---
Naruto lay bored on the grass.
"Where to escape~!" Jiraiya's figure came running from a distance. "Run away~!"
Behind him, a mob of angry ronin wielding clubs and machetes chased after him.
"Bastard! Stop right there!"
"Leave the sake money, you damn freeloader!"
Naruto: ...
"You're the same idiot as always," Naruto sighed. "Scammed once, and you still fall for it again."
Suddenly, three kunai shot out from the grass, aimed directly at Naruto and Jiraiya!
"Huh?" Naruto tilted his head slightly, letting the kunai zip past and bury themselves in the crowd of ronin.
"AHH—MY LEG!!!"
The ronin all skidded to a stop and dropped to the ground in synchronized panic.
"S-Sumimasen! We were wrong! Great Ninja-sama!"
Naruto, Jiraiya: "…"
Naruto simply waved them off, then turned to look in the direction from where the kunai had come.
A boy in a wrestling mask with curly hair was standing at the edge of the grass, watching them.
"Crap! Wrong person!" the boy muttered. When he saw the Konoha forehead protector on Naruto's neck, he panicked and quickly threw down a smoke bomb.
"Hey, wait—!" Before Jiraiya could finish, the boy vanished into the smoke.
"Not chasing him?" Jiraiya asked.
"He'll be back," Naruto said with a chuckle.
Jiraiya looked confused.
---
Land of Rice Fields, Small Road to Fuma Town
"Yukishi! Finally here!" Jiraiya shouted excitedly. "The busiest inn street in the Land of Rice Fields! Let's go!"
Clack!
Naruto tossed another stack of ryo into Jiraiya's hand.
"You go. I'll wait outside," Naruto said, shaking his head.
"HUH?!" Jiraiya dropped to his knees, staring at Naruto. "Are you even still Naruto?!"
"Get lost! Go on, scram!" Naruto growled with a black line forming across his face, physically pushing Jiraiya toward the town.
"Fine, fine!" Jiraiya rushed away toward the inns, money in hand. "Time to investigate! Hehehe!"
Naruto strolled casually outside the town's gates.
"I, Uzumaki Naruto, would never be seduced by the vulgar temptations of this town!"
Right as he said that, Naruto suddenly remembered the boy in the wrestling mask from earlier. He grinned. "Heh~"
"Shadow Clone Technique!"
Poof! A second Naruto appeared beside him.
"I'm coming!"
"I'm coming too!"
"Rock, paper, scissors!"
"YES! I won!"
The clone Naruto cheered triumphantly.
Naruto looked at the overly excited clone with a twitch in his brow. "Seriously? Can't my Shadow Clones ever be normal?"
The real Naruto snapped his fingers. "Transformation Technique!"
Poof!
The Shadow Clone who had just taken a sip of his drink sprayed it everywhere.
"Are you an idiot!?" the clone yelled, panicking. "Where are the clothes?!"
"Ahem~ Sorry," Naruto scratched his cheek sheepishly. "I'm too used to the Sexy Jutsu… Transform!"
Poof!
Standing there now was Naruko Uzumaki in casual travel clothes, her orange hair tied in two buns and looking radiant.
The Shadow Clone let out a long sigh. "I swear… how have you survived this long without being murdered? It must be your strength…"
They walked a few more steps when suddenly, a figure tumbled out of the nearby woods.
It was the same masked boy from earlier!
Naruto and his clone's eyes lit up.
The boy collapsed onto the roadside, blood trailing from a wound on his back. Countless shuriken followed, slicing through the air toward him.
The two Narutos exchanged a quick glance.
Classic! That's the real body's instinct! the clone cursed as he shouted, "Earth-Style: Earth Shore Return!"
He slapped the ground, erecting a wall of earth between the incoming projectiles and the wounded boy.
But when the dust cleared, the real Naruto had already rushed forward, scooping the boy onto his back and sprinting away.
"MMPH!" The Shadow Clone gritted his teeth and chased after him.
---
Three ninja leapt out from the woods behind them.
"Damn, he got away?" muttered Fuma Cannon Fodder #1, wielding giant nail clippers.
"No worries. My lovely children already laid the silver road for them," chuckled Fuma Cannon Fodder #2, spider-like in posture.
"So pitiful. Don't even know what kind of half-assed ninja dared sneak into this country. Bad luck running into us," said #1 proudly.
"Anyway, anyone trying to infiltrate here is obviously after Orochimaru-sama," added #2.
Cannon Fodder #3, half-buried in dirt, laughed creepily: "Hehehe!"
A gust of wind swept by, and the three vanished into the trees.
---
Inside an old temple outside town
When the boy awoke from unconsciousness, he saw two faces staring at him—Naruto and Naruko Uzumaki.
"You would've died from tetanus with that infected wound," Naruko said cheerfully. "Luckily, I brought some antiseptic. Let me treat you!"
Before the boy could respond, Naruto turned to his clone with a smile. "Get lost."
Shadow Clone: "...You bastard."
With great reluctance, the Shadow Clone walked outside the temple.
Back inside, Naruko smiled gently. "Relax, I know. Just let me take a look at the wound."
The boy hesitated for a moment, then took off his hood and top.
What was revealed was a surprisingly smooth, jade-like back—marred by a savage, bloody gash.
---
Outside, the Shadow Clone was pacing and grumbling to himself.
"Lolitas have three good qualities! Petite bodies, soft voices, and easy to—ARGH! DAMN MY BODY!"
Suddenly—
"It's done!" Naruto called.
The clone rushed back in, only to see Naruko looking at her hands and giggling with a faint blush on her cheeks.
Shadow Clone: "..."
#TMD!!!
"My name is Fuma Sasame, but you can call me Sasha," the girl said shyly. "Thank you for saving me."
Naruto and his Shadow Clone gave her a synchronized thumbs-up. "No problem!"
Sasha: "???"
---
After a while, Sasha explained her origins.
She was a descendant of the Fuma Clan, long fallen from glory. Dreaming of reviving her family name, she'd tried to persuade the local daimyo to rebuild a ninja village.
She began gathering ninjutsu, tricking various wandering ninja to conduct experiments.
Her cousin Arashi—nicknamed "Ran"—was among those drawn into it. There was a vague story about birthday noodles, but she brushed over that part quickly.
Naruto and his clone nodded earnestly.
"I'm going to save Cousin Arashi!" Sasha declared passionately. "Even if I'm small and weak, and my ninjutsu is poor…"
"But you're a loli!" Naruto and his Shadow Clone interrupted together.
Sasha: "...I feel like something's wrong here."
"That's why I infiltrated the Hidden Sound Village to rescue him," she continued. "But I was discovered and chased down."
"Leave it to us!" Naruto and the clone said in unison, holding their thumbs up.
Sasha: "…" Do I even need to act anymore? This entire sob story was completely unnecessary…
Suddenly, a spider dropped from the ceiling.
Everyone looked up.
"F***! Fire Style: Dragon Flame Jutsu!" the Shadow Clone yelled.
BOOM!
The entire roof exploded.
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