Lu Yan returned to the Lu ancestral home in an introspective mood.
Entering through the same side gate, she walked to her boudoir.
Inside, Chen Hai was waiting. Lu Yan's heart skipped a beat, but she smiled naturally in greeting.
"I thought you were sleeping," Chen Hai said, "But I couldn't find you."
"I went for a walk." Lu Yan said, unfastening her outer robes.
Seeing his sullen expression, she asked, "What's wrong? Did something happen?"
He looked at her closely. He wanted to say, My brother mentioned that you would disappear for a while, probably to meet someone from Ji Jing's camp. I didn't believe him. Until you really disappeared.
Seeing her clear eyes, he hesitated, then said instead, "Lu Yan. Your cousin sister makes me feel awkward."
Lu Yan laughed, "I noticed she was looking at you throughout the meal."
Almost pouting, he asked, "Then why did you leave me there?"
She stepped closer to him, and her tone was teasing as she said, "I wanted to give her space to make a move. What did she do?"
Chen Hai looked away, "She wanted to play go with me. Actually, she's not as good as you. I won. Then she tried to give me her handkerchief."
Lu Yan laughed again, "She's actually very good. She lost on purpose. To make you feel good."
Chen Hai frowned as he looked at her smiling face, "Shouldn't you be the one who wants me to feel good? And why aren't you jealous?"
Lu Yan sat at her vanity, and started taking off her jewelry. Glancing back at him in the mirror, she said, "Should I let you win our go games from now on?"
Chen Hai stepped up behind her, watching her deft fingers un-pluck delicate ornaments from her hair.
Since he remained silent, Lu Yan continued, "I know her well. I wanted to give her a chance, only to see what she's up to. Now that she's made her move, I know what to expect. We can counter easily."
Chen Hai withdrew his gaze from her fingers and met her eyes in the reflection in the mirror, "So it was all a strategy?"
Lu Yan nodded, "Did you accept the handkerchief?"
Chen Hai shook his head.
Lu Yan smiled playfully, "Why don't you check your pockets?"
Frowning, he put his hands into his pockets. To his astonishment, the handkerchief was right there in the outermost pocket of his robes.
He stared at the embroidered silk, so stunned that he couldn't speak.
Lu Yan looked on and laughed at his surprise.
After meeting with Ji Jing, her heart was so much lighter. She felt like she hadn't laughed for a long time.
Standing up, she turned to him, and watched him watch the silk with a comic expression.
She couldn't resist the urge to poke his cheek, "You. You are just too innocent. If you're not careful, some woman will trap you and you won't even know."
Chen Hai hurriedly handed the handkerchief to her, asking pitifully, "But my wife will protect me, right?"
Lu Yan took the handkerchief, and dumped it carelessly on her vanity, "Only because you're so cute."
Chen Hai looked at her smiling expression. He felt like he hadn't seen her in ages.
Suddenly, he put his arms around her shoulders, and pulled her into a hug.
Surrounded by her scent, he inhaled deeply.
"Lu Yan," he said, and his lips brushed against the silky hair falling down her shoulders, "I like you. I really, really like you."
Lu Yan slowly put her arms up, and gently patted his back, and whispered back, "I like you too."
Chen Hai wanted to ask, If you like me, why does it feel like I'm slowly losing everything?
But, somewhere between his heart and his throat, the words got all clogged up. All he could do was clutch her tightly.
Lu Yan let him hug her for a few moments.
Then she slowly pulled away, and taking his hand, said, "There's still time until we set out for home. Let's take a nap."
He followed her to bed obediently.
Lu Yan laid down on her back. He lay on his side beside her, one arm around her.
Silence settled over the room.
Lu Yan was tired, and slowly drifting into sleep when he whispered quietly.
"Lu Yan?"
"Hmm?" Lu Yan asked without opening her eyes.
"Have you thought of names for our child?"
The question startled her into full awareness.
Lu Yan opened her eyes, and turned to look at him, "Not yet. I still can't really believe we're having a child."
"I find it hard to believe too," he admitted, "Sometimes I forget. Then I remember and I feel so surprised."
"I know what you mean," Lu Yan said, "For me it's more like, I don't forget- But sometimes the fear and expectation hits me like a galloping horse. I spend hours talking myself back into normalcy. Then it hits again."
Worriedly, he asked, "What are we going to do?"
Lu Yan smiled reassuringly, "Everyone else manages it. We'll find a way too."
He took her hand and threaded their fingers together, "It's good you're with me. You're so much more sensible than me."
Lu Yan smiled gently. Chen Hai smiled back.
Silence settled over them again.
Then Lu Yan said softly, "I found out that elder brother-in-law sabotaged my contraceptive soup."
Chen Hai's eyes snapped open in shock.
His eyes searched Lu Yan's, looking back and forth, trying to determine if she was telling the truth.
"It's alright if you don't believe me," Lu Yan said.
He sat up suddenly.
Unlike last time, he didn't immediately storm into a rage or walk away from her. He just sat there, unspeaking, looking down at her, breathing rapidly.
Lu Yan didn't move. She remained on her back, looking up at him with her large dark eyes.
Finally, he spoke. His voice was ragged, "Why? Why would he do something like this?"
Lu Yan wanted to shrug him off, but she couldn't bear to. She said, "He's trying to protect you."
"Protect me? From what?"
When Lu Yan remained quiet, he asked, "Are you really Ji Jing's disciple?"