So, uh, quick update: The Vision Hunt Decree? Yeah, that's gone. Abolished. Wiped out. Thanks to a bit of divine intervention and the world's most dramatic mental breakdown in the Plane of Euthymia, Raiden Ei finally unlocked her heart like it was a suspicious chest in the Chasm. Congrats to her, for real.
Now, instead of trying to yeet everyone's ambitions into a blender, she's all about understanding them. Growth. Character development. We love to see it.
Some ambitions are powerful enough to start wars, end them, heal wounds, destroy nations, or… you know, make a guy willing to walk through lightning storms with nothing but his sarcasm and bad decisions. Not saying that's me, but yeah, it's totally me. Except I don't have a vision.
Anyway, I'm now sitting in the Kamisato estate garden, sipping tea with Ayato, who for some reason insists on being the definition of elegance and sass at the same time. And with us? Surprise guest: La Signora herself. Yep. The formerly-to-be-incinerated Harbinger. Still hot. Still dangerous. Still wondering why I dragged her back from the brink of plot death.
Ayato sets down his teacup with that annoyingly graceful motion of his. "So that's what actually happened, huh? Interesting. Seems like the Shogun's heart isn't as cold as people thought."
I nod, dramatically wiping fake tears. "Yeah man, it was so intense I kinda wish you were there to save me. Could've been our bro moment. Thunder and elegance."
He chuckles. "I believe you can still pull it off without me. After all, I'm just a Commissioner."
Me: audibly snorts tea through nose "Oh come on, man!" I leaned in like a high school girl gossiping. "You're literally a one-man army. Don't think I didn't hear about the time you 1v10'd a bunch of Fatui Skirmishers and a Mirror Maiden while sipping bubble tea and adjusting your bangs."
Ayato: sip Translation: He knows but he's pretending he doesn't because he's humble like that.
He tries to switch the topic. "So? What should we talk about? And why is Miss Harbinger here with us again?"
Signora lets out the most elegant sigh of annoyance I've ever heard. "There's probably a reason why you saved someone like me, correct?"
I nod with all the seriousness I can fake. "Absolutely. We're about to talk about something real serious. Like, plot-twist serious. And also, you're hot. But mostly plot."
She raises an eyebrow. Ayato just watches like he's front row at a drama stage.
"You see," I continue, now pouring more tea because plot exposition needs hydration, "I kinda know what the Tsaritsa is planning."
That gets her attention.
"Yeah," I say with a smirk, "we know it. The whole squaring up with Celestia thing. Gotta say, bold move. But also kinda impossible, unless you've got an army the size of Teyvat's entire population plus twenty more Archons."
Ayato remains oddly quiet. I glance at him. He looks like he's calculating seventeen different outcomes at once. Probably wondering how deep this rabbit hole goes. (Spoiler: it goes really deep.)
"Am I supposed to be here?" he finally asks. "Is it fine to talk about this with me? Isn't it more appropriate to talk to Lady Guuji and the Shogun about this?"
I waggle a finger like I'm scolding a child. A rich, powerful, extremely dangerous child.
I lean in, whispering like this is top-secret insider trading. "They've got their own agendas. This? This is limited edition. VIP access only. Three people know. Me, Morax, and Barbatos."
Ayato: spits tea
"The Archons themselves?!"
"Yup. One I bribed with wine. The other? I made a contract to help bring back his dead wife."
Signora, now questioning her life decisions, mutters, "So why me again?"
I grin. "Because I need someone who can talk to Snezhnaya. Someone terrifying. Someone with a high heel to diplomacy ratio. That's you."
She pauses. Thinks. Then shrugs.
"Well, if that's the case, I don't see any problem. But is there a reason you saved me in particular?"
I tap my chin thoughtfully, but really I already had an answer locked and loaded.
"Well... a war this big, involving all of Teyvat and Celestia? We need every powerhouse we can get. And you, dear Signora, are one of the strongest. Makes sense to save you."
I pause.
I think deeply for half a second. "Well, yeah. That, and again, very hot."
She sighs. Deeply. The kind of sigh that ages you ten years.
"I knew you had ulterior motives."
She sighs. Ayato chuckles.
Then he hits me with a curveball.
"If I may ask… I know I asked before, but why did you push me toward a marriage proposal with Chiori?"
I lean back, grinning like I'm about to sell snake oil.
"Connections, baby. We need alliances. Power. Fontaine's got fame and innovation, and Chiori's basically a celebrity with scissors. You two? Power couple. You with your elegance. Her with her sass. That's fireworks. Instagram-worthy couple posts? Guaranteed."
He narrows his eyes. "So this is about using her influence."
"And also," I add, "I ship it."
Now I look at both of them.
"This isn't an order. Not a command. I'm just asking… as someone who's trying to save Teyvat before it becomes Celestia's next crispy domain. I'll owe you both. Tenfold. A thousandfold. Infinite-fold."
Ayato sighs. "If that's what you wish… after all, you did save Inazuma."
