**Chapter 10
The Trial of the Thousand Apologies**
Alex Reed woke up the next morning with three facts on his mind:
1. He had technically survived the wrath of a Core Formation cultivator.
2. He had technically seen said cultivator in the bath.
3. He would *definitely* die today.
Word of "the bath incident" had spread like wildfire through the sect. Disciples whispered behind fans, bamboo scrolls had "accidentally" changed his name to *Peeking Reed*, and someone had even erected a small sign near the Lotus Pavilion that read:
**"Beware: Slippery when stalking."**
Alex wanted to bury himself in his qi sea. Or maybe under it.
The System chimed in helpfully:
> *"You have unlocked the title: Shameless Scholar – +2 evasion against slaps and flying slippers."*
"Not. Helping."
---
Down at the central courtyard, the Sect Head had gathered a small audience. Lotus Cloud Mistress reclined in a golden chair, sipping osmanthus tea with suspicious grace. Her long lashes fluttered lazily, though Alex noticed the faint spark of menace behind them.
"Disciple Alex Reed," the Sect Head intoned, "you have been accused of infringing upon the sacred privacy of spirit ascension Elder Lotus Cloud."
Alex cleared his throat. "Permission to explain?"
"You may *attempt*," Lotus said, waving a delicate hand.
Alex took a deep breath. "I entered her pavilion under the impression I was there to help transcribe a formation. I did not know it was also her bathhouse. That said, I did see some things. Regretfully. Respectfully. Accidentally."
He paused. "Also, I screamed internally the entire time."
The audience snorted. A few disciples gave him pity nods. One passed a betting slip to another.
Lotus Cloud Mistress raised one perfect brow. "Hmm. And how shall we deal with your… spiritual transgression?"
Alex braced himself for lightning bolts, qi-crushing techniques, or maybe spiritual banishment. Instead, she rose with a theatrical sigh.
"I demand the Trial of the Thousand Apologies."
Gasps. Crickets. A squirrel fainted on a branch.
The Sect Head stroked his beard. "Ancient. Brutal. Petty. I approve."
"What is that?!" Alex whispered to Jin Mu.
Jin whispered back, "You have to perform one thousand unique apologies. Publicly. Creatively. Spiritually humiliating."
Lotus snapped her fan open. "Begin."
---
**Apology #1** – He performed interpretive dance in the shape of a lotus flower.
**Apology #6** – He painted her portrait using only crushed spirit herbs and his own tears.
**Apology #23** – He composed a haiku:
*Beneath moonlit mist,
I walked wrong into beauty.
Now I fear shampoo.*
**Apology #59** – He played the flute. Poorly. Everyone suffered.
By **Apology #304**, even the squirrels begged for mercy.
By **Apology #876**, Lotus was sipping tea with a smug smile, foot tapping to his tragic rendition of "The Ballad of the Accidental Peeker."
Finally, at **Apology #1000**, Alex knelt before her, offering a bouquet of lotus-shaped steamed buns. "Forgive me, oh fragrant cultivator of clouds. I have seen your silhouette and nearly combusted with shame."
A long silence. Then Lotus laughed—a soft, musical sound that made several disciples swoon.
"Well," she said, "you *do* have flair. Perhaps you're not completely useless."
She flicked a bun into his mouth with her fan. "You may rise, Alex Reed. The sect forgives you."
The crowd erupted in cheers.
The System chimed:
> *"New Title Unlocked: Most Apologetic Cultivator – +5 charisma when groveling."*
Alex collapsed backward in a daze. Jin Mu helped him up.
"Still alive," Alex mumbled. "Still visible. But alive."
"Barely," Jin muttered. "You just survived a romantic execution ritual."
As Lotus Cloud Mistress strolled away, fan fluttering, she paused. "Oh, and Alex…"
He perked up. "Yes?"
"Next time, knock."
And with that, she vanished in a puff of peach-scented mist—leaving Alex wondering whether he'd just dodged death… or started a very dangerous courtship.