
In fact, it's interesting to note how similar Noah's life is to mine as Ethan, even though they were built on different foundations.
A memory surfaced, vivid and painful: my parents celebrating my birthday when I was a child. I see them, their faces lit up with joy as I eagerly unwrapped my gifts. It was a simple moment, but full of warmth. The brightness of their smiles, the carefree nature of that time — everything seemed perfect back then.
I frowned, my hand instinctively pressing against my forehead, just between my brows, where a dull ache lingered, like an invisible weight pressing down on me. A heavy sigh escaped, laden with nostalgia and melancholy.
These memories… I know they're mine. But, in truth, they belong to Noah. Not Ethan. Noah. They're from a bygone past, from a family shattered before I could fully grasp the depth of what I had lost.
"Some mood I'm in…" I murmured bitterly, my voice barely audible.
Ding–!
A sudden sound broke the silence. My phone buzzed. Curious, I picked it up to see what it was about. Who could be messaging me? After all, Noah was a loner at this point in the story. He didn't have anyone close enough to send him a text or anything of the sort.
⟨Camila Alves⟩
[Camila: Happy Birthday.]
"…"
'What's her deal?'
I frowned as I hesitated before tapping on the holographic screen.
[Camila: Happy Birthday.]
[Me: How do you know?]
'That's suspicious… I know she's an excellent analyst, but did I really let anything slip that would reveal my birthdate?'
Ding–!
Another message popped up.
[Camila: Go to hell.]
"???"
As I stared, puzzled by her sudden shift, another notification appeared almost immediately.
[Camila: It's plastered all over your profile, genius! And maybe say thank you next time someone wishes you a happy birthday dumbass.]
"…Oh."
'That makes sense… I really need to remove that from my profile.'
But another thought crossed my mind.
"…Then again, maybe keeping it there wouldn't be so bad."
I quickly typed a reply, trying to smooth things over.
[Me: Oh, I didn't notice. Sorry, and thanks.]
I locked my phone and sighed, running a hand through my hair absentmindedly. The air in the room suddenly felt stifling. Without much thought, I grabbed the pack of cigarettes I'd left on the coffee table and headed toward the window.
Once there, I pushed it open, letting the cool breeze hit my face. I lit a cigarette. The first drag filled my lungs, warm and soothing. I let the smoke escape slowly, curling into lazy spirals before dissolving into the air.
Leaning against the window frame, I let my gaze wander across the view outside.
'Happy birthday, huh…'
I took another puff, savoring the brief moment of calm.
'Tomorrow's a big day.'