**Chapter 16
Angry Cultivators, Sticky Fingers, and the Lollipop Treaty**
By dawn, the Azure Mist Sect was no longer a serene sanctuary of martial enlightenment.
It was a **war zone of confusion and rage**.
All across the mountains, angry voices rang out like battle drums.
"Who dares steal from the Hao Pavilion?! Our beast cores! Our spirit robes! Even my *gold-threaded* undergarments!!"
"The Crimson Orchid Vault has been pillaged! MY MOONLIGHT HERBS! And someone took Elder Zhen's romantic novels! That sick degenerate!!"
"Someone entered *my* repository," said Lotus Cloud Mistress, calm as a glacier yet somehow scarier than anyone shouting. "They touched the cursed flute." She paused. "Only an idiot with no respect for life… or a very confident idiot would do that."
---
In a secret cave outside the main sect grounds, Alex was doing something very dangerous: **lounging in a pile of stolen cultivation loot while making pancakes.**
"System," he said, flipping one with questionable technique, "rate that heist."
> *Efficiency: 9/10
> Style: 10/10
> Longevity of survival if caught: 2/10*
"Perfect," Alex said, pouring spirit syrup. "Now I just lay low, cultivate, and—"
**Knock knock.**
"…Oh no."
The cave door creaked open.
In waddled the most fearsome person Alex had ever met.
**Yue'er.**
**Five years old.**
**Nascent Soul stage.**
**Previously the one who suplexed him into the dirt.**
She stood with her arms crossed, lollipop in one cheek, glaring at him with all the authority of a tiny divine elder.
"I smelled chocolate," she said simply.
Alex froze. "You… can *smell* chocolate from outside the cave?"
"I also smelled stolen beast cores," she added.
Alex paled.
Yue'er marched past the spirit-stone pile, picked up the Phoenix Flame Core, turned it upside down, and tapped it like a melon. "This doesn't belong to you."
"It… could?" Alex offered weakly.
She narrowed her eyes.
Then, **she spotted the cursed flute** sitting on a pile of romantic novels. Her pupils widened slightly.
"That flute is cursed. And *banned.* Why do you have it?"
Alex did what any self-respecting rogue villain would do when confronted by an overpowered toddler:
He **bribed** her.
"Wait, wait!" he said, scrambling through his System Inventory. "Would the Lady Yue'er like some… chocolate truffles? Caramel bombs? Oh! A limited edition rainbow swirl lollipop, imported from the Mortal Realm?"
Yue'er stopped mid-glare. Her eyes tracked the shimmering, rainbow candy like a divine treasure.
"…Two lollipops."
"Deal."
He handed them over with trembling reverence.
She snatched them, sat down cross-legged on his bed of spirit stones, and began munching thoughtfully. "You're very bad," she said between bites. "But I like the music your cart makes."
Alex blinked. "You've heard my woofer?"
She nodded. "It makes my spirit beasts dance."
"…Would you like to help me test some new remixes?"
She nodded solemnly.
And just like that, **a pact was forged.**
The toddler wouldn't snitch.
The rogue wouldn't get suplexed.
And in return—she got lollipops and exclusive remix drops.
> *System Notification:*
> *New Title Unlocked: "Shadow Snacklord – Has bribed a Nascent Soul child into silence with candy."*
Meanwhile, outside the cave…
Elders and angry heirs were coordinating a sect-wide investigation.
"He left no trace," one muttered. "He's like a ghost."
"But he *did* leave behind a sticky note," said another, holding up a paper that read:
**"Thanks for the loot – XOXO, The Dancing Demon"**
"WHO IS THIS 'DANCING DEMON'?!" the Hao heir screamed, shaking his fist.
Back in the cave, Yue'er held up the sticky note.
"You're the 'Dancing Demon'?" she asked.
Alex shrugged. "Gotta have branding."
She chewed thoughtfully.
Then whispered, "Next time… steal me a spirit pet. I want a baby dragon."
Alex stared.
Then nodded.
"…Done."
And just like that, the villain saga continued.
Bribed by candy. Backed by a five-year-old powerhouse.
The sect's greatest menace had only just begun his dance.