Signora adds, "Very well. Consider this repayment. But don't expect me to be nice."
We all sip tea in the most dramatic anime rooftop way possible. Wind blowing. Leaves fluttering. Camera slowly panning.
Ayato suddenly goes, "By the way, where's that blond-haired traveler and the floating fairy you're usually with?"
I stare at the sky like I'm remembering debts.
"Still doing their own thing. Finding the truth about the world. Being mysterious. Probably arguing about food."
Ayato hums. Signora closes her eyes. I finish my tea.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, I wonder how much longer we can keep this peace before everything falls apart again.
But hey—at least the tea's good.
***
Okay, so let me get this straight: I just finished tea diplomacy with Ayato and Signora — yes, that Signora, the literal popsicle lady. Somehow didn't die. Somehow convinced her to help me. Somehow didn't get stabbed. Win-win-win.
Anyway, after saying our heartfelt goodbyes — Ayato with his "you're the savior of Inazuma" and Signora with her "you have ulterior motives, don't you?" (guilty as charged) — I peaced out like a hero after a fireworks show. Boom. Curtain call.
Next stop? Fetching my two favorite travel companions: Lumine and the floating emergency ration.
I strut up the Sacred Sakura at the Grand Narukami Shrine like I own the place (I don't), and there they are. Lumine, looking all elegant and cool. Paimon, flapping her tiny wings and probably thinking about food.
"Yo! You done with your business?" I say with peak protagonist energy.
"Shigeru!" Paimon screams as she body slams me mid-air like she's auditioning for the WWE. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, missed you too, flying food," I mutter, patting her like a cat I never asked for.
Lumine just nods, as calm as ever. "Yes. We're finished talking."
"Alright then! Time for our next journey! Let's get this bread—or whatever they eat in Sumeru."
But wait, plot twist! Yae Miko, aka Miss Foxy Sassmaster Supreme, calls me over.
"Shigeru," she says in that voice that makes you question your entire existence, "Before you go, a word."
And because I'm emotionally available and kinda scared of her, I approached. "Waddup, foxy?"
She chuckles like I'm a toddler pretending to be scary. "Still as rude as ever, I see."
"That's what makes me lovable," I shoot back with a grin.
Yae's tail flicks. Dangerous. Elegant. Probably expensive to dry clean.
"Well, first of all. I want to thank you—for helping with Ei."
I give her a two-finger salute. "Shucks, no biggie! That's what compassionate idiots—I mean heroes do."
She pauses. "So? Aren't you going to ask why I gave the Gnosis to the Balladeer?"
I shrug. "Nah. That was meant to happen.n. I wanted to give it to Signora instead to lessen my workload, but, ya know, destiny's got better lawyers than I do. It is what it is."
Yae actually laughs. Real, legit giggle. What is this? Character development?
"You really are an interesting one," she says.
"Thanks! I thrive on chaos and mild disrespect."
Then she tilts her head. "Did you manage to get what you came here for?"
I smiled like I just pulled five stars on a single wish. "I got more than what I was expecting."
With the Yae Side Quest over, we bounce. Walking through Inazuma City like a squad on a magazine cover. Cue music. Paimon, naturally, asks:
"So? Where should we go next?"
I rubbed my chin dramatically, not because I was thinking, but because that's what cool travelers do. "I wanna head straight to Sumeru—"
BAD MOVE.
Lumine's ear twitched like a fox sensing betrayal.
She looked at me. "Why Sumeru in particular?"
I was about to say "for Nilou"—sweet dancing hydro angel of my dreams—BUT Paimon elbowed me and whispered like a true MVP,
"You better not, or she might kill you out of jealousy."
I laughed nervously. "Uh, yeah, Sumeru, but you know what? I've changed my mind!"
I wanted to live, thank you very much.
"I wanna go back to Liyue first." I said nervously "Yeah! Liyue! Definitely not in Sumeru! Not for Nilou! I mean, who is Nilou? I don't even know a Nilou! Sounds like a soup!"
Sweating. Profusely.
Both of them stare. Lumine's frown does a reverse Uno.
"Hmm? Why?"
I play it cool. I pretend to think hard.
"I, uh… want to ask Madam Ping about this thing called the Serenitea Pot. It's like... a teapot, but it's a HOUSE."
Paimon and Lumine: "A TEAPOT HOUSE?!"
I nod, full of dreams and dramatic purpose. "Yeah! Legit! Cozy, spacey, magical interior design! You can put pets and furniture! It's better than Airbnb!"
Paimon gasps. "Can Paimon have her own room?!"
"Sure," I say. "It'll be a soup bowl with wings."
Lumine tries not to laugh but fails. I live for that moment.
"So," I declare, pointing at the horizon like a pirate captain with debt. "Back to Liyue we go!"
And just like that, the team's back together, still dysfunctional, still chaotic, but stronger than ever. One mission at a time. One disaster at a time. And maybe—just maybe—we'll save the world.
But first, we need a teapot.
A really big one.
With extra space.
For secrets.
And snacks.
Just when we were about to peace out and teleport our tired butts straight to Liyue—BOOM! Destiny drop-kicked us in the back with a dramatic voice shoutin', "WAIT! HOLD ON!"
Naturally, we all did the slow turn like anime protagonists. And there he was—Teppei, our boy, our morale officer, our forever overly enthusiastic comrade—charging at us with the energy of a man who drank five Electro potions and maybe a triple espresso.
"Teppei!" Paimon waved, flailing like a sentient rice cracker.
"Traveler! Paimon! Vice-Commander!" he shouted, absolutely winded but still dramatically sprinting toward us like I was about to board a ship to Khaenri'ah and never come back.
Next thing I know, my shoulders are gripped like I was the last dango milk on the shelf.
"Vice-Commander! Are you really leaving!? What about the Army?! Me?! Your right-hand man?!"
I blinked. Then smiled—like, genuinely. Not the usual half-smirk I use to cover up sleep deprivation or emotional trauma.
"C'mon man," I said, patting his shoulders, "You know I can't stay here forever, right?"
His lip quivered. Don't cry, don't cry—
"And you," I added, holding his gaze, "You're already strong on your own. You've grown. You've become someone people look up to. A great man."
Teppei sniffled. Dang it. Now I'm getting emotional. Stupid feelings!
I pulled out my Prototype Rancour—my trusted blade, my beautiful iron baby—and handed it to him. He looked at it like I just gave him the holy grail dipped in golden Mora.
"As your Commander," I said, voice cracking a little, "I'm handing everything to you. From now on, you're the Vice-Commander. Lead the army to endless victory. Uphold justice. Because like I always say—"
Teppei, now sobbing but still a certified chad, finished my sentence:
"It's not a Vision that we need in order to fight… It's the heart of a warrior."
I SALUTE THIS MAN. MY BROTHER. MY COMRADE.
We shared a solid bro-nod. One final shoulder pat. And then, whoosh! Teleportation activated.
But as we vanished into sparkly blue light, I swear I heard his voice echo—
"VICE-COMMANDER! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!"
Boom. Tears. Actual tears. I wiped them off casually like some cool movie character, but inside, I was emotionally combusting.
Liyue, baby!
The moment we opened our eyes, we were surrounded by glorious mountains and economic power. The Geo archon's land! Home of food that could assassinate your arteries with flavor.
"Alright, gang!" I said, trying to mask my teary sniffles. "Let's go to Katheryne first!"
"Back to the daily grind!" Paimon cheered, floating like an overworked cloud.
We strut—well, I strut—into the Adventurers' Guild like we owned the place.
"Ad Astra Abyssosque!" Katheryne greeted us with her ever-so-professional robotic pep.
"Katheryne! Waddup!" I shot back, throwing a finger gun so fast I nearly pulled a tendon. Classic me.
She blinked—probably processing my glitchy energy—and smiled. "Oh! If it isn't you three! How's Inazuma?"
I dramatically clutched my chest. "Scary. Very scary. I'll think twice before going back there. Maybe even three times."
Lumine chuckled. Paimon high-fived my trauma.
After a few exchanges of greetings and general "we survived another region without permanent disfigurement" vibes, Katheryne clapped her hands together.
"Oh, that's right! There's something I'd like to give you. A Knight of Favonius left this earlier. It was addressed to you."
She handed us a fancy envelope. Real fancy. Like "someone spent actual Mora on this paper" fancy.
"Hmm?" I took it like I wasn't mildly terrified. "Are we supposed to receive this instead of a quest?"
Katheryne just smiled. Which immediately made me suspicious.
"It seems like… it's a wedding invitation."
"Oh, just a wedd—" I paused. Froze. Reeled.
"WAIT... A WHAT NOW?!?!"
____________________________
End of Chapter 66
Quests Completed:
*Have emotionally confusing moments with both Ayato and Signora and recruit them to join the rebellion disguised as a wine club.
*Reunite with Lumine and Paimon at the shrine.
*Talk with the ever-sassy and dangerously clever Yae Miko while being mysterious, charming, scared but still emotionally available.
*Meet Teppei before teleporting out and pass down your sword, your title, and your emotionally constipated blessings.
*Leave a grown man crying in front of a teleport waypoint.
*Visit Katheryne, sass her before she can even finish her slogan and discover a mysterious letter that turns out to be a... WEDDING INVITATION?!
Rewards:
*+1 Commissioner and 1 Harbinger comrades in wine and tea.
*+500 Friendship XP with Signora
*+1000 Friendship XP with Ayato
*-1 Prototype Rancour (Transferred to Teppei)
*+100 Luck (After not being killed by Lumine)
*+10,000 Emotional XP
*+500 Friendship/Jealousy Combo EXP with Lumine
*+100 Food-Based Loyalty Points to Paimon
*+1 Random wedding invitation
*Paimon's Quote of the Chapter: "She might kill you out of jealousy!" (Translation: You're on thin ice, simp boy.)