**Chapter 15
System Heist Mode: Enabled**
The moon was high, silver and smug, bathing the Azure Mist mountains in eerie light. Crickets chirped. A fox demon yawned in a cave. Somewhere, an elder was composing a deeply philosophical poem titled *"Dao Is Just Quiet Suffering"*.
And Alex Reed?
He was crouched behind a giant ornamental cabbage in the inner sect courtyard, whispering like a lunatic.
"System," he said. "Listen very carefully. I need you to stop being a clown and start being my heist partner."
> *Correction: I'm a "cultivation assistant with boutique e-commerce support."*
"Tonight," Alex whispered, tying a black bandana around his forehead, "I stop being the dancing buffoon. I become the villain. And I want **a jackpot**. You're my GPS now, System. Take me to the treasure hoard."
> *…You're actually serious.*
"Dead serious. I need spirit stones, pills, forbidden manuals—anything shiny, ancient, or vaguely illegal."
> *Very well. Switching to Heist Mode… Initiating Treasure Sniffer Protocol… Scanning for high-tier cultivation loot…*
Alex crouched in anticipation. Somewhere, a cicada screamed.
> *Scan Complete.*
> *Top 3 Jackpot Targets Identified:*
>
> 1. **The Crimson Orchid Vault** – Inner Sect. Sealed with Triple Jade Formation. Houses spirit pills, rare herbs, and that one elder's private stash of romantic cultivation novels.
>
> 2. **The Hao Family Pavilion** – Rich family branch within sect. Vault secured by smugness and actual golden locks. Suspected to house rare beast cores and gold-tier spirit stones.
>
> 3. **Lotus Cloud Mistress's Private Repository** – Contains items marked "Extremely Do Not Touch." Including a Phoenix Flame Core, one Meteoric Yin Jade, and a very angry cursed flute.
Alex's eyes gleamed in the dark.
"I want all three."
> *Reminder: You are a Foundation Establishment weirdo in sneakers. Attempting all three could get you vaporized by a casual sigh.*
"That's why I'm going in **loud**… but **invisible**."
He pulled out a bottle labeled *'Vanishing Mist: Totally Not Flammable'* from the System shop. Sprayed it. Immediately sneezed violently and vanished from the visual spectrum.
"Let's start with the Hao Family," he whispered. "Nothing says cultivation villain like robbing rich kids in silk robes."
---
**Location: Hao Family Pavilion – 11:43 PM**
Guards: Sleeping. Formation: Sloppy. Ego defenses: High.
Alex crept through the shadows like a low-budget phantom.
He activated "Shadowstep: Level 1," which mostly just meant tiptoeing dramatically.
Inside the pavilion's inner vault, a golden glow pulsed from between spirit-sealed shelves.
> *Jackpot located. Contents:*
> – 34 spirit stones
> – 12 beast cores
> – 1 fire-element spirit robe
> – 1 heirloom scroll titled *"The Hao Way: Look Smug, Cultivate Hard"*
He pocketed everything except the scroll (he had standards), then dropped a decoy talisman that played "Epic Laughter.mp3" and slipped away.
---
**Location: Crimson Orchid Vault – 1:02 AM**
Alex stared at the triple jade formation.
"System, how do I crack this?"
> *You don't.*
> *But I *can* play obnoxiously sensual flute music at frequency 342hz, which will confuse the formation long enough for you to crawl in like a gremlin.*
"…You're weirder than me."
The music began. The formation pulsed awkwardly. Alex rolled inside and emerged with a bag full of herbs, one ancient pill glowing ominously, and—because he couldn't help himself—a romantic cultivation novel titled *"Forbidden Dual Cultivation With the Sword Saintess."*
---
**2:44 AM – Alex, Outside Lotus Cloud Mistress's Chamber**
He stood in front of the final vault, holding his breath.
"System. Open it."
> *You want to rob the most terrifying woman in the sect… at night… while she's likely meditating above her own murder vault?*
"Yes."
> *...You're into danger now, aren't you?*
"System," Alex whispered with a mad grin, "I'm the villain now."
> *Opening vault with… unauthorized charm.*
> *Warning: Proximity to 'Lotus Cloud Mistress' may trigger psychic detection. Suggest maximum speed. Or just… RUN.*
He dove in. Grabbed a meteor jade. Accidentally touched the cursed flute. The room screamed.
Lotus Cloud Mistress opened her eyes mid-meditation and raised one brow.
Alex, now covered in spectral soot and guilt, backflipped through the exit screaming, "I REGRET EVERYTHING AND ALSO NOTHING!"
---
**4:00 AM – Back in the cave**
Alex lay flat on the ground, panting, grinning, covered in loot, with the System playing jazz softly in the background.
> *You now possess enough resources to cultivate for the next three major arcs.*
> *Also, half the sect is awake, confused, and investigating reports of a very smug invisible thief.*
Alex raised a trembling fist. "Tonight… I danced through vaults like a shadow. I have **ascended**."
> *Correction: You have ascended to Public Enemy #3.*
> *…#2 after they find out about the woofer.*
Alex laughed.
Because this wasn't just a heist. It was his first step.
Not as a clown.
Not as a hero.
But as the **Demon God of Loot.**
And his legend had only just begun.