Chapter 30: "Romance Is a Trap — The Author's Honeymoon Crisis!"
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[Scene: The Dreamy Romance Manga World – "Blush Blossom High"]
Sparkles fill the air.
Petals drift slowly from a sky painted in eternal sunset.
Chibi birds chirp hearts as you, the Author, sit dumbfounded in a tuxedo.
In front of you stands an entire lineup of anime romance heroines, their eyes shimmering, cheeks flushed, and each holding… a marriage certificate.
The Class President Tsundere: "B-BAKA! Sign the paper already! You belong to me now!"
The Quiet Library Girl: "I already wrote 17 fanfics about us… married."
The Cat-Eared Chaos Gremlin: "Nya~ I picked out your honeymoon outfit~! It's nothing~!"
The Yandere Idol: "I've already deleted all your previous love interests from existence. We're safe now."
You blink.
You look left. You look right.
You try to move—
Chains of Shoujo Sparkle bind you to the altar.
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> "W-Wait a second—WHERE AM I?!"
A narrator's voice echoes overhead.
> "You have been sentenced to… 'The Eternal Honeymoon Dimension'—for violating the sacred law of stealing your own character's wives!"
A magical judge slams a heart-shaped gavel.
> "By the Power of Romance, you are hereby married to all 14 of these waifus. Starting… NOW!"
BOOM! Fireworks shaped like hearts explode.
The crowd cheers. You cry. Softly.
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[Scene: The "First Night" – Love Hotel of Eternal Moé]
You're sitting on a ridiculously oversized heart-shaped bed.
Fluffy pillows. Candles. A bath full of literal rose-scented sparkles.
All 14 wives are gathered around you in pajamas of every trope:
Maid outfits.
Kimono.
Bunny girl.
Oversized sweaters.
They stare at you with loving, sparkly eyes.
You gulp.
> "Guys, listen—this is all a misunderstanding. I'm not that kind of protagonist!"
> "You created us. Now it's time to receive what you sowed~" the Idol whispers, eyes glowing pink.
Suddenly: "First night bonding game!"
They pull out a roulette labeled: "Kisses, Lap Pillows, Hand Holding, Cuddle Chain, Emotional Backstory."
You scream internally.
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[Scene: 3 AM – Hiding in the Closet]
You whisper into a makeshift walkie-talkie built from manga pages and a banana.
> "Boby… help me…"
Back in the real story, Boby sneezes. Raviel smirks.
> "Someone's suffering the consequences of plot-breaking…"
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[Scene: The Next Morning – Operation: ESCAPE REALITY]
You wake up on a massive dining table, handcuffed to two wives feeding you sparkly pancakes and love juice.
Suddenly, the Tsundere leans in with an innocent look:
> "So… when do we name our kids?"
You scream.
You throw the pancakes, dive through a magical window, and run.
Cue Sakura petal sprint sequence.
> "I'M GOING BACK TO MY WORLD! NO MORE PLOT! I JUST WANT RAMEN AND WIFI!"
You break through a panel border, jump into a passing manga cover, and body-slam your way through a reverse harem shojo, a BL dimension, and finally land—
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[Scene: Real World – Your Bedroom, Covered in Comic Pages]
Panting. Sweating. Crying sparkles.
You sit up in your chair. The lights flicker. You're back.
Your laptop screen shows:
"Chapter 30: Romance Is a Trap — The Author's Honeymoon Crisis!"
You exhale.
> "Finally… freedom."
Your phone buzzes. A message:
> From: TsundereWife3000
"See you again tonight, Darling~"
You scream.
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To Be Continued