Dude: ughh.... uhhh....
Dasch: here you're are back.
Dude: i... i had... a dream
Dasch: okay?
Dude: i don't know if you're ready to hear it.
Dasch: i wasn't expecting it.
Dude: i might as well not say what they were
Dasch: how bad could it be?
Dude: i confess there were beers and nuggets
Dasch: oh my goodness.
Dude: yeah, i thought nutcracking should have killed them off.
Dasch: all my hammering on your skull. now all for nothing.
Dude: maybe they were final traces. it's like a goodbye dream as a finale.
Dasch: i sure hope that's the case. we can double down with another nutcraking session perhaps.
Dude: i barely just woke up. what madness is with you.
Dasch: i couldn't help but feel committed to finishing whatever we have embarked on.
Dude: another nutcraking will just kill me before destorying those nuggets and beers.
Dasch: they're harder to break than i thought. it's no easy feat.
Dude: consider how long they've stuck with me. we can't just get rid of them like that.
Dasch: now i actually fear they're to stay with you forever for the rest of your life.
Dude: what can i say. we still came a long way. we can't let down that effort and hard work. maybe it's only just a beginning.
Dasch: maybe it was our fool's hope to think that years of your obsession would perish easily.
Dude: i don't blame us. it's the freaking nuggets and beers that are so tempting.
Dasch: if only i hammered you much harder... maybe with a help of monkey spanner...the nut'd have stood no chance.
Dude: hey, we are not going there again. plus that would put me under coma close to death.
Dasch: okay no more misgivings and regrets.
Dude: at least, i came back alive. that nutcraking was nothing i actually agreed to, to begin with. you could've easily killed me.
Dasch: i gave the best shot, given the situation. no harm intended. it was like giving a CPR.
Dude: no it was the very opposite of that, you hammered me to a sleep.
Dasch: wouldn't you still say it was one of your deepest sleeps you got recently?
Dude: it could've been so deep that I could've not lived to be awake. i'd rather stay alive eating nuggets and beers. and just meet my natural death.
Dasch: i know this therapy wasn't soft. it called for shock measures. you weren't ready of course, but that's what shock therapy is about. however unknown it was executed to you, you did not let it end your life. you deserve all the life you missed while dreaming those nuggets and beers. you were no weakling. you handled the nutcracking bravely.
Dude: your speech makes me feel like a patriot. i don't know which country i'm patriotic about. i just know that i suddenly feel like i'm a good citizen who deserves some medal and invitation to a white house.
Dasch: you sound like you've survived some national disaster and saved some lives. you barely saved your own.
that's not enough for a national hero.
Dude: forget all fleshy recognition and fame. i'm just thankful i didn't die from your ruthless hammering. you almost killed me. i hope you realize that.
Dasch: once again, it was emergency measure. the circumstance called for it. i had no choice but to proceed with what was the best given our options. what else could i've done instead? do you think i wanted to make such decision and risk the possibility of bludgeoning you to death?
Dude: you could've just not done anything. that would've been the simplest, easiest, and least deadly. to just let me be and leave me whole and as it were.
Dasch: you were drowning into a death river of nuggets and beers. you mistakened hell for heaven. you broke out of it. you are in good hands now.
Dude: i refuse my life to be in hands of no one. especially not my dog's paws.
Dasch: hey give me some credit will you. i'm telling you it was done out of medical intention.
Dude: you don't even have license to perform any medical operation. nor do i find nutcracking a patient's head any medical. you were more like an undertaker, sending me to near-death coma.
Dasch: i confess it was my first time ever trying it on someone. i just took a chance on you. you seemed to be in dire need.
Dude: yeah and you hammered me down like a nail. that was basically a guinea pig trial.
Dasch: it was all i could afford. there was no other way. look how you're now. you're more sober than ever. i've put you on the right path.
Dude: i'll make sure i owe you something as lifechanging when your time comes.
Dasch: are you perhaps looking for some kind of revenge?
Dude: i don't know. i think i might simply just practice nutcracking on you one day. it's a proven method now since you've done it for me. i'll just start hammering away whenever i see fit.
Dasch: i however do not have any addictions to beers nor nuggets. you can't just walk around and nutcrack people who are totally fine.
Dude: i think i have a very good reason to nutcrack you.
Dasch: i doubt you do.
Dude: you know it is not normal for dogs to be able communicate with humans.
Dasch: it's a rare case, which i'm very one of.
Dude: i think it's time for you to return to your natural state. it's not a health sign that you can talk to me. i think you need to be nutcracked to go back to the dog that you usually were.
Dasch: look, you can't just blame all that on me. it's you who can talk to me out of all the humans on this Earth. That means you need to be nutcracked as well.
Dude: no, i think it's all you. i decide to believe it's all you. no more nutcracking for me. i've done my round. it's your turn whatsoever.
Dasch: now it just sounds like you want to hammer me without any justification for health or recovery. you just want to me to feel the same pain.
Dude: and i really think this will be done quick and quiet if i can shut that nonstop chippering mouth of yours. hold still.
Dasch: i think you're talking like someone unafraid to go into prison.
Dude: just speak one more time and let's see what happens. just stay right there doggy.
Dude gets up. Dasch runs out. Dude slowly follows. Dasch hides under the desk in the living room.
Dude: wait puppy. don't you hide from me. where're you darling. let's have a little chat like we always do. don't you betray me.
Dude turns around heading towards kitchen.
Dude: slurping some milk, puppy? where are you.
Dasch leaps out towards the back od Dude's head, hammers it down with ultimate blow, and quickly disappears. Dude loses his balance, walking dizzy and holding his head.
Dude: no this can't be... not again...
Dude manages to crawl back into his room and lie on his bed, falling asleep.
Dasch returns and stand on top of Dude's chest. Dude can hazily see Dasch smiling with his tongue out.
Dude: you...sucker..
Dasch: sweet dream... dreamer
Dude: no... no....
Dasch rests his paws on Dude's eyes and closes them. Dasch slurps Dude's face.
Dasch: tastes like a nutcrack... hehe