Late one night, Lu Yan was outside again while everyone else was asleep.
Asan emerged from nowhere, presenting a letter to her, "This is from the young master. Your close maids are all clean Lady Lu. But there's someone in the kitchen who has been messing with your food."
Lu Yan frowned, "With my food?"
"We discovered it quite by chance. One of my people saw her meeting Chen Yuan's subordinate, and she was instructed to discontinue playing with the soup." He frowned, "They didn't mention which soup though. So the lady should be careful when eating, and test everything."
Lu Yan had an epiphany.
Suddenly, she laughed. It was a bitter, painful sound.
"No wonder he knew so quickly," she muttered to herself.
"Is something wrong?" Asan asked.
Lu Yan looked at him, still lost in thought, "It's nothing. Thank you for your help."
Asan said he didn't dare, and bowing, disappeared into the darkness.
Inside his heart, he was elated.
Thankfully, the maids were all clean. No assassination needed.
Lu Yan walked back to her room, carrying the letter absent-mindedly.
Alone now, she sank into a chair, and put her head between her hands. Her shoulders were trembling.
Chen Yuan had calculated so carefully!
She wondered how long he had had suspicions about her relationship with Ji Jing. It must have started before he started messing with her contraceptive soup.
No wonder she was pregnant! Her contraceptive soup had likely been turned into a fertility soup and she had no idea!
She wished desperately that she had been more careful. But at that time, there had been nothing to worry about.
Even the Chen family had agreed that it was better to wait a few more years to have children until both she and Chen Hai were grown up. The contraceptive soup came from her mother-in-law's kitchen. She had never thought of guarding against it.
She cradled her stomach. It was unbelievable.
There was a child growing inside. She was going to be a mother! A mother!
Lu Yan thought of her own mother, and felt her heart recoil.
She stood up and began pacing.
No! She couldn't! How could she become a mother? Especially in a situation, a home like this?
This could all have been prevented if she had known more about the herbs. She could handle any battlefield injury, but women's health defeated her.
How could she never have thought to study the herbs she drank every month?!
She banged a closed fist against the table in frustration. Her hand hurt. Her tears fell and she sobbed in pain and anger.
And these days, she was crying all the time! What was this? She didn't want this!
She needed to think about this. But her emotions were so haywire. She couldn't go a few hours without some kind of emotional breakdown.
She sat down again, and breathed.
Long breath in, pause, long breath out, pause.
There was always a way out. She just had to find it.
Having a child of the Chen family was not ideal- At this thought, tears started pouring again.
She felt helpless against her own self. If only she could think clearly for a moment.
Lu Yan spent the night pacing, sitting, thinking, crying and breathing.
By the time she had the beginnings of a plan mapped out, dawn was already breaking out.
Feeling chilled, Lu Yan put on a heavy cloak and opened the window to look out at the light.
Recalling the letter, she went back to the table and opened it.
It was not from Han at all.
But it was a handwriting she was extremely familiar with.
There were only a few words. First, it said, The farm, followed by a day and time.
The second line simply said, Enjoyment, not dread.
Lu Yan's restless heart settled immediately. Recalling the past, she smiled faintly.
Master was still here.
Feeling light-hearted suddenly, she closed the window and finally went to bed.
---
Lu Yan slept late into the afternoon.
Chen Hai came to visit her, but hearing she was still asleep, he returned to his courtyard.
He thought back to the conversation Lu Yan and his brother had had.
Was Lu Yan really Ji Jing's disciple?
Did his brother really try to assassinate the regent? Why?
He remembered how much Lu Yan had bled when the arrow had pierced her. Could it really have been his brother's fault?
He wanted to talk to someone about all this. The problem was, when he usually had troublesome things, he either went to his brother or Lu Yan. But this time, they were the ones involved.
Feeling agitated, he looked around his room.
Suddenly, he recalled that there was a banquet in the princess' palace. Many of his friends would be there, and there would be painting.
He dressed hurriedly and left home.
The banquet was elegantly arranged.
Scrolls and ink were laid out. Everything was ready for painting.
Only, Chen Hai's mind was in a flurry of distress. Brush in hand, he looked blankly at the beautiful willow, water and lotus scenery.
"Young master Chen is not painting. Do you not like this banquet?" a gentle voice said.
Chen Hai looked over.
It was the fifth princess. He knew of her, but had never spoken to her before. Setting his brush aside, he bowed.
"Princess, forgive my rudeness. The banquet is perfect. It's just my mind is pre-occupied."
"If you don't feel like painting, there's no point in forcing yourself young master. Just drink a cup of tea and enjoy the scenery."
Without another word, she continued walking along.
Chen Hai glanced at his brush. There was truly no need for force. He found his friends in a nearby pavilion.
Seeing him return, brother Jiang called out, "What's this? How come you're not painting?
"I don't feel like it."
"Did you fight with your wife again?" someone asked.
When Chen Hai remained quiet, they all burst into laughter. Chen Hai had bragged just a few days before that he had made up with his wife.
"Come, come, have a cup of wine, and tell your big brother all about it!"
They laughed more.
Chen Hai felt irritated, "We didn't fight."
"Of course, you didn't."
"Yes, she must have only kicked you out! That's why you remembered your old friends."
In this group, Chen Hai's marriage to a woman with a bad reputation had first invited a lot of ridicule, but at that time Chen Hai had been obsessed with his Persian paints, and nothing could daunt him.
Later, when the rest of the group was troubled by their fighting wives and concubines, Chen Hai had always looked happy and comfortable.
In fact, for once, he'd started participating in conversations that didn't involve painting.
These were conversations where he sang praises of his wife, how kind, how nice, how gentle she was. He was genuinely surprised when he heard the others' horror stories of crying, face-slapping, scratching, staying angry, not accepting apologies...
Chen Hai was a person who like quietness and tranquility. He had found a perfect wife. The rest of the boys were jealous.
Now that he was having problems, they couldn't help but rub it in.
Chen Hai pressed his lips together, regretting coming to the pavilion.
There was nothing for it. Though he didn't like alcohol, he took the offered cup, and downed it.
The rest of the boys, seeing he didn't react, stopped teasing him, and the conversation moved on.
Chen Hai drank steadily, and watched the water ripple in the light summer breeze.
He didn't know that drinking today would change the trajectory of his life.