The moment Rei blinked, the world changed.
One second, he was in the middle of sipping cold tea in his room, pretending to die slowly from spa trauma. The next, he was standing beneath a sky smeared with eternal twilight. The air shimmered with a violet hue, filled with the scent of blooming nightshade and forbidden wine.
A gentle piano melody drifted through the timeless air.
"Oh. Great," Rei muttered, glancing around. "This feels suspiciously romantic. And dimensionally unstable."
[System Notification: You have entered ⟪Lucivella's Infinite Honeymoon Realm⟫.]
[Time Dilation Ratio: 1 second = 7 days.]
[Warning: Prolonged exposure may result in psychological side effects such as: romantic compliance, soul confusion, or demonic attachment disorder.]
"Oh, that's not ominous at all."
A soft giggle floated from behind him.
"I thought I'd bring you somewhere... special," Lucivella purred.
She emerged from a velvet mist like a queen returning to her eternal throne. Long raven hair flowed behind her, adorned with small ruby chains. Her black dress shimmered with stardust, hugging curves that defied mortal geometry. In her hand? A crystal goblet filled with wine that glowed faintly with soul fire.
"Lucivella," Rei said, voice already sweating. "You didn't have to go this far."
"I know," she replied, stepping forward with the grace of an eternal seductress. "But I wanted you all to myself. Just for a little while."
[System Alert: Correction — ⟪A little while⟫ = approximately 3 subjective months. Good luck.]
Week One: Demon Wine and Velvet Chess
Rei sat at a glass table suspended over a slowly rotating galaxy. The chairs were embroidered with silk from void spiders. Lucivella poured him wine made from fermented stardust and "a drop of your soul I borrowed while you were asleep."
"It's vintage," she explained.
"I'm terrified," Rei replied, taking a very cautious sip.
[System Notification: ⟪Soulfire Wine⟫ consumed. Effects: +5 Charisma, +3 Flirting, -10 Sanity.]
[Side Effect: You are now 12% more charming and 87% more suggestible. Please avoid legal contracts or emotional conversations.]
They played chess. But the pieces were miniature versions of Lucivella and himself.
"Wait… is that tiny-me blushing?" Rei pointed.
"Only when I capture your queen," she said, moving a piece that kissed his on the cheek and exploded into roses.
By the third match, he was down six soul pieces, two blush tokens, and had somehow agreed to read her 800-page poetry compilation titled Moonlight Over My Demon Groom.
Week Two: Romantic Torture (the Soft Kind)
Every morning began with breakfast in bed—specifically, Rei's bed now floating on a crimson lake of affection, paddled around by shadow familiars wearing bowties. Lucivella fed him dragonfruit slices shaped like hearts.
"You didn't even peel them like this last time," Rei grumbled.
"Because last time you didn't moan softly when I offered you a bite."
"I had a cramp!"
[System Warning: Danger Level – Intimate Escalation Imminent.]
[Reminder: You are not legally married. Yet.]
At midday, Lucivella would present him with new outfits.
Today's was: "Casual Husband Elegance"—a fitted white robe embroidered with "Lucivella's Eternal Flame" across the chest.
"I look like a cult leader," Rei said.
"I'm your only follower," she whispered, biting his shoulder.
Week Three: Romantic Dialogue Speedrun
Lucivella had grown more intense. Which, for a demon queen, meant things had reached "soul-bond" territory.
"Do you believe in eternal love?" she asked one evening, lying beside him on a floating crystal garden.
Rei gulped. "Define 'eternal' in demon years?"
Lucivella giggled. "Oh, I meant literal eternity. I wrote our vows in four different infernal languages. Want to hear the one that makes mortals combust?"
"I'd rather not explode during pillow talk."
[System Update: Soul Vow Threshold Detected.]
[New Buff: "Sweet Talked to Death." -5 Evasion when complimented in a romantic setting.]
Month Two: Marriage Negotiation… with Contracts
It began with a candlelit dinner atop a comet.
A literal comet.
As they dined on grilled starlight squid and infernal truffle risotto, Lucivella pulled out a scroll the size of a cathedral.
"What's this?" Rei asked, already sweating.
"Our tentative pre-marital agreement. I kept it simple. Only 2,000 clauses."
Clause #1: Rei would receive unlimited head pats and private chess matches.
Clause #148: If he ever looked at another girl for longer than 4.2 seconds, Lucivella was allowed to steal his voice.
Clause #1999: Lucivella was entitled to braid his hair anytime she desired. Even during battle.
Clause #2000: "I love you. Sign here."
Rei choked on his squid.
Month Three: The Emotional Checkmate
"I want to show you something," Lucivella whispered one evening.
She led him to a mirror that reflected not their bodies—but their souls.
Lucivella's soul shimmered like an ancient flame. Rei's looked like a stressed-out noodle with panic eyes.
"They're touching," she said, voice soft.
"No they're not," Rei said, backing away. "They're just—coincidentally overlapping due to spatial—"
She kissed him. A long, slow, terrifyingly romantic kiss.
[System Notification: Soul Sync Reached 89%. Initiating accidental engagement sequence…]
[You have unlocked Title: Demon Queen's Domestic Partner (Trial Version).]
The Escape (Or So He Thought)
Eventually, mercifully, the time-dilation weakened.
Rei found himself standing back in his room, shaking, wine-stained, and missing a few weeks' worth of emotional resistance.
His pockets felt heavier. He reached inside.
A marriage contract, written in obsidian ink, shimmered with infernal legality. It read:
"Lucivella & Rei: For Better, Worse, and Cosmic Catastrophes."
In the margin: a tiny heart drawn in demonic blood.
[System Notification: New Item Acquired – ⟪2,000-Year Marriage Contract⟫.]
[Durability: Permanent.]
[Fireproof. Divorceproof. Logicproof.]
[Side Quest Unlocked: Explain this to literally anyone without dying.]
Rei collapsed onto his bed.
"Only… four more honeymoons to go," he muttered.
From under the blanket, a familiar voice purred.
"I'm next," whispered Seraphina.
[System Emergency Warning: MULTIPLE FIANCÉES INBOUND.]
[Please select a coffin. Estimated expiration: 2.4 romantic encounters from now.]
Rei screamed into his pillow.
Lucivella's scent still lingered on his collar like a soul-brand. The chessboard reappeared on his desk, pieces already arranged.
And on his mirror, a message written in crimson lipstick:
"Round Two Soon. I'll bring matching rings this time. ♡ –L"
[System Notification: You have survived Lucivella's Infinite Honeymoon Realm.]
[Sanity: -12. Romance Resistance: Broken. Contract Status: Married, probably.]
[Would you like to write a will? Y/N]
To be continued…