Time? Okay. Barely. Shower fast. Pick real clothes this time.
Robe, gel, what else? Shower cap! No time to blowdry. Now move.
"I'll take a shower"
Why do I have to announce that every time? She didn't even hear that, still stuck in her headphones. What's the point? Stop telling shit and just move next time. Nobody cares. You're not attention-starved. Right? That's not it. It's better if nobody notices.
Please don't be anyone inside. No Haley. No Niamh. I'm not ready for it today.
Oh thank God. Move fast. Where is shower cup? It's where you put it, dumbass.
Warm. Too warm. Stay focused.
Snap out of it. No time. Just a quick rinse.
Enough. Start washing. Now.
Thankfully nobody came. I'm not ready to flash yet. Now dry quickly. Robe up and go.
What's this smell in the air? Scented tea? Did I space out there? Would hate to be late. It's not like it's a lesson or something. Seven-ish has room for interpretation. That'll be your defense, Sophie. Now hurry up. Shit. Door is not budging. Where is the key. Did I even take it? Why is there so much stuff in my pocket? Oh yes, here it is.
Where is she. The hoodie's gone. Bag still here. Did she leave a note or text? No. Should I text? Hell, no. That looks desperate.
Focus. Clothes. Pick something. Not the green. Too washed out. Looks like mold. God, why do I still have it. Trash. Burn it.
Blue? No. Too soft. Looks like I want hugs. Like I came for cuddles. But I do want hugs. Maybe take a risk? No. This isn't a cuddle thing. It's tea. Tea doesn't need softness. Maybe.
White. The clean one. Clean means calm. Unless it shows sweat. Does it show sweat? Fuck. Deodorant, now. Thank God, I remembered.
Black then. But that looks like I'm going to a funeral. What if they ask why I'm so dressed up. What if they think I'm trying too hard.
Not the striped one. Too loud. Like a circus. They'll think I have opinions. Or jokes. And I don't.
Pick something. Just pick. Time's moving. They're already laughing without you.
Jeans. Yes. Safe. Not the ripped ones. Looks like I'm begging for attention. Not the tight ones. If I sit wrong they pinch. Loose ones. Comfy.
Shirt. Grey. Neutral. Like a mouse before cats. Small. Quiet. Trying not to twitch.
Check again. Do I look normal? Think so.
Brush hair. Wait. Half up? Too formal. All down? Frizzy. Ponytail? Child. Messy bun. No. That's Haley. Or worse. Just clip the front. Let the rest fall. Pretend it always looks like this.
Don't forget the keys. Two doors down. Must be that way. Don't panic. They don't bite. Probably. Can't be sure after that bomb.
Almost there. One more breath. Raise your hand—
"Hey, right on time... I might not be the brightest but that's no reason to knock on my head."
"No! I wasn't—I mean, I didn't think it'd open so fast."
"Joking. Come in, tea is ready."
That light's not normal. Dim and soft yellow. Warmer than it should be.
Is that a candle under the teapot? What even is that setup? Sushi restaurant vibes. Heat and presentation. Intimidatingly cozy.
Vase. Cookies. Wait. Cookies in a vase? Not a bowl or a plate. A literal vase. Who puts cookies in a vase?
"We stole all the good cushions before anyone else could. Sit anywhere you want."
Shit. Her voice is too close. When did she get behind my ear?
"Y-Yeah. Thx. Anyone else coming?"
I hope yes. Somebody I already know. But not Niamh. And not Haley. If she comes that cookie vase would go down my stomach for sure. Probably not Sasha either. She'd be here already.
"It's just us tonight. Everyone else flaked."
It'd be awkward to meet more people today.
"Too busy. Or pretending to be."
"Or scared of us."
I don't laugh. Not sure if I'm supposed to.
"You expected more people?"
"Just Haley. Maybe Niamh. But they vanished."
"Probably glued to some disaster documentary. Or actual disaster."
I nod. Just sit. Slowly. Don't collapse like a puppet. Damn, this pillow is a vice. I've already melted.
That smell. Tea. Something herbal. And expensive.
"Oat and lavender. Calms the nerves. We think."
"Here, try it. It's warm enough now."
I nod again. Words are too slow. Just nod. Let the cup settle in my hand.
"Sasha said you were new."
That name again. Always sounds different in someone else's mouth.
"Yeah. First week. Still kind of..."
"Unfolding. We get it."
"Like a cat in a new house. Sniffing corners."
That's me? Really? At least it's a cat.
"I guess."
"She said you're a lit major."
"English. Yeah."
"We figured you were."
Why does that sound loaded. Like they've already got me sorted.
Like I missed the part where I explained anything.
"How's it treating you?"
"Fine. I think. Not quite sure."
"You don't like talking about yourself, huh."
That didn't sound like a question. Was it?
"Sorry. I just... it's weird."
"Being watched or being asked?"
"Both."
They nod like that makes sense.
"You can ask things too, you know."
What to ask? Not too personal, not too irrelevant. Think. Let's go with this.
"How long you two known each other?"
"Since first year. We met in orientation."
"Literally fought over a kettle in the communal kitchen."
"She stole my mug."
"You left it unattended."
"Unclaimed doesn't mean free."
"Anyway, we've been roommates since."
"And partners in crime."
"Mostly minor crimes."
"No conviction. Yet."
Really? That's not something you drop in a casual conversation.
"Anything else you want to know?"
Don't overthink. Just say something small.
"The tea's really good. Do you, uh… do this a lot?"
Great. That didn't sound desperate at all. Definitely not like I want to be invited back. Every time.
"Almost every day. We do it to practice for our major. Socialization is important."
What sort of practice is that. They're psych. Did I get hypnotized?
Is that why I don't feel like leaving?
Why do I suddenly feel like a lab rat?
"But not tomorrow. Our boyfriend would drop by. Maybe the day after. We'll catch you at the lesson and tell you."
Ah. So they're in a relationship. Makes sense. They feel so cozy and mature.
Wait.
Something's off.
She said our.
Our boyfriend.
What the fuck.