[SCENE — AFTERNOON | KUROSAKI CLINIC | FRONT DOOR OPENS WITH A CHIME]
Ichigo, in all his orange-haired, slightly-too-serious glory, opens the door mid-sip of iced tea... only to freeze like someone just paused his animation frame.
Standing there was Sora.
That wasn't the weird part.
The weird part?
Beside him stood a man who looked like someone took Ichigo, aged him up about 30 years, gave him Zhongli's fashion sense, slapped gold-rimmed shades on his face, and dipped him in divine olive oil. His aura didn't just radiate power—it hummed with existence. The air behind him looked denser. Time might've been moving slower. He literally sparkled.
Sora grinned like a lunatic.
"Yo Ichigo. Found your long-lost older brother. You're welcome."
Ichigo: "...Huh?"
Soul King: stares deadpan, resisting the urge to commit regicide.
"See, you both have the hair thing going on—like BAM! And he's got the same resting disappointed face. Honestly, I'm starting to see where you got it from."
Ichigo blinked again. "Sora, where the hell did you find—"
Ichigo was more than stunned. The fuck was that? Truly, the fuck was that BS.
"His name is... Itchigō Zangetsuen. Distant relative. Very distant. On your soul's paternal side."
The Soul King did not move. He did not breathe. He was judging Sora with divine silence.
Meanwhile, in Ichigo's inner world—
Old Man Zangetsu opened his eyes.
Wide. Sharp. Like someone dropped a memory bomb in his lap.
"...No. It can't be..."
"Yo, what's with the sudden—" White stopped mid-sentence, then saw what made the old man freeze.
"...That's... him."
"You mean the walking Sephiroth OC next to Sora?" White's simple answer. He had no clue who the man next to Sora was.
Old Man Zangetsu's voice grew distant. "...My father."
"Wait, you have a dad?" White was honestly shocked. For real, this old man had a dad? He kinda just expected him to pop into existence when Ichigo was born or something.
Old Man Zangetsu didn't answer.
Back in reality, Ichigo crossed his arms. "Sora. I have so many questions."
Sora clapped his hands. "All of which I'll ignore because I'm doing this for your own good."
He turned to the Soul King and gestured flamboyantly. "Now, say something cool like—'I am the blade that cleaves fate.' Or no—wait—'I watched your birth, Ichigo.' C'mon, make it emotional!"
The Soul King raised a brow. "I am not a performer."
"You cosplayed as a karaoke god, but THIS is too far!?"
"I wore a suit and sang," he replied flatly. "You asked me to wear a school uniform, dye my hair orange, and shout BANKAI in public. There is a difference."
Sora pouted.
Ichigo rubbed his temple. "Okay, no offense, but who even is this guy?" Wait, did he say dye his hair?
Was Sora fucking with him again?
Sora crossed his arms. "Only the literal King of Souls, Ichigo. The dude who exists between worlds. Your divine upstream ancestor. Your metaphysical Sugar Daddy. The Big Bang with legs."
Ichigo stared.
Then looked at the Soul King.
Then looked at Sora.
"...You really need a hobby."
"I had one," Sora muttered. "It was being a god. But now I cosplay morality with this guy who thinks Fullbringers are underrated."
The Soul King looked proud.
Ichigo just deadpanned. What kind of bullshit was this? This felt like a crackhead fic, really. Looking at Sora, he felt like the guy was planning something. The question now was... what?
The Soul King blinked.
"Anyway, you are a Fullbringer. The Fullbringer groups have eyes for you, so I want you to introduce Adyneus here as a new Fullbringer," he said with a smile.
"Let's say I agree to help—what would even be his Fullbring?" Ichigo asked, looking at his friend.
"Everything."
"Heh?" Ichigo replied, stunned. The hell you mean 'everything'?
"Did you miss the part where I said he was the Soul King...?"
Ichigo blinked. Hm. He thought Sora was kidding. 90% of the time when Sora opened his mouth, some bullshit came out. He was quite talented in the art of random bullshit-go.
But really, the Soul King?
"Wait... how the hell did you manage to have him here? Isn't he supposed to still be up in the Royal Palace?" Ichigo glanced at Sora.
"Well, he is," Sora said with an innocent smile.
"Sora... did you just commit grand theft...?"
"I did no such thing. The fact that you would even think of me as someone who would do that seriously hurts me," Sora said, acting hurt.
Meanwhile, the Soul King was giving Sora the meanest side-eye. As if this man wasn't robbing a bank like a couple minutes ago.
Yes. A couple minutes ago. It hadn't even been an hour yet. The gall of this boy.
Truly no shame.
"Yes, I take you as the kind of person to do that," Ichigo replied with a dead blank face.
"Well, even if I did, you and Uryu would be accomplices to the crime," Sora said with a smile.
Ichigo's brow furrowed. He didn't like this.
"In my defense, I just rescued my papa, so it's fine."
"Wait, the Soul King's your dad?" Ichigo was surprised.
"I thought it was Aizen..."
"I mean yeah, but due to shenanigans—Aizen, Soul King, and Ryuken are my dads," Sora explained.
A light seemed to click in Ichigo's eyes. Wait, did that mean—
REWIND
"Yes, I take you as the kind of person to do that," Ichigo replied with a dead blank face.
The Soul King gave Sora the meanest side-eye. For real.
Ichigo brows furrow, something felt off.