The car was full of surprises, and the driver was clearly out of his mind.
Baki—yes, the dude-turned-human-car—drove like Fujiwara freakin' Takumi, drifting out of a drainage ditch at one point. We chased him for ages and still couldn't catch up.
(꒪Д꒪)ノ
"He actually got away..." I wheezed, bent over with my hands on my knees, lungs burning.
"I'm hungry," Luffy groaned from the ground, tongue out like a dying dog.
"You… didn't you just eat?" Zoro grunted, bracing himself with a sword like it was a crutch.
"Woof woof!"
[Wait. Was that a dog? Is a dog barking at us right now??]
Sure enough, there it was. A not-so-bright-looking mutt standing in front of a house, yapping like it owned the place.
"Hey, are you inviting us for dinner?" Luffy asked it, dead serious.
"How is that even... Never mind," I muttered, rubbing my temples.
"I think it wants to show us something," Zoro said, looking like he actually believed that.
[What is going on in your heads?]
I was too tired to argue anymore.
"Who are you?! Don't bully Chouchou!" a voice shouted.
I looked up and saw a guy dressed like he'd lost a bet with a hardware store. His face resembled the dog's—no offense to the dog.
Zoro stared. "You… who are you?"
"I'm Bootle, mayor of Orange Town!" he announced, striking a pose that somehow made him look older.
Just then, Nami came skidding around the corner, panting. "Who are you people? You run like you're built different!"
The three of us tilted our heads simultaneously. I'm pretty sure cartoon question marks floated over us.
[Lady, we were just chasing a drifting man-car. And we're the weird ones?]
I tried to focus. "So what now? We don't even know where Buggy's hiding."
Nami, still catching her breath, said, "Why bother? Let's just steal his treasure."
"Can't do that. If we don't take him out, this town's toast." I answered on autopilot.
Nami gave us a sharp look. "Aren't you pirates? Isn't taking stuff your whole thing?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Honestly, I had no idea what to say to that. Technically true. Spiritually? More complicated.
"You're pirates?! Stay away from Chouchou!" Bootle suddenly freaked out, pointing what looked like a DIY weapon at us.
And that's when the circus showed up.
"ROOOAAAR!"
We all jumped. A hulking lion twice my height snarled at us, a scrawny guy with a bizarre jester hat sitting on its back like a discount ringmaster.
Buggy was standing dead center, a set of bubbling hot pots steaming in front of him. Behind him were pirates so weird-looking I felt like I was the one hallucinating.
"Oh hey! Big Nose, we were just coming to find you!" Luffy beamed.
Buggy's face cracked.
"WHO are you calling Big Nose?! Buggy Bomb, FIRE!!"
The cannonball rocketed at us—only to bounce right off Luffy's rubber body and explode back in their direction. Buggy and his gang got sent flying in a shower of clown makeup and embarrassment.
I facepalmed.
[There's a reason this guy can't catch a break.]
They all crawled out of the rubble, dazed but somehow still functional. Buggy's smile had twisted into a snarl.
"Kill them all!" he roared.
Yeah, that's reasonable.
The lion guy charged first.
"I'm Mochi, the animal tamer! Today's your death day! Liki, GO!"
I sidestepped the lion's claw and smacked it in the neck—hard.
Liki's eyes rolled back. The beast collapsed like a tranquilized circus act. Mochi shrieked as he fell off, scrambling to his feet and backing away.
"B-big bro, that was just a performance, y'know? Just a gag. Funny, right?"
I stared him down. Said nothing.
Sweat beaded down his face. He kept smiling. Sort of.
"…Why are you wearing that ridiculous hat?" I asked.
He blinked. "Th-this? It's not a hat, big bro. It's my hair…"
[Nope. I refuse.]
I smacked him a few more times just to be sure. He whimpered out a strained "Awesome…"
…Meanwhile, Zoro had his own opponent.
Clang!
The guy on the unicycle—yes, a unicycle—stabbed forward, only to be blocked by Zoro's swords.
"I'm Kabaji! Chief of Staff of the Buggy Pirates! Swordsman extraordinaire!"
Zoro grinned. "I'm Roronoa Zoro. Swordsman of the Straw Hat Pirates. Let's go."
Kabaji, never one for fair fights apparently, shouted, "Acrobatics: Fire-Breathing!"
He spat fire. Literal fire. Zoro jerked his head back just in time, only to get kicked in the side and sent flying.
"Acrobatics: Steam Murder!" Kabaji yelled, steam rising as he followed up with another slash.
Zoro twisted midair, landed on his feet with a somersault, and crossed his blades in front of him.
"…Your acrobatics are boring," he said coldly. "I've had enough."
Kabaji's eye twitched. "HOW DARE YOU! I'll show you real swordsmanship!"
He lunged.
"Three-Sword Style: Demon Slash."
Zoro vanished.
Kabaji froze—then three ghostly slashes appeared across his body. He collapsed, defeated, as Zoro calmly sheathed his swords.
"I won't lose a swordsman's duel," Zoro muttered.
Not a boast. A vow.
…As for Buggy?
He didn't care his crew was getting destroyed. His whole focus was the straw hat on Luffy's head. He attacked like it was personal—like the hat itself had wronged him.
In the end, Luffy let himself get tied up just to protect it. But then—
"Eraser-Pistol!"
He launched his fist, stretching past Buggy's fragmented defense, and nailed him square in the nose.