Ellen, you’ve always said ‘be kind,’ but let’s be honest—kindness isn’t always a choice, especially when life decides to dump on you. Your show gets canceled and suddenly you’re off to England, like kindness is easier with an accent and a cup of tea. But hey, you’ve never been afraid to make bold choices—except maybe with your sexuality. Was it really a choice, Ellen, or were you just finally sick of men’s b*******? Because honestly, while you were throwing a tantrum on set, I could’ve used some r e a l help, not just r e e l help. Next time, save the drama for the cameras and bring the kindness to real life, yeah? I mean, is your name DeGeneres or DeJerk?

And let’s talk about your ‘helping’—everybody you helped had to be run through the CIA first! Be honest, Ellen: did you skip helping some people because the CIA said you shouldn’t, or because you couldn’t remember if you were hosting a talk show or running a background check? At this point, it’s easier to get into the Pentagon than to get a hug from Ellen!

But hey, hosting a Big Chill like that, you must know what being syndicated really means—because after all the drama, it looks like your kindness is the only thing still in reruns. And I mean for the viewer, not for you.

So how can you know something like that—how the business really works—and still throw a tantrum every time stuff doesn’t go your way? Ellen, with all that experience, you should know: if you want a happy ending, you’ve got to be kind all the way to the credits!

And you know what? I challenge you to actually take your own advice for once—help somebody in actual need. Like me, this time. Because it’s not money I need—I need someone to actually give a s***.

so I'm callin BS on your BS, respect fu LL y ©F course! how to be not a dick 101

I will not tolerate disrespect anymore I don't deserve nobody deserves to literally be rated and belittled because of their willingness and or ability to open their legs! 


I'm Calling B******* on Simon Cowell & The Judgment Olympics


Simon Cowell, you rate me a one? Please. I am the scale. I'm the new Top Gun—where I land, that's the high score. Next time you want to judge, remember: you're not ranking me—I'm rewriting "the top."


You ever notice how these talent shows are less about talent and more about who can survive the most side-eye from a British guy in a tight T-shirt? Simon's out here acting like the gatekeeper of greatness, but half the time, the real talent is just getting through the audition without rolling your eyes.


Here's the truth: nobody else gets to define your worth—not a judge, not a critic, not even a smug TV personality with a buzzer. If you're going to judge me, at least bring a new scale—mine's already off the charts.


I'm calling b*******. The only person who gets to decide your value is you. And if you're brave enough to get on stage, you've already won.


Chapter 10 - this is b******* and I'm calling it